Your Money or Your Life?
February 6, 2009
Today is story time, kids. I would like to tell you a story about two friends of mine, who I fear may be soundly on the road to perdition. Okay, perhaps that’s a bit dramatic. These two are keeping themselves on the road to unhappiness. That’s more like it.
So, the first friend is Magnus (let’s say) who has enjoyed vast professional success. He’s had marriages, kids, mortgages, investments, huge earnings, and responsibilities. But he dreams of getting away, living on a boat, and seeing the world. For some reason, he can’t seem to walk away from potential money, though. He rationalizes that he could make more for his house if he sold it later; he could stay at work a few more months until the bonus is paid, and is expecting a promotion so he could put more in savings. In other words, he believes there is a smart, financially optimal way to chase one’s dreams.
He has been thinking this way for decades, but is still in the same place. Magnus wishes he could just walk away from it all like when he was 20 and had no real responsibilities. But he is convinced he cannot, not yet; so he just thinks about it all the time, wishing his life were otherwise. He is haunted by the saying, “You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind.â€
Then there’s Klaus (or something) who has no house, kids, or marriage, although there is a girlfriend in the picture. He is always struggling financially, and now the economy has made it even worse. Klaus is stressed out trying to make it in the big city and check all the right boxes of success. He has decided he’s just GOT to make it in this role he has envisioned for himself. But Klaus is in the exact position Magnus wishes he were in so he could grab a backpack and go see the world, working odd jobs along the way, like Christopher McCandless in Into the Wild.
When I listen to these two complain about their respective predicaments, I can’t help but think it all comes down to money. Magnus won’t walk away from potential earnings to pursue a lifelong dream. Klaus overlooks the freedoms and opportunities inherent in his situation because he is so focused on getting financial stability or achieving success at this very moment. Money is more important than happiness, it seems.
This reminds me of the question, Your Money or Your Life? Which matters more? Why are so many people willing to postpone life, liberty and happiness in the pursuit of MONEY? Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with this priority system?
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Our society and culture make it quite easy to fall into the need for their terms of financial success. And it plays to the men big time. They are already naturally tuned to provide but the system makes it impossible to fully attain the goal. With life, long-term care insurance, disability insurance savings/401-k annuities. Your head spins. And the kicker is you could have all this set-up and get to retirement and have practically nothing. There are NO Guarantees. So live it up while you can. I’m speaking to myself here. Someone recently asked when my husband and I last went on a real vacation, not visiting family but somehwere adventurous and alone. I was embarrassed to tell them it has been over 7 years since we had a little wanderlust in our lives. Boy do I have some planning to do!
Thanks for always posting great stuff!
Chandra
You hit the nail on the head, my dear: there are NO guarantees. Recently we’ve seen too many examples of people who saved for retirement their entire lives, putting off all sorts of experiences until a later day, only to find those accounts are now empty. No guarantees.
Even if your money does make it to retirement, there’s no guarantee YOU will. We just can’t keep putting off all the great experiences (travel, learning, having kids, spending time with loved ones) until some future date.
I guess I’m the anti-financial advisor. I think a lot of those rules and standards of what our priorities should be are cleverly designed to keep someone else wealthy and keep us working for them. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I just believe there are more important things than money… SO many more.
Get out there, travel, do something fun. Then come back and tell me all about it. I want to hear some GREAT stories!
Lisis
In this story, it seems as if each of them might be a little happier if they moved toward the middle (balance!).
No matter what our situation is, and what we make, we should always try to find happiness where we are. Sure, we can try to figure out how to be happier, but what can you do today to be happier in your current situation? Human beings always want more, so it makes sense to try to accept who and where you are.
I absolutely agree with you. In the story above, I think both guys should make an effort to pursue their dreams sooner rather than later since there are no guarantees. However, in the meantime, they need to find a way to be at peace and content in whatever lives they actually lead today. They should not be postponing their happiness until a time when all is perfect… since that time is not likely to come.
No matter what our hopes and dreams for the future are, it is absolutely critical that we find a way to be as happy as we can be right now, today. This is where the fine line of balance comes in: be content where you are, but not complacent, so you can make the changes necessary to make your life more fulfilling.
Thanks for a great comment!
Lisis
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I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying, alot of people keep chasing the end of the rainbow always looking for the elusive pot of gold.
Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today. Start living your
Dreams NOW.
Hi, Angela! How fun to have a comment on one of my earlier posts… it brings back so many memories. It wasn’t that long ago, but so much has happened since this!
Your timing is perfect, though. We’re making a huge money vs. life decision this week. I hope to write all about it for Monday’s Spirit of Adventure post. Eeek!
Thanks for your comment!
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