Adventure: Find YOUR Path, Come What May
May 11, 2009
“Nature made us individuals, as she did the flowers and the pebbles; but we are afraid to be peculiar, and so our society resembles a bag of marbles, or a string of mold candles. Why should we all dress after the same fashion? The frost never paints my windows twice alike.” (Lydia Maria Child)
This past week I embarked on a new adventure, one that would make Leo Babauta proud, I think: I decided to do LESS.
As some of you may have noticed, I closed the comments on my blog from Tuesday to Thursday. There are a few reasons for this, but a big reason is I wanted to reclaim my life. I was spending so much time commenting on my blog and others, I was starting to miss out on MY life. And let me tell you, that’s a lot to give up! I LOVE my life, and I want to be there for it.
I know that not having comments is a strange thing to do in the blogging community. I also know that it will likely cost me readers and page views. But, as Stephen Covey said, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.“ And for me, the main thing is writing posts that I feel will be helpful to readers as they struggle to figure out this crazy thing called life. I’m sure other bloggers can do both at the same time… but I can’t. It’s one of the downsides of being fully present in each thing I do; I can’t do as many things as I used to back in my multi-tasking days (when I half-arsed everything).
I love the blogging community, and have met the most wonderful people by reading and interacting on all of their blogs. I would like to continue to do this, but I also want to have certain days that are sacred… when I communicate directly with each reader.
I don’t mean I want every reader to email me; I mean I write a post from my heart to yours, while YOU read it and learn anything you are supposed to learn from it. No one else needs to know, and no one else’s opinions need to interfere with yours. On those days, if you feel there is something you would like to share with me, or if you need someone to listen, email me. If you enjoyed the post, please share it with someone else who might benefit from it.
On Mondays and Fridays I plan to keep comments open, since both are about fellowship and helping each other get excited about life. On those days, I would love to have other bloggers stop in, contribute to the conversation, and leave helpful links to articles they have written about those topics. You know me… it’s ALL ABOUT BALANCE. I hope that having 2 days of comments and 3 days of quiet introspection will be something my readers can appreciate because, as Martin Luther said, “I can do no other.”
So today’s Spirit of Adventure lesson is: Find Your Path… chart your own course. If the normal way of doing things doesn’t work for you, create your own way. This blog may well go down in flames over this, but it’s a chance I have to take because I care deeply about having meaningful interactions with those who need them most, my loved ones, and anyone who is currently struggling.
“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person.” (Richard Buckminster Fuller)
If there is something you would like to share with me you can contact me directly at:
MyQuestForBalance (at) gmail (dot) com.
Or, if you prefer, you can tweet me @Serene_Balance.
Thanks!!!
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Posted in Spirit of Adventure, balance, choices, family, helping others
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Respect for the honesty, and that’s an awesome quote at the end of this post. I think it will be quite confusing for people though to come by and comment and not notice comments are closed or open or whatever. Not everyone will read a post on the day you write it, and might want to comment at a later stage.
Some of my most popular articles were written months ago, and they still get an awesome comment every day or so. Maybe you should choose between either / or. Maybe close off the comments here but keep up your activity on other sites and vica verca to see how things work out.
Good luck either way!
Cheers,
Glen
Glen Allsopp’s latest post… How to Generate Any Feeling, Instantly
Thank you, Glen… I appreciate your support and your advice. I’m planning to have a note at the end of each post and, when comments are closed, it will link back to this one… in case anyone wonders about my reasons.
I know it’s a bit confusing and a whole lotta non-traditional, and that a lot of readers may not stop by at all, if they can’t comment. But I have to stay true to myself above all. I want to help others as much as I can by sharing my thoughts and feelings with them. But I also want to be as present as I can in my real life… away from the computer. My little guy is growing up too fast for me to want to miss any part of it.
Maybe my online absence will help more than my presence, because I’ll be teaching by example? I believe it’s important to unplug from electronics and spend as much time as possible with our loved ones. When you’ve created a life you can really get excited about, life’s too short to spend it all online.
Thanks!
I think it’s a great idea, and a perfect example of the balance you are questing for. As you have said, moderating comments, reading comments, and replying to comments takes a LOT of time, and usually, it’s just other bloggers commenting, not the people you are trying to help.
I think this is a good decision for you, Lisis. Your blog is all about helping people, and I think that is easier done without comments getting in the way.
As for myself, I love getting comments on my blog. I like that many people can answer my questions, and that the knowledge and inspiration provided by everyone can be shared with everyone else. In fact, I imagine that my blog will eventually give birth to a forum which will encourage even more conversations and sharing of wisdom.
But for the help you provide, for the reasons that people come to you, I think a smaller, more intimate one-on-one approach is best. And comments just get in the way of that. Bravo to you, for knowing your audience, knowing yourself, and doing the right thing…even if it goes against conventional wisdom.
Jay Schryer’s latest post… 30 Day Challenge: Mindful Meditation
Thank you, Jay… you made me cry… again. Didn’t your mom teach you not to make little girls cry!?
It’s true, though, I write for readers who are seeking comfort from very real pain that just won’t go away any time soon. Most often those readers won’t comment anyway; they don’t want to air their troubles, guilt and shame in public. Closing comments on the “deeper” posts frees up some time for me to connect one on one with anyone who needs that.
I guess the hard part about straying from conventional roads to trailblaze your own path in life, is you have NO idea what that path looks like yet. But if you know the main road won’t get you where you’re going… it’s time to take the road less traveled.
Lisis,
You’ve made an excellent compromise. As you say, the main point is to help others and in order to do that you have to have a sane life. I expect that you’ll gain more readers from your candor and sincerity. Of course, your beautiful writing and advice also helps.
Roger – A Content Life’s latest post… Beware of False Kindness
I think you’ve made a good choice here. You are creating a balance by allowing for comments somedays and encouraging readers to contact you directly on other days. I really enjoyed reading this…I think you are being very insightful here!
Positively Present’s latest post… the power of adversity: a book review
I appreciated your honesty in this post very much and thank you for it. While it’s true that you may indeed lose a few readers or a few comments, in the scheme of things these will be very small costs for you remaining true to yourself. I’ve found that when I listen to my inner voice and honor her (even if it goes against the grain) I am usually rewarded ten times over for having done so … in ways I couldn’t imagine before. This puts me in mind of these words from Ecclesiastes: “Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.” Go ahead. Cast away.
Chania Girl’s latest post… Happiness 101
I love that… cast away, indeed. Beautiful image.
Thank you, I really appreciate all of the support I have received so far… in comments, tweets and emails.
I am about to go homeschool Hunter, so I’ll get back to replying later in the day. Have a wonderful Monday!!!
Hi Lisis,
Good for you for taking a stand and doing what works for you! The thing that makes life so beautiful is that there is no set of rules that you have to follow. Just listen to you heart and I am happy that you did.
Nadia-HappyLotus’s latest post… Happily Ever After?
LOL. Between you and Nadia, it seems like I’m always making girls cry! I suppose so long as they’re “good” tears, my mom won’t mind so much! But if they’re “bad” tears, well, I suppose I could always give you her phone number, and she’ll whack me good!
Jay Schryer’s latest post… 30 Day Challenge: Mindful Meditation
Ooooh… that’s right! You grew up in Alabama! Jeff’s told me all about those Alabama whoopins he used to get. Something about a hickory switch and a ton of pain. Not fun. Even the teachers got to “paddle” him! So, yeah, if you’re not careful, I’m calling your momma!
Nadia, sounds like you and I need to toughen up!
Lisis, I love the integrity of this decision. Personally, I don’t think your blog will ‘go down in flames’ – exactly the opposite. I have often been at a similar crossroads in my teaching, and am at another one now, and going with what feels like will most truly benefit people and maintain my own balance has so far always been the right choice. Most success comes through rule-breaking anyway, right?
The whole balance issue is so tough – there is something about the internet and blogging that just keeps pulling and pulling on you. It is actually an energy thing I think (but that’s an aside.) I have found for myself that I just have to go 100% offline for 2-3 days every week to rebalance (I usually do it Fri afternoon to Monday morning). So if closing comments mid-week is the option that works for you, then go for it:-) My theory is that the balance you achieve will come through in your posts, and help people even more.
Lisa (mommymystic)’s latest post… The Spirituality of Motherhood – Lessons from the REAL Masters
Good for you, Lisis.
The most simple way for me to say that I support you is to congratulate you for going with your “gut.” The occasions where I have not followed my inner compass have always ended badly.
So, thumbs up and thanks for your openness and honesty. It is quite refreshing. Thanks for being an example for all of us.
You know what? Since you closed comments I’ve wanted to comment more, so it’s great to have this post with comments open. So I think it’s a great idea .. and more important it’s a decision from your heart and not a cynical attempt to get noticed. I really admire your integrity!
But now I CAN comment – I don’t what else to say.
So I’ll shut up!
Ian | Quantum Learning’s latest post… How are you?
Change is good. Being there for people is a very integral thing I do on twitter. I’m very drawn to the energy here. In All Things Moderation. It’s an IDEAL. We practice to achieve ideals. And in doing in so we do our best, which in turn is what comes forth.
Serene Balance. Kudos to you dear friend.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Dan–
danlopez2012’s latest post… I know Its been a while, but this is really kewl stuff
Hi, Dan! Thank YOU for the inspiration to do things a little differently.
Thanks for stopping by here… my second home. Now we need to get you a gravatar so I can “see” you here, too.
Hey Lisis! I dropped by the other day and noticed that comments are closed. I thought comments are closed off permanently, until I dropped by again today and saw this post. Now it all makes sense
I agree that comments management can take up quite a bit of time. This is the reason why I close off comments completely on my site (http://embraceliving.net/blog/2009/02/turning-comments-off/). It’s great that you decided to take a compromise on this and have comments on some days, off some days. At the very least, I can still share my thoughts and connect with you on some days.
Celes | EmbraceLiving.Net´s last blog ..101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time
Hi, Celes! Yes… I am so glad you took the time to read the little footnote about it. I struggled for a long time to come to this conclusion, but I feel like it was the best compromise for me. I love the interactions with fellow bloggers, but I also like days that are a little different… a little “sacred”.
What I’ve noticed is that even on these days, I can have dialogue with readers about the posts… just not here. We chat about them in email, on facebook, and on twitter. The email discussions, in particular, are so much more intimate and profound, that I feel I’m really getting to know my readers much better. For that I am eternally grateful.
Thank you, Celes, for visiting Q4B, for understanding my comments arrangement, and for letting me know you’re here!
Lisis´s last blog ..Guilt, Regret, and Saving the Sea Turtles
Hey Lisis,
I wanted to let you know that I’m cutting down to one blog for a while but I will still be over here following you.
Hugs,
Tammy
Tammy-Cricket´s last blog ..From my view…
Tammy, I think that’s a great move… you’ve got to simplify and find what works best for you. I’ll be thrilled if you will follow along on this new adventure of mine. Who knows what tomorrow will look like, right?
Take Care!!
Well I’m new here via Twitter and I think what you’re doing is revolutionary. You go and I’ll be back each day you post cuz I like people who are bold enought to do their own thing!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Love Now Music Video by Kute Blackson (life coach)
Thanks, Tess! I’m thrilled you’re here… Welcome to Q4B! I’ve seen you around the blogosphere and love your super Bold Life! I guess we’re either brave or different, you and I.
Thank you for the insight… i was away from FaceBook for 21 days for the same reason… i wanted to re-claim my life!!
Kabamba´s last blog ..LeechBlock for Productivity
Oh, I bet that was wonderful! Every once in a while I am force to take some real time off… like during my road trips, or when I was in Costa Rica and the internet was so unreliable. During those times I see the word with new eyes.