Fellowship Fridays: Cultivating Confidence
July 10, 2009
I’m usually an extremely confident person, but not when it comes to blogging. I keep hearing a voice in my head that says, “Who are you kidding? You aren’t a writer, a blogger, or a shrink! How are you even remotely qualified to write for a blog that aims to help people?”
The truth is, I’m not.
I don’t really know what I’m doing, or the proper way to do this. I struggle constantly with all the “blogger” stuff, like tech problems, making time to comment on other blogs, writing guest posts for bigger blogs, and networking at all hours. In truth, I’m not so good at spending any length of time online. What I do know how to do is care about others, and write my thoughts and feelings on a variety of subjects. Maybe those two things will be enough?
I recently heard Lionel Ritchie say in an interview that neither he, nor Michael Jackson, could read or write music. Is that really possible? …That the King of Pop had never really studied music and learned the “proper” way to do it? And if so, maybe that is the very reason his music stood out from the rest. For the record, I am in no way comparing my writing to Michael Jackson’s music… I’m just saying, he did great things without the traditional training. For that matter, so did Mozart.
That got me thinking about some other people who took non-traditional paths to accomplish their goals. With help from my dear friend, Lori, I have compiled this list:
Rachel Ray: Did not go to cooking school.
Nate Berkus: Never studied interior design.
Michael J. Fox: Didn’t graduate from high school (until much later in life).
Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Michael Dell: Didn’t complete more than one semester of college.
Frank Lloyd Wright and Henry Ford: Did not attend high school.
Nora Roberts: The most prolific novelist, grosses 40 million a year–more than Stephen King, didn’t major in English or take writing classes. In fact, she never went to college!
Woody Allen: Was a failure as a Film/Production major in college. He was such a failure, he was not allowed to return as a sophomore.
After putting together my list, I started feeling like my lack of official training is probably not as big a deal as it seems to me. I need to just be true to myself and focus on the parts that do come naturally to me: writing, caring, and getting to know readers individually.
Just as I was coming to these realizations, one blogger in particular confirmed and validated what I was feeling: Tammy, from A Cricket in the Garden. She wrote a post called, “In hiding… that’s all,” which came at the perfect time for me. Between the post, the comments on that post, and some other communications Tammy and I had through Facebook and Twitter, I soon started to feel completely confident that I was on the right path… MY path.
So, Tammy, if you are reading this… THANK YOU. You have helped me more than you can possibly imagine!
Everyone else, if you have not had a chance to meet Tammy, I’d like to encourage you to visit her beautiful blog and get to know a truly caring, compassionate, and adventurous soul (she jumped out of an airplane this week!).
If you know of others who have accomplished great things without the “proper” training, please mention them in the comments. I’d love to keep adding to my list.
Thanks!!!
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Posted in Fellowship Fridays, Overcoming Challenges, happiness, love, pleasure
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Hi Lisis,
I came across your article and I couldn’t agree with you more. Sometimes I think we tend to forget that we all bring something unique into this world – call it our own personal flavor. In my case I think it’s always been how I easily adapt to rhythm when I play West-African djembe (hand drumming). I acquired majority of my skill through self-learning and practice and I had very little formal training. For a while, I used to doubt my abilities as a drummer given that I was pre-conditioned to think that in order to be successful at something, formal training was always a given. I realize that this is not necessarily the case. As you mentioned in your post, some of the greatest innovators came from little or no formal training background. I’ve come to think that it’s all about trusting your instincts and going with the flow, wherever it may lead you. If it feels right, do it even though the voice of self-doubt comes knocking.
You’re doing fantastic work, and I think that it’s mainly due to the fact that you do the work you do from the heart. In my opinion, that’s the most important part even above formal training. Your passion shows in your work, keep doing what you’re doing!
Rhythm Rob
Rhythm Rob´s last blog ..The Call and Answer: Finding Your Destiny
If we can listen to our heart, really listen – and then somehow articulate that (sometimes that takes a lot of courage!) – we ARE achieving our dreams. So, Lisis, know that you are doing that here. You speak words that are deeply moving – and if this is all coming from your heart – then it doesn’t matter what formal training you’ve had, what your name is, or how well connected you are. What matters is that it feels “right” for you. That is success.
And I’m so glad to see you mention Tammy, she’s a dear friend of mine, a beautiful soul, and a kindred spirit. What a gift she has been in my life…
Lance´s last blog ..There Is Greatness Within
@ Rhythm Rob: That is a fantastic story… and your blog post today is so relevant to this topic! I love what you’ve said here about trusting our instincts and going with the flow, despite the inevitable self-doubt.
Thanks so much for your comment, and welcome to Q4B!
@ Lance: So true… I keep being reminded that if I write what is in my heart, I can’t go wrong. I don’t know if it will result in any financial success, but it is definitely the path to my own fulfillment, which is infinitely more rewarding.
A bit of trivia about Q4B posts and writing from my heart… all of my posts are written from start to finish, without revision or second drafts. Granted, some of them probably suck because of it, but my point is, they just pour out from deep within me. I often feel like I’m not even the one writing them; I’m just the messenger, taking dictation. It is not a process that comes from my mind at all.
Kinda weird, huh? And surely more than you wanted to know. Not sure why I shared that but, like I said, I’m just the messenger.
“What I do know how to do is care about others, and write my thoughts and feelings on a variety of subjects. Maybe those two things will be enough?”
I simply want to say that yes, they are! I have been following your blog for a little bit, and I find it incredibly inspirational and insightful. I am very happy to have come across you (through livejournal)
)
@ Crystal: Thanks!!! It’s so neat to see you here! I love it when my LiveJournal and Quest For Balance worlds cross paths. It feels like one big party, and everyone I know is invited!
I’m glad you are enjoying Q4B, and I’m thrilled beyond words to have you along for the journey. It still amazes me from time to time that this is now a group journey, as it was always just little old me, writing in my old fashioned journals for my eyes only.
But, like any journey or adventure, this is SO much better when shared with friends!
Weird? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. The truth is that for me, the posts that I write which have the deepest meaning are very similar to this. It just comes out so easily – and when it does, it just feels “right”. (although I may go back and make a couple of slight revisions…I’m not as good as you are…). More truth – I think your writing really is wonderful – and this just gives a bit more insight into why that’s so (I think it’s pretty cool that you write this way). So – thanks for being the messenger…
Lance´s last blog ..There Is Greatness Within
Thanks, Lance… for your words, and for coming back to continue this conversation. I know it takes an extra step with Q4B, ’cause I haven’t managed to get the “Subscribe To Comments” thing to work here, so you don’t get constant updates sent to your inbox. I don’t know what the deal is with that… plugins just don’t like me, I guess.
And as for your writing, it is certainly every bit as real and sincere as mine. When I read your writing I can always connect with YOU, the person behind the writing, and that is kinda rare in the immense blogosphere. I deeply treasure the handful of “real people” blogs I have found, and yours in definitely among them.
This is a great post and a really good reminder that we don’t have to have specialized education or be handed golden opportunities to succeed in life. I’m off to check out the blog now…Thanks for providing the introduction!
Positively Present´s last blog ..why i need other people to change myself
I hate it when you write a great post, and I don’t have anything useful to contribute! Doing too much work on my own confidence to be of any help here, so I guess I’ll just say thank you for the wonderful article!
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..The Road’s Still Long
@ Dani: You’ll love Tammy… she’s super sweet and easy to connect with… like you!
@ Jay: You know, I don’t think I’m buying your excuses anymore. The last, like, ten posts you’ve come up with some excuse why you have nothing of value to contribute to the comments… am I seeing a pattern develop here? You’re losing your touch, darling; time to get back in the game!!
You know I love you, comment or no comment. I’m just glad you stop by.
LOL. Sooooo not true! I’ve been commenting plenty! I’ve only used that excuse like twice…ok maybe three times…now! ok, fine. Here’s a good comment:
You believe that you aren’t qualified to help people. But that’s simply not true. Life is the best teacher, and the only degree that matters is the one you get from living life, having experiences, and going through trials and troubles. The school of hard knocks, as it is sometimes referred to.
You, my dear, have gone through a lot of pain and suffering. You have overcome obstacles and barriers. You know what it means to be depressed, to be hurt, to feel sad, lonely, and confused. You know what it means to suffer, because you have suffered.
And since you have found your way through the pain, through the suffering, and to the other side…you have compassion, inner strength, understanding, and tolerance.
And THOSE things make you qualified…uniquely qualified, I might add…to help people who are going through those same things. You blazed a trail through the darkness, and now you help carry a torch for others who are following behind you on that same trail. Because it is your path, no one on this planet is more qualified to help show others the way. No. One.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..The Road’s Still Long
Hello Lisis,
What a wonderful surprise to wake up to find this. I arise each morning and take a long walk. I then return home to check out FB and Twitter. This has become part of my morning routine. This morning was no different. I then saw your post link on FB and linked right over. I begin to read and there was my name. I was so excited that you mentioned me, but in particular my post. A post that I wrote with genuine mixed emotions.
I’ve always been a person of expression. I grew up around a family of readers, gardeners, writers, painters, etc. I guess blogging was an avenue that was the perfect fit for me. I can write, draw, be myself, all while meeting others that enjoy the same. Somewhere along the line I began to miss the true meaning of life. I became selfishly absorbed with my words and the walls around began to close up. It was then that I realized that I needed a change. I sat down to write about this emotion. A door opened and I was free. I was free to be me and it was okay to let the blog sit in idle while I went outside to play. I was happy to see my friends are always there when I return.
In the process of this I began reading more around the web. I ran across you and instantly fell in “love” with your open heart. I know this sounds conflicting. How can I say I am playing more outside if I am online meeting new friends? It is like this. I began reading blogs that I enjoyed as opposed to just reading blogs because someone told me to, because they had left me a comment on my blog which in turn meant that I had to become a daily follower of that person, or simply because I just felt I needed to follow them because they might not have a group of readers and they seemed to need a friend. Once I got over this hurdle, which was huge, I have really become a much happier person. It is okay to walk away. It is okay to be different. It is okay to put on your blog whatever it is that makes you happy, or even makes you sad. Your expression belongs to you.
We will see where this goes. I haven’t been a member of FB that long but I can truly say that outlet has been very fun as well. I can quickly keep up with those friends that I am close to without having to go to their site to read. Sometimes we just don’t have time for that. Sometimes a quick “I like” on the FB page is all we have time for. Sometimes that is enough.
Each day is new. I am so happy to have these “new” days. I have so enjoyed your blog Lisis. I look forward to our relationship growing. We will meet up!
I also want to say thank you for any that might link over to my place. Give me a day or two but I will make it around to your blog. I promise. I do not have any “stats” loaded onto my site (that is another complete story in and of itself), so unless you leave a quick hello I’m afraid I will not know you arrived.
Hugs,
Tammy
Tammy-Cricket´s last blog ..I wish, I wish…
@ Jay: OK… see… now I don’t know what to say… and that’s totally not fair, ’cause this is MY blog! I’ll have to get even with you on YOUR blog.
(thanks)
@ Tammy: You’re welcome. And thanks for stopping by here today so my readers can “meet” you. I’m sure they will find you to be as wonderful as I have.
I would leave you a really long, sappy response here… but I pretty much did that on facebook, and my readers can only handle “so much” sappiness in one post (Jay already used up the quota for this one.)
Long story short: I feel truly blessed to have found you!
I just stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad that I did. I have just began my blogging adventure and I still struggle with feeling like I’m not qualified to speak to others through this medium. Yet, when I post an entry I am filled with such joyful energy. That is the proof that I need to know that what I am saying merits something. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
Jill´s last blog ..Passion & balance
This only proves that rules are made to be broken. There isn`t a specific manual for ANYTHING in life. You just have to want it bad enough and you`ll find YOUR way, which is the best, if not the only one.
Oh and I have someone without ¨proper¨ training to add to your list: Glen Allsopp
Rosa´s last blog ..Porque yo amo a Michael – Because I love Michael
@ Jill: Welcome to Q4B… and welcome to the blogging adventure! I love the title of your post (Passion and Balance), I’m a fan already. I’ll go read it as soon as I’m done here.
I’m glad you found my blog and this post in particular… sounds like it was exactly the message YOU needed to hear today. You said it all when you mentioned the joyful energy you feel when you post. What more could you ask for?
@ Rosa: Oooohhh… good call on Glen. He’s definitely done some amazing things fueled by passion and determination alone. Very inspiring young man, that one.
PS: Yo tambien amo a Michael.
YOU ARE QUALIFIED!
YOU ARE INSPIRATIONAL!
YOU ARE UNIQUE!
What do you mean you aren’t a qualified writer? You turned a couple of my observations (thanks for the attribute, by the way…) into an inspirational, mind-bending story.
Cheers!
Hi Lisis,
Beautiful post and my favorite so far!
Paul McCartney of the Beatles did not study music either. Elvis Presley was told he would not be a great singer when he was in high school. Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein both got D’s in school and eventually quit.
I have often believed that talent lies in a persons heart and that cannot be taught. Some of the best writers never took a writing class. Each person has a special skill and talent and each persons path is unique.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Living Instead of Working: My Interview With Jonathan Mead
Lisis, I resonated a lot with what both you and Tammy said. It seems a lot of people have been driven to go inward and re-assess recently. The truest and most powerful things always come from our depths, and finding that takes space. And I think it’s absolutely true that at a certain point listening to the ‘experts’ – on blogging, writing, or anything else – can just box us in and prevent us from finding our own unique style and voice. As far as I’m concerned, keep doing what you’re doing, you always hit the mark for me:-) Namaste- Lisa
Lisa (Mommy Mystic)´s last blog ..On Seeing, Wisdom, and the Value of Non-Detachment
Phase One Complete – Understanding that you control your own life. I did not go to college, but I am the owner of a successful business that has government clients. And I live in Costa Rica to top it off.
It took a life change for me to realize what I should be doing with my life, once I started down this path I haven’t looked back and I happier for it.
Tammy is great, I have been a loyal fan of her blogs *don’t forget the photo blog* for a while now. I especially love that she jumped out of an airplane, I think I missed the pictures I have to go look for them now…
Anyway, Lisis great post and keep looking forward, never backwards…
Jim Gaudet´s last blog ..Costa Rica Mountains in the Morning | Photos
Sorry for the double post, but I wanted to mention that I like your rollover link effects. Very pleasing to the eyes, then I noticed on your footer that you can see the bullets. If you mess with you css you can fix that. try this;
#chunkyfooter ul {list-style-type:none}
I think that will work for you,
Jim Gaudet´s last blog ..Costa Rica Mountains in the Morning | Photos
I never really got any formal training in anything except for my job. And my current line of work is the one thing in my life that feels conspicuously out-of-place, so that tells you something about formal training: it sometimes makes us identify with roles that don’t really fit us.
From here on in I’m only interested in what interests me, if you know what I’m saying.
As for writing, anyone who writes is a writer, don’t you forget it
David Cain´s last blog ..The Highest of Arts
David, I couldn’t have said it better myself! (All of it.) –A
Alison | Quest for Balance´s last blog ..Fellowship Fridays: Cultivating Confidence
Hey, guys! Sorry I disappeared for a while… went out to play with Hunter, buy some produce from a neighbor, and play with two little kittens. Pretty good afternoon, I’d say!
@ Lori: Thanks, hon! You never know what little snippet of our conversations will get turned into a whole blog post. Didn’t I tell you that you are my muse?
@ Nadia: Wow! Your favorite so far, huh? That’s pretty exciting stuff! Thank you for those great examples to add to my list. I’m beginning to think formal training might actually be detrimental.
@ David (and Ali): You may be on to something here… definitely worth considering.
@ Lisa: You’re back! We’ve missed you. I noticed in my email that I had a new post from your blog, but haven’t made my way over there yet (I will when Hunter goes to bed). Every once in a while I’d check your blog to see if there were any updates of how you are doing, so it’s great to see you here!
I think you are right, that there’s been a shift lately… turning inward, valuing real people and relationships more than things or achievements… it’s very encouraging. I’m thrilled to think we may be on the cusp of some major change. It’s like Christmas Eve, only better!
@ Jim: No worries for the double post (and thanks for the tips); you just make yourself at home here in the comments section. I think you’ll find Q4B to be a pretty laid back place… much like Costa Rica!
I’m thrilled that you have created a new and wonderful life that you enjoy, and I’m sure being in a tropical paradise doesn’t hurt. I don’t know if you noticed, but my gravatar picture was taken at Volcan Poas, and my twitter background is Chirripo Mountain as seen from my dad’s house. Costa Rica runs DEEP in my veins, so you’ll find it permeating many of the posts in my archives. I hope you’ll find some fun stuff in there.
Welcome to Q4B!!
This is my first visit here, needless to say I enjoyed every moment. The post is cool and so are the comments
. I am sure to be back.
Keep up the good work.
Robin Bal´s last blog ..Believe That It Is Possible For You To Be A Success
Thanks for stopping by, Robin, and welcome to Quest for Balance! We hope to see you here again. Feel free to look through the archives — there’s some good stuff here. : )
Hello everyone,
Thank you Lisis for placing me on your blog today. I have enjoyed meeting many of your friends via FB,Twitter, and email. I look forward to getting to know each of them much better. Yesterday was one of those days that I was on the go, go, go so I’m a bit behind on getting back with everyone! I will.
@Lance It was great to see you here. Yes, we do go back a long way. I don’t know what I would do without some of your kind thoughts on many, many days. Having children about the same age gives us another link that is unmatched. We travel those teen parenting years head on. Onward we go…….
@Jim Gaudet I thought you would like it here. I ran across Lisis somewhere through a link and I fell in love with her blog from day one. You are a very easy person to become attached to as well! Lisis, he is a mastermind behind with computer info. If you are in a jam, just ask Jim. He also displays many pictures and writings from his current journey of living in Costa Rica.
Tammy-Cricket´s last blog ..I wish, I wish…
@Hello Rosa,
Thank you for your kind email and the join on FB. I look forward to getting to know you much better. I went to your site and it seems full of life and excitement! See you on the trails of the WWW.
Tammy-Cricket´s last blog ..I wish, I wish…
@Hello Rosa,
You are probably thinking what is she talking about. You didn’t send me a email this was another Rosa. I was mentioned on another blog yesterday and there was another Rosa. Well, I do look forward to following you. It was your blog that I checked out.
OH, give me a day or two and I will be back to normal.
Tammy-Cricket´s last blog ..I wish, I wish…
Hi Lisis – I wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post. It so nicely demonstrates that you have already captured the secret to being a good writer – a really good one. You remind us that it’s all about exposing yourself; your hopes and dreams, worries and successes. After all, how would you train to be you other than by just living your life? That you are thoughtful enough to share it with others, well, that’s just lucky for us.
matt´s last blog ..for whom do you speak today?
Hey, Matt! Well aren’t you just the sweetest? That last sentence totally made me smile… really, I don’t mean that in a spiritual or metaphorical way. I mean, literally, I was smiling while staring at my screen… probably looking like an idiot to anyone who saw me!
Welcome to Q4B, and thanks for commenting!
I’ve created many blogs and websites of varying success. I’ve noticed how difficult it has been in the past 5 years in terms of putting a message out when there are so many people out there doing the same. But I have learned that when I am really passionate and connected with my topic other people seem to find me even if I never publicize my efforts.
Bakari´s last blog ..Beat the Competition: Practice when you Sleep!
Hi, Bakari! Well that is just wonderful news for me, because I am definitely passionate about helping others get through tough times. I honestly can’t imagine blogging for its own sake, or just as a means to make money because it can completely consume you if you aren’t careful… and it’s not that easy to make it profitable.
I don’t know if it was like this a few years ago, before the social media craze and the zillions of new bloggers each day… but now, it seems to be a 24/7 affair. I have to constantly remind myself what my personal goals are with this blog (sharing my experiences and helping others) in order to not get distracted by all the things I could be doing. “Share and Care” has become my daily mantra.
Welcome to Q4B, and thanks for letting me know you’re here.