Many of my boyfriends were imaginary. I don’t mean that other people couldn’t see them; there were actual boys standing in for my make-believe versions. But those flesh-and-blood people were NOT the ones I was having a relationship with. I was in love with my idealized version of who they could be, and a fantasy of who WE might one day be together.

Lately I’ve come to realize that this fictionalizing of the real world is what often leads to affairs and broken hearts. Particularly in these days of texting, instant messaging, Twitter, Facebook, emails, and other virtual social lives, almost every human relationship has become a bit imaginary. I’m not saying every affair is based on lies and imaginary conditions, but I do know that a good many of them are. The problem is that the illusions eventually fade.

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Do you ever feel like you are the one parent who is doing it all wrong? I was just reading about Hothouse Kids and the trouble with “giftedness” in our quest to be special. What is the deal with superstar (Hothouse) kids and their parents? Why do we compare ourselves, and our children, to them?

I don’t get it. I see these kids on TV and I am totally fascinated for the entire time they are on stage. They are talented and funny and gifted and fearless and charming and determined and, most importantly, four or five years old! But when I look around at all the kids I know who are that age, I don’t see any prospects of that.

Posted in balance, choices, family, helping others, homeschool, love Comments Off

My dad’s favorite coffee cup had a picture of Garfield, with the words, “Use your friends wisely.” He was real fond of that phrase, and used to preach it to us like it was the gospel. I was outraged!!!

Judging my father like only kids can, I used to believe it was despicable that he would even consider USING his friends! “How unethical!  How very shallow and inconsiderate!” (How quick we are to judge our parents harshly before we truly understand them.)

What I later came to realize was that we were each reading our own version of the phrase. I focused on the USE YOUR FRIENDS part, whereas he was focused on the WISELY part… as in “make the best use of your friends so that it’s a win-win for everyone.” It’s the efficient delegation of duties so that no one is disappointed.

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