Adventure: Taking a Giant Leap of Faith

July 20, 2009

When I was in college I did something my father had expressly forbidden: I jumped out of an airplane. Since it was forbidden, I couldn’t very well go to skydiving classes and learn the process a little at a time. So, instead, I did a tandem jump with an instructor, from 15,000 feet.

I remember calling my friend, Melissa, that day and saying, “Don’t tell my parents, but I’m about to go skydiving at Perris airfield… I just wanted someone to know, in case I don’t come back.” In other words, I was well aware of the risk I was taking, but I had to do it anyway. Why? Because the thought of it scared me to death! It was something I felt I needed to conquer, even if it meant breaking the rules.

There are several things I’ll never forget about that day. When I was falling, I didn’t feel like I was falling… I felt like I was flying, just like a bird. The free fall wasn’t as quick or scary as I expected it to be; I really got to enjoy the journey. The moment the chute opened, I thought my arms and legs had been ripped off of my body, because of that stupid harness. I ended up with suspicious looking bruises for a week after that.

But the main thing I won’t forget is that moment, just before taking the step out of the plane. I remember looking over at the pilot and asking him if he wanted to switch places with me. He said, “The only way I’m jumping out of this airplane is if it’s on fire.” No luck. I had to do it. Those last few minutes on the plane felt ETERNAL.

I looked around the cabin of the Cessna 172, thinking about how safe I felt in there. Then I looked at the tiny roads far below me, thinking that if the jump didn’t kill me, it would certainly make me stronger. I heard the countdown… three, two, one, GO!!!

And suddenly…

the fear was gone.

The journey had begun.

I made it past the toughest part, and was simply enjoying the ride.

Last week, for several days, I felt like I did those last few minutes in the plane. We had a BIG decision to make: should Jeff stay in his unfulfilling corporate job for the safety and security of having an income and benefits, or should we leave it behind in search of a more authentic life?

We had been here before. In 2004, he left his job and we went to Costa Rica for a year. But at that time we had a decent amount of money saved up, we sold our house, and we weren’t in a recession… we fully expected to find a job when we came back. Now we have very little in savings, a mortgage on a house we probably can’t sell, and aren’t terribly optimistic about the job market. These variables make it a MUCH scarier decision this time.

But you know what? We’re sick and tired of living on autopilot, just waiting for something to change before things get exciting… waiting to sell the house, or find a job, or waiting for every last duck to be in a row before we start fully living. What if those ducks never get in a row and we are stuck in The Waiting Place forever? We’ve decided to reverse the process: we are going to DO some exciting things, and MAKE change happen.

It’s time to take a leap of faith… to walk away from something known and certain, and towards whatever life has in store for us. We’re stepping onto “the invisible path“. The thing about doing this is you have to have FAITH… you have to BELIEVE everything will turn out fine, even with no concrete proof. You have to be OK with just letting go and letting life happen.

Jeff quit his job!!! This was not easy, particularly since he was  the only source of income and insurance for our family. Shortly after Jeff called me to say it was official, I got to thinking about just how tough that decision had to be for him. I called him back to tell him I was so proud of him for not taking the easy way out. I’m proud of him for daring to take a chance, and wanting to make the most of his life. I’m proud of him because he values life more than money.

I don’t know if you watched the movie (or read the book) Revolutionary Road, but there was a point in that story where the couple was finally so excited about everything because they were walking away from the boring, traditional life they had. They were going to travel, and find themselves. They were renewed as a couple and as individuals… until he was offered more money, and he started to look at things in a more “rational” way. He chose to stay, and she couldn’t take it.

Well, we decided ahead of time that if they offered him more money to stay, he should still walk away. If they tried to entice him with the bonus, he should still walk away. No amount of money is worth wasting your precious few days on this earth just passing the time… wishing the days away, living for weekends and vacations. Now that the decision has been made, the fear is gone. The journey has begun.

So, what now?

Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it? I read about so many people who leave the rat race to pursue their passion, or focus on their own business… but we have neither a passion, nor a business. We just want to live without an itinerary for a while;  see where life takes us.

We are taking a road trip in August. My mom’s family is in upstate New York, near the Adirondacks, so we’ll start in that direction. We want to see the sights along the way, enjoy the detours, and not be in a hurry to reach our destination. From there, we will branch out to Canada, Vermont (home of Ben & Jerry’s!), and anything else that looks interesting.

It’s time to re-invent ourselves and find out what we are made of. Life is too short; we won’t hesitate any more!

I don’t know yet what I want to do about my posting schedule in August… I’m torn between pre-writing posts to keep with my regular schedule, or writing while I’m on my trip, which means I’d post less frequently since I’ll be on the road having adventures. That’s still up for debate, so feel free to voice your opinion on the subject. I thought maybe a Monday (Adventure), Wednesday (Random Topic), Friday (Fellowship) thing might be nice… Thoughts?

Have YOU ever done this? Have you ever taken a huge leap of faith and walked away from a “sure thing”? If so, how did that work out for you? If you haven’t, maybe it’s time you did.

What would YOU choose… your money, or your life?

Thanks!!!

UPDATE (12/5/09): I just wrote a post about The Passion Paradox, and I can no longer advocate quitting a sure thing just to pursue your passion. It isn’t that we regret quitting, but that I don’t believe it is responsible to encourage others to do so.

(Photo Credit)

Related posts:

1. Adventure: How to Get From Fear to Faith
2. Adventure: The Lake Champlain Giant Pumpkin Regatta
3. Faith, Patience, and Your Moment in the Sun

Posted in Spirit of Adventure, anxiety, choices, family, happiness