Why Worry? Avoiding Feelings of Stress, Anxiety, and Helplessness
April 2, 2009
Today’s post is a bit of a luxury for me because I want to use several images as a photo journal. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words… so here are four thousand “words” to help me convey the feeling of utter helplessness I recently experienced while visiting my extended family in Costa Rica.
When my husband took this picture, he was standing beside the “living fence” in my sister’s yard. He noticed that, on this particularly windy day, someone had started a burn pile in the adjacent field… and walked away. No one (but Jeff) was watching this fire; there was no one to keep it under control.
This is a close-up of the living fence… the only thing between my sister’s yard and the neglected fire. We watched the fire burn and spread, as the wind blew it steadily towards us. We were starting to feel a bit uncomfortable and completely helpless… anxious, worried, and stressed.
At long last, help had arrived! The bomberos (firemen) were going to save us from being consumed by flames!
There was much rejoicing… until we noticed that our “rescue squad” consisted of a couple of kids with a shovel and a hand-held water tank! At this point, stress and anxiety crept back in, as hope and wishful thinking became our best plan of action. As it turns out, the plan worked (or the kids knew what they were doing.) The fire was contained, and the bomberos left the scene. Â
Just a short time later, the original fire-starter calmly lit the fire again! By this time the wind had died down and he was able to keep it under control. All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
“Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.” (Glenn Turner)
The thing about anxiety, worry, and stress during situations in which we are truly helpless is that they are a completely useless waste of energy. Because we were in the yard adjacent to the fire, we watched it with anxiety. The bystanders on the road watched it with curiosity. The fire didn’t know the difference, and none of us affected the outcome.
So… WHY WORRY?
Now I wish I had spent my afternoon curiously entertained, rather than worried and anxious. The next time I feel helpless, I’ll have to remember to make the conscious choice to chillax (chill-out, relax, there’s nothing you can do) and enjoy the ride!
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Great strategy to deal with stress and anxiety Lisis. You are not letting external factors dictate your positive outlook in any stressful situation. Instead, it is your ability to control your internal mindset(energy) to flow and adapt to various stressful situations.
I believe the picture you painted for us has given us a wider perspective of stress in general and belongs on a bigger canvas of life.
The list is endless:
Stress at work, home, relationship, finance, emotional, academic.
Vinny @ Yinnergy’s latest post… Training Tuesdays
Lisis,
Good point! Worrying is a waste of time, but I think it’s hard to avoid when you see fire creeping towards your home. I find I worry less if I feel I can do something about the source of the worry.
You had some real adventures in Costa Rica!
I agree, worry is a pest. I guess serves the biological purpose of keeping us on the safe side, but it sure sucks away quality of life in big chunks. It does prompt action, but we don’t need it in order to act. I’d say it’s mostly obsolete, like a lot of human behaviors.
@ Vinny: Hopefully next time I’ll be able to put this in practice, ’cause that day I didn’t succeed at being quite as objective as I would’ve liked to be.
@ Roger: That’s exactly why… haven’t figured out how to be completely at ease with the world around me potentially catching on fire. If I can master that, though… I’m golden.
Oh, I have adventures EVERYwhere; I can’t seem to escape them! Seems everything I do has a hint of adventure in it. I’m beginning to think I may be partly to blame for that.
@ David: Sounds like our comments on Present Outlook yesterday (about t.v.): it sucks away quality of life in big chunks!
Hi Lisis,
I find that in times like that, when danger is fast approaching, a little worry is good for you. It pays to keep a watchful eye on events as they unfold, and to prepare for the worst “just in case”. Sometimes, just the act of preparing to leave can calm your nerves. Nothing major, but maybe packing a suitcase or a picnic basket in case you have to leave suddenly could help calm your nerves. If you need it, then you have it, and if you don’t need it, then at least you can have a good laugh at yourself later
@ Jay: I can’t tell you how much I love the thought of preparing a picnic basket when you see fire approaching your property. I LOVE IT!!! “Well, might as well pack a picnic basket so we can watch the house burn from across the street.”
That’s Awesome! =-D
PS: SOOOO nice to see you smiling now!!
Hi Lisis, good post! I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be funny so I apologise if this is insensitive but when the kids showed up as the bomberos I found it quite funny!
OMG, despite the worry going on that day, we ALL had to laugh that our “rescuers” had the puniest of weapons to fight the fire. We would’ve been better off with a garden hose!
No need to apologise here, I assure you; I’m UNoffendable. =-)
Hi Lisis,
In India there was this one sign in one store that always made me laugh. It was called the recipe for a happy life: no hurry, no curry and no worry.
I learned a while ago that worrying never accomplishes a thing so good for you for learning it too! Why is it that these lessons always seem to come in scary situations in a foreign country???
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Well I would have worried too! It’s a milder form of the basic fight or flight fear response. Of course, running away might have been more sensible than sitting and watch it get closer and taking pictures .. but what do I know?
Seriously though. Worry does seem a very common way of wasting time.
I love the rocking chair quote! Sums it up beautifully!
@ Nadia: It seems every time I leave the country, I get “taught” a bunch of scary lessons… maybe it’s a sign that I should quit traveling!
@ Ian: I’m sure my brain wasn’t working properly (if it ever does) because I just sat there and documented the fire. Perhaps I should’ve been a journalist? I could be one of those crazy people that stand in the middle of hurricanes, wars, and other disasters mindlessly taking pictures. =-)
As you mentioned in your post, worrying really doesn’t do much (except, in a lot of cases, make the situation worse). As much as we all do it (and some of us do it all the time), it really doesn’t get us anywhere. That being said, sometimes we have to deal with stress and that can be pretty unpleasant. Check out my post on dealing with stress positively: http://positivelypresent.typepad.com/positively_present/2009/03/every-so-often-everyone-at-my-office-receives-a-colorful-little-pamplet-from-our-healthcare-provider-filled-with-helpful-tips.html
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Indeed! Worrying means to be blind and can’t to deal with things in a good way to handle it. We can always control ourselves to be better if we are more calm.
Hicham’s latest post… Earth Hour: Lights/OFF
I wasn’t able to read this post until today. But you know what? I’m not gonna worry about it.
I come from a long line of worriers. I have to constantly remind myself that worrying doesn’t change anything and it doesn’t do any good. The more you remind yourself the less that you do worry. It just takes a while to get your mind to cooperate.
Patty-LifesInstructions’s latest post… How To Look Much Younger
@ Positively Present and Hicham: I completely agree… worrying doesn’t help a bit.
@ Michael: Maybe if youd read the post earlier you wouldn’t have been stressed out this week.
@ Patty: It does take a while to get your mind to stop doing what it naturally does. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort. Welcome to Q4B!
[...] long ago I wrote a post called, “Why Worry? Avoiding Feelings of Stress, Anxiety and Helplessness,” describing a scenario in which all of my worry and concern did not affect the outcome one [...]