Letters From Readers: Best Decision or Careless Risk?
July 30, 2009
Dear Lisis,
I have to admit that reading your blog post today, about the start of your adventure, was very emotional for me.
On one hand, I admire the fact that you and your family are leaving the rat race and making the commitment to live simply and in the moment. On the other hand, I have to admit that, as a planner myself, I wonder if you guys could have gone about it differently?
Perhaps you could have saved enough money, and sold your house and car, and all your other belongings? Then you could have bought a small plot of land where you can farm and live on the land. I can only speak for Oregon, but there are quite a few families out in this state who have made themselves self sufficient (plant veggies, have a goat, and chop wood to keep fires going in house during winter).
I just think that in the U.S., land ownership is a large part of how you go about living self sufficiently and simply (I, of course, am being hypothetical since I certainly can’t claim to live that way)… without the stresses of losing your home and living on the street… without the stress of credit histories going kaput.
But then, perhaps that is the whole point. Sometimes you just need to let go of all that stuff and let it happen.
I certainly wish you guys all the best in this ultimate adventure. I think Hunter is very lucky to have such loving wonderful parents. I know that your family is first and, ultimately, they are all that matters.
Life is short and there aren’t many that can say they fully LIVED it.
Here’s to NO REGRETS!
*
(This was my reply):
You know, we did try the more conservative or traditional paths first.
At first, he tried switching from IT to Sales, to see if that made it better.. but it didn’t. Then he thought maybe it was this particular company, so he has been applying to a zillion jobs in a number of cities, for a long time… nothing. Then we tried to sell the house “By Owner” and got nowhere; then we listed it with an agent. We’ve had a few showings, but no offers yet.
When we realized that, because of this economy, we might NOT get an offer and he might NOT find another job that pays what he makes now, we really evaluated our options:
a) Keep going as we are, feeling trapped and miserable, for as long as it takes.
b) Let it all go, and just start over from scratch… whatever that means.
We have too many friends who have chosen the first path, waiting for the house to sell, or a new job to come along, or a promotion or bonus. Some of our friends have to medicate the misery away, just to tolerate their days. Others have been “planning to leave” for, literally, decades. I don’t think they ever will.
I guess they are assuming they have 100 years to live, so what’s a few more spent in misery? I don’t take that for granted. People die “before their time” constantly. We don’t want to waste ANY of our days sitting around waiting for life to begin.
I wish it could’ve worked out more conservatively, like the last time we quit to spend a year in Costa Rica. But maybe this time it is about the Leap of FAITH. Last time didn’t require any faith at all… we had planned for everything. It was really just a long vacation.
This time we are choosing not to be trapped any longer, and instead create a life we can enjoy. We may, in fact, have to grow our own food, or do any number of things to get by.
But, we will be fully living, and no longer merely existing.
To NO REGRETS, indeed! 
*
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions of your own, please share them in the comments, or feel free to email me at: MyQuestForBalance (at) gmail (dot) com.
What about YOU? Are you fully living, or merely existing? Do you think the decision to quit in these trying times is reckless and irresponsible?
Thanks!!!
Related posts:
- Letters from Readers: Remembering Lost Loved Ones
- OCD: The Pendulum of Caution, Risk, and Reasonable Doubt
- Faith, Patience, and Your Moment in the Sun
Posted in Letters From Readers, Life, choices, family, happiness
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Hi Lisis,
The realist (and engineer) in me says that planning is good. That having it all figured out is less stressful. The realist would say “what are you thinking???”.
The older I get, though, the more I’m letting that idealist in me out. The one that says “BE what feels right”. (not always easy for someone like me!) And in that BEing, though, I connect more deeply with me. And that is really beginning to “feel” more right than taking a much more realist approach.
I’ll share a short story. This past spring, I stepped way outside my comfort zone, and gave a very personal talk to about 100 people. The realist in me, again, would have said that this is not a “safe” speech, that I was putting myself way too far out there. Instead of listening to that voice, I listened to the one deep within me. The one that said this was a story so worth telling, even if if felt like I was making a fool of myself. Even if no one “got” it. (and truth is – I wanted to back out of it right up until the moment I got up there). I did it, though, I listened to my heart. And an amazing and wonderful thing happened – people related to it…much more than I thought they would.
It’s not quite on the same scale as what you’re doing, but I think the principle behind here is the same. You are listening to something deep within you that says this is the right thing to do. And if that’s the case, then it IS the right thing for you to do now. Lisis, there will always be people who question whatever we do – especially when we’re daring greatly. It’s those who dare greatly, though, who make those amazing leaps in life. And that’s not to say this is going to be an easy journey (or a hard one, for that matter). Only time will tell.
So, I don’t think it’s reckless at all. And I don’t because I believe very much that this is something you’re doing with a lot of “soul-thought” behind it. You are in the right place, my friend…
Me? I’m “trying” to live fully. And honestly, some days that’s not always happening. I do think I’m getting much better at it, though ( I know I used to only exist). Fully living can mean putting ourselves out there on some “fringe” sometimes…and that’s okay…the “fringe” is a good place to be…
Don’t stop believing in “you” and what this means for your family.
Lance´s last blog ..Less Stuff, More Meaning
You said it all right here.
I spent most of my life trying to be 100% prepared for everything. Of course, you can’t ever really get there, and the more prepared you want to be, the more time you waste before you do what you really want to do. After all these years, I’m only not doing things I don’t feel completely prepared to do, and wonderful things are happening.
I think there is a disproportionate amount of fear about the economy in the US. Good to see you aren’t hysterical too. This is life, it’s a shame to waste it ‘making other plans.’
David Cain´s last blog ..Ethanol Free — 30 Days Without Drugs Update
Whoops, I added an unnecessary “only not” in that first paragraph. Maybe I do need caffeine in my life
David Cain´s last blog ..Ethanol Free — 30 Days Without Drugs Update
GO LISIS! I’m not going to live my life most of the world lives it: in fear of losing their jobs, in fear of their bosses, in fear of dying before they can use their retirement money. Screw fear! Embrace your one life and use it well. I’m behind you all the way.
But if I see even a hint of trouble, I’m donating.
John´s last blog ..What Comic Book Heroes Can Teach You About Life
I meant I’m not going to live my life “the way” most of the world lives it:
It’s much too early, right David?
John´s last blog ..What Comic Book Heroes Can Teach You About Life
Yup, too early for proofreading.
David Cain´s last blog ..Ethanol Free — 30 Days Without Drugs Update
You crazy boys! I log in this morning and find, like, 600 comments… and they are all from you two correcting your typos and under-caffeinated thinking! Are you hinting that I should come over there and serve you coffee myself?
@ David: I love the Lennon reference.
@ John: I’ll be sure and come to you before I start selling blood, or body parts!
@ Lance: You, miraculously, managed to be quite coherent and completely inspired… and all before 6am!
I’m SO impressed that you gave a talk to 100 people! That’s even tougher to do than your triathlon… especially if it was on a personal subject. You are just fearless and unstoppable, my friend.
I definitely have put some “soul-thought” into this… in fact, many sleepless nights of soul-thought. Like with Lisa’s comment yesterday, I was really glad to receive this kind of question from a reader because I don’t want people to think we just arbitrarily decided one day, “Hey! You know what would be fun? To get foreclosed on and go bankrupt… wouldn’t that be great?”
I’ve kind of made it sound like just an adventure in great fun, but the decision was not arrived at recklessly. I do not endorse being irresponsible with your life or the lives of others. But I also feel that wasting your life in misery is completely irresponsible.
SO… I guess each person has to decide if the pain of staying is worse than the pain of going (as one reader pointed out in an earlier comment section).
Thanks for your beautiful (and lucid) comment this morning!
I feel that I am living! My move to Costa Rica has fully changed the way I see my day to day life.
Kudos to you, something great will find its way to you each day…
Jim Gaudet´s last blog ..Ticket Prices in Costa Rica | From the Cops..
Well, you already know that I’m with you 100%. My instinct tells me this is the right thing for you, for Jeff, and for Hunter. And my instinct is almost never wrong, so I’m sure this will go even better than you hope!
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..I Totally Screwed My Karma
Jim, you DEFINITELY are living. In fact, as an interesting case in point, I really don’t know anyone who is living in Costa Rica that is merely existing. Why is that, I wonder? Even if their life is super simple or totally involved, they are still fully present and loving life. That’s why the national motto is Pura Vida (Pure Life). Hmmm… what have they figured out that we haven’t?
Jay, this is really good to know. Are your instincts telling you anything about this week’s lottery numbers? Because the LOA thing did not work out so well for me.
Hi Lisis,
I am going to sound like a broken record but I am going to keep at it because my life is proof that jumping off the cliff without a parachute does work. I have never regretted the decision and my life is totally awesome as a result. The ultimate fruition of that jump came to be yesterday and I am humbled beyond words because it is another proof that following your heart works.
I will say it until I die, you are making the best decision ever and I guess I will have to keep voicing that as you go through this journey. If I could do it, you can too! Not to mention, there are countless others who have done the same. All the accomplishments that we consider significant were achieved by risk takers. I have yet to hear an inspirational story by someone who played it safe.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..The Power of Images
Heya:)
Congratulations and good luck with taking the decision to live life the way YOU want to live it. I guess it’s much harder to do when you have a family already, but maybe on the other hand it may be easier in some ways also, since you have someone by your side who has the same goals as you
Keep Well Lisis!
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..How to get more dates
@ Nadia: I can’t wait to hear about your exciting news that came to pass yesterday! Sounds like another sign that we are both headed in the right direction. When I read your last sentence I was trying to think of someone who played it safe and made a difference… but I can’t think of any.
@ Diggy: That’s an excellent point, that I really hadn’t thought of. I have generally considered it harder to make a decision like this with family in tow, because others (especially my son) will be affected. But, as you said, maybe it’s a little easier having that built in support… as long as the three of us are together, the details of our circumstances are almost irrelevant.
Thanks!
I’m old enough to have been through the 1960’s anti-establishment movement. Countless people walked away from corporate America and cities to live peaceful “on the land”, in small towns, farming or doing their “thing”, some were artists. I see this happening today as well – history repeating itself? – with people just saying ENOUGH to the standardized life and expectations and the whole “package” of what is “normal”. I celebrated for the people in the 60’s (several I knew personally who left and never looked back and are still living happy lives with no regrets!) and I certainly celebrate your decision and wish you a life of YOUR choosing, doing what YOU want!
suzen´s last blog ..Negative Habits that Destroy Relationships & A Tool for Change
Thanks, Suzen! And thank you, especially, for framing “these crazy times” in that context… it gives it kind of a romantic, nostalgic quality, rather than the desperate feeling that seems to be everywhere.
I recently watched “The U.S. vs John Lennon” and got a bit of a feel for what it must’ve been like then. You are so lucky to have experienced it, though it certainly had it’s joys and sorrows, and to now see history trending towards repetition of a significant movement of change. It’s actually kind of exciting, when you think about it… not knowing how this whole thing will turn out.
I think what you’re doing is fabulous. Following your hearts is the best way to go. You’re showing your dear child what it means to live a full life. Not a cookie cutter, in-the-box life that so many people stumble through.
No one really knows how things are going to turn out or where they are going to end up. You are going to end up where ever you need to be because you listened.
I look forward to hearing about this adventure you are going on. You may just give some other person the strength to do the same for themselves.
Jill´s last blog ..Change is hard
Jill, to be honest, that’s EXACTLY what I’m hoping will happen if I become a virtual guinea pig for this experiment. There must be someone else out there who is SOOO close to making a decision like this, but is just a bit unsure about the big what ifs. Maybe by documenting the whole process, it will make someone else’s decision a little easier.
Alternately, if I end up homeless and destitute, they can feel better about staying where they are!
When we follow our hearts, there are times of insecurity. I leaped before looking three years ago. There have been times of doubt, fear, annoyance and worry. This is natural. There are simple techniques to release these. When we follow our higher awareness, rather than the fickle mind, we are stretched and grown, and many of our limiting beliefs are released, and what we experience and learn is of a higher order. Then we realize a certain rightness about living, a flow, a oneness with everything there is. There is no feeling that is more secure than this.
Kaushik´s last blog ..How to Stop Compulsive Thoughts: Letting Go in Four Steps
Lisis,
You go LIVE LIVE LIVE…Life comes but once….and it is meant to be lived and loved. And i cant say how inspired i am by your whole decision.
I know I am living…cause for me..irrespective of the place you live or how you live its finding your “true calling” that makes all the difference. As long as i know..i am doing what i was truly meant to do..i can be happy and i can truly say i am living.
Here’s to you and your new adventures…which you will surely share with us!
Lots and lots of love…
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Everything Happens For The Best….???
I admire your courage in doing this. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith to really keep your spirit alive.
Lena´s last blog ..One Great Blog–A Review
@ Kaushik: Yes, yes, yes!! I love this part.. “Then we realize a certain rightness about living, a flow, a oneness with everything there is. There is no feeling that is more secure than this.”
@ Zeenat: I think it’s wonderful that you have found your true calling, the thing you were meant to do. I always felt I didn’t have a calling, except maybe to be a mom, or a Ben & Jerry’s flavor tester… but this blog is starting to feel a little calling-ish. I’m growing into it, and it’s becoming part of me, and connecting me with all of you. Kinda cool… although I haven’t given up on my flavor tester dreams.
@ Lena: Thank you. That’s precisely what we aim to do here, keep our spirit alive!
How you are going to live makes far more sense than living how most people live. They live in fear, trying to make life secure with a paycheck and insurance and never giving it a thought that they give their own power away to a system that is not trustworthy or reliable anyway.
In this new way of living, you are taking responsibility for yourself, you don’t expect anybody else to provide and the interesting part is that you allow a far bigger and trustworthy network , called the universe, to actually partner you.
I think it is a win/win all round, your decision is a no brainer.
We have detached ourselves as much as we can, growing veggies and working from home building our own love based business and we are healthy, totally in love with every day we live.
BUT there is one thing, the ego who has been the captain for a long time, is not always coperative and can sometimes bring up fear in a way you would not believe. However there are now such good logical explanations for the other way of living that I can quieten the ego down more and more successfully much faster.
wilma ham´s last blog ..How mother and daughter manage the fear driven corporate world.
@ Wilma: One of my favorite zen sayings is: Never underestimate the power of the ego to lead one astray, no matter how far along the spiritual path one has come.
That is a very real issue we’ll have to deal with. Having spent a life as over-achievers and success-seekers, it’s going to take some getting used to when we kindly step down for the treadmill of life and just stop to look around. But deep down, in our hearts, we KNOW what is right and, more importantly, we know the life we do NOT want to be living. So we’ll forge a way that is more authentic for us.
I imagine your business is very love based because you seem like such a warm, caring and compassionate soul. I feel truly blessed whenever you visit.
GO, LISIS … GO …
Whatever preparations you could have make for your life, surprise will always stand there to dispose your plans. So?? Isn’t my favorite, Dostoyevsky right ??… take life as it comes and life lies in the heart not in the brain.
sajal nandy´s last blog ..QUICKPOST: NO SHORTS IN THE MOUNTAIN