Adventure: Is Your Comfort Zone Holding You Back?
August 3, 2009
Most little girls simply adore horses and ponies… I wasn’t one of them. I saw Black Beauty, and I “get” that horses are helpful and majestic creatures. I realize most decent people in the world love horses.
But I don’t.
The only horse I ever adored was the one carrying the Marlboro Man… and that had nothing to do with cigarettes, or horses. Let’s just say, horseback riding is NOT in my comfort zone.
My dad always told me he’d much rather I ride a Harley than a horse, because the Harley doesn’t have a mind of its own. If the horse freaks out, it’ll throw me off in a hurry… which, incidentally, was what happened to Superman. 
Still, when some of my dad’s friends wanted to go ride horses at my cousins’ farm in Costa Rica, I took them… because my dad couldn’t. I just kept reminding myself of what my mom used to tell me when I didn’t want to go to school:
“You don’t have to WANT to do it, you just have to DO IT.”
When we only do things that are already IN our comfort zone, we don’t get to try new things. We don’t get to find out what we are missing out on. We don’t realize that something we always thought we would hate is, actually, pretty great… like Green Eggs & Ham. It is so important to be able to step OUT of our comfort zone and learn to be comfortable THERE… ANYWHERE, so we can grow!
I did it.
I crossed that threshold and left my comfort zone in the dust as I galloped, or rather, the horse galloped across the arid plains. I felt miles away from everything I knew and, as I felt the hot wind brushing against my face, I kept thinking of what my father had said, “The horse has a mind of his own!” It was then that I realized I had no idea how to steer, or stop, the infernal beast that was kidnapping me!
Fortunately, my atrocious riding skills were apparent even at a great distance, so my vaquero cousin gallantly came to my rescue. He chased us down as fast as his horse could ride, galloped up beside me, and managed to stop my horse.
The ride back to the ranch was a bit like those birthday party rides on 200-year-old sedated ponies, guided by their owner who never lets go of the reins.
The Trot of Shame.
It was pitiful, really, by all reasonable accounts. I am definitely better suited to Harleys and airplanes than to playing cowgirl on a ranch. But, you know what? At least I tried. And now I KNOW what I’m missing out on, and I’m OK with that. I didn’t let my fears or insecurities keep me from giving it a shot.
I find myself thinking about that day on the horse because this new adventure feels a little bit like that. It’s nowhere near my comfort zone, and feels a little scary, but I want to try it anyway. Who knows? It could turn out to be the greatest experience ever.
What about YOU?
Are you one to stay safely within your comfort zone? Do you decide if you’ll like something before you’ve even tried it? Are you open-minded enough to try new things, even if you know you might not enjoy them?
In the comments below, please share some new things you might want to try!Thanks!!!
No related posts.
Posted in about me, choices, Life, Spirit of Adventure
content rss
Thinking about stepping out of your comfort zone a situation pops into my mind when you “have to” walk up to a girl you like and you’re young & inexperienced.. you’re afraid to do it.
The quote from your mom isn’t immediately true. You WANT to do it in the beginning, but Mr. Fear talks so much in your pumping mind that if you don’t act fast enough he might even overcome your will.
In these cases, you have to WANT it again, or just remember that you wanted it, but now you have to DO IT, because a little deeper you still want it. You just don’t realize you want it.
Did I mix up things too much hehe?
.-= Zoltán Cserei´s last blog ..Are the little things important? =-.
Lisis,
Growing up, we had a pony. And that little pony managed to throw me off, lay down on me, and kick me (you can stop laughing now!)…
Adventures…something my family and I are very much connected to. Some are unplanned (like the time we were camping in Florida when a hurricane hit) and some are planned (like several days away from everything on a rafting trip in Idaho). And these are what I think of as big adventures. Really, though, adventure can be all around us. So, we’ve had a few “big” adventures over the recent years. And they’ve been great in so many ways – for the sense of adventure, for the memories, and especially for how deeply connecting there are to my soul. Today, as I look forward – and know we’ll plan new “big” adventures…what I also want to put more focus on is the adventure in every day living. Because I believe it’s there – it’s in taking some chances in normal living, taking our dreams and making them real, and truly living.
Lisis, I love how you and your family are so boldly challenging that comfort zone. There may be big adventures and there may be small adventures along the way. And they’re all good…
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
This post is a great reminder to push outside the comfort zone.
We all know that the only way you grow in life is by leaving the comfort zone, but still we opt for security and safety.
Thanks for the motivating post!
.-= Kaizan´s last blog ..How to Eat Less – and Still be Happy =-.
@ Zoltan: Well, darlin’… here’s the thing about walking up to a girl you like: you don’t actually HAVE to do it. You don’t even WANT to do it… you just want the (hopefully positive) result after you do it. That’s definitely a big comfort zone challenge, but I still contend that you have to get out of that comfort zone and take some risks in order to get the results you’re looking for. Don’t let the fear hold you back. Worst case… she says no, and you’re back to where you started (her loss anyway!).
@ Lance: My cat woke me up this morning at an ungodly hour, and one of my first thoughts was, “Hey, maybe I’ll be up earlier than Lance today!” So here I am, and you got here an hour ago! Now I know how it is that you leave such long and thorough comments on so many blogs every day… you never sleep! You’re a vampire! You are everywhere at the same time, at all hours of the day or night.
I cannot believe your pony did all these things to you! I wonder if you still like horses? I guess you can’t blame them all for the delinquencies of one.
You are so right that adventures can be big or small, and really it all comes down to how we view life, the things that happen to us, and the choices we make. Everything can be an adventure if we let it.
@Lisis: no, you’re not back where you started. You’re more. You’ve got a new experience. Your statistics about pick-up lines is refreshed
, etc. 
Anything you do, you either get reward or learn some new experiences. You DO become more.
.-= Zoltán Cserei´s last blog ..Are the little things important? =-.
@ Kaizan: So true… I suppose it would feel safer for a caterpillar to stay tucked inside his cozy cocoon, but then he’d never get to be a butterfly!
@ Zoltan: Good point! As Jason Mraz says, “Win some or LEARN some.” With that great attitude, you won’t have ANY trouble with girls.
Much as a snake only grows by becoming too large for it’s skin and then shedding it, we humans only grow when we explore new experiences. Our current “skin” of experience and philosophy becomes too tight, too restrictive, and so we have to shed them and leave them behind. Only be moving outside of our comfort zone can we grow bigger, stronger, and wiser.
PS – We have horses in Alabama, should you ever want to go riding again.
PSS – I like the “Lance is a vampire theory. That explains so much!
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..One Love (My guest post on Southern Goddess) =-.
@ Jay: Ooooohh… nice analogy. The snake shedding it’s skin is infinitely cooler than the played out butterfly story. Thanks!
PS: Don’t think just ’cause I suck at horse back riding I won’t try it again!
PSS: I know it… I can’t believe I missed the clues about Lance for so long. Sucker!
Zzzzzzzz……(need more coffee!)
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
And…of course if I read a little further along…I’d see ALL the comments (again…my need for more coffee)
Jay and Lisis –> maybe…just maybe…you’ve got me figured out…maybe that’s NOT coffee that I’m drinking…
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
Lol. Oh Lisis, I wish I could’ve seen you on that horse. I bet you were screaming for your life weren’t you
. I’ve been on those sedated ponies when I was like nine. It was just trotting, but I was scared out of my wits.
What I’ve always wanted to do is surf in the ocean. I sometimes picture me under the crest of a wave with the guitar music in the background… but I guess I should learn to swim before I can do that
.-= John´s last blog ..Haven’t You Heard? It’s Good to Fail =-.
Lance is not a vampire. Lance just loves life so much….he just cannot wait to get up and go!
Or he must have some amazing magical coffee that is so good, he just has to get up early to have it! 
Lance, you are awesome! 
Now on to the post…good for you, Lisis, for going beyond your comfort zone. As for me, I am always open to trying new things and new adventures. I think comfort zones are dangerous because they do not promote growth. The path less traveled usually is more fun because you just have no idea what will happen.
.-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Jewel, Dreams, Faith & Me: My Progress Report =-.
@ John: You know, I actually was not screaming or swearing out loud, but you should’ve heard the ruckus inside my head! I was trying to be all brave so I wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s riding experience. But I guess the more experienced riders can tell right away who is in charge, the horse or the rider? I’m sure it was painfully obvious.
I’ve been thinking of learning to surf too. I can swim, but not fantastically well. I can tread water and get from one side of the pool to the other a few times. I guess we both should get a little better at swimming before moving on to surfing. But one day… you, me, & Costa Rican surf instructors. It’s worth a shot!
The comfort zone is such a tricky thing because it can be so isolating if we let it. The thing we have to remember, I think, is that trying new things is not bad and it won’t hurt us and secondly, fear is just a feeling or thoughts…not reality.
It has been said we will most likely regret the things we did NOT do more than the things we DID. So we need to just get out there and do the things we want to do no matter what.
I really want to learn how to surf. It has always been a dream of mine. Now I just need to be near a beach!
Thanks for the post!
Dayne
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..How to Free Yourself From The Inside Out =-.
@ Nadia: I’m sticking with my vampire theory. I think I’ll start checking the time stamps on his comments on different blogs. When I find two or three that were sent at the exact same moment, I’ll have all the proof I need. I’m on to something with this… I can feel it.
I love the way you phrased that, “comfort zones are dangerous because they do not promote growth.” So true. The word “comfort” is a little misleading, because it sounds all safe and cozy. “Comfort” food should really be “insanely fattening and heart-attack inducing” food. And “Comfort” zones should be “insecurity fueled, growth prevention” zones. Minor changes in semantics can make a huge difference in the way we perceive our options.
@ Dayne: Sounds like I need to add you to our Costa Rican surf adventure!
I’ve heard that said before… that we are more likely to regret the things we didn’t do than any of the things we did do, even if we failed at them or didn’t like the results. I’m pretty sure I can confirm that because I’ve made a bunch of bad decisions and failed at a lot of things I tried, but I don’t regret ANY of those things. I do, however, regret the times I have hesitated or talked myself out of something.
It’s official: I no longer trust my “comfort” zone.
Hi Lisis,
How wonderful that you’re going beyond your comfort zone! Maybe it should be called the smothering zone–it’s the thing that keeps us trapped in fear. Still, I’ve found, in my experience, that we never have to go beyond the edge of fear. It’s enough to go right up to the edge, and we that there is nothing to fear, not even fear itself.
Thanks for another illuminating piece!
k
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..Gentle Honesty =-.
I really enjoyed this post. It reminded me of being thrown off a horse and my brother made me get back on it as he lead the horse back to the stable.
He said that if I didn’t get back on I would always be afraid of riding.
Great post! My comfort zone definitely holds me back from experiencing a lot in life and this post has inspired me to break free of that comfort zone and embrace adventure!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..are you living in the future? =-.
If we all loved horses there wouldn’t be enough of them to go around – same with Harley’s, eh? I grew up with horses so they have been a huge part of my life. But it’s the comfort zone issue – and wow, isn’t THAT a biggie! I’ve tried about everything I ever wanted to do, and a lot of things I was talked into trying – after 60 years it’s a lot. No regrets, not much left “undone” either. My latest – and one I’m still working on – is to become with computers, learn what the hell I’m doing here and make it work for me. This may not sound like a big untaking for those of you so used to technology, or born into the information generation – for an oldie but goodie like me this is HUGE.
I believe we were created to evolve – and you don’t evolve by being afraid to try new things.
.-= suzen´s last blog ..The Power of the Circle =-.
The Trot of Shame! That made me laugh out loud.
I’ve really loosened the reigns on my comfort zone, but only in the last year or two. My big upcoming adventure definitely would have been a no-go a couple of years ago. I’d be too worried about getting lonely, running out of money, wanting to go home, not being able to find a job… there would have been too many hangups. But I’ve learned the art of just “walking through the door” even if I don’t know exactly what is going to happen when I do. Not that I ever did know what was going to happen.
.-= David Cain´s last blog ..I Won’t Kill Jake =-.
Oh, Lisis, you are a trip!
I’m with you, I think horses are beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I want to ride them.
How do you think I handle the teasing when I go home to the farm? (My sister has three horses of her own.) I tried to pet one last time I visited, it twitched, and I jumped about two feet off the ground. My husband said, “What was that??? You grew up on a farm, and you’re scared of horses???”
Well, I’m not scared of them, just don’t really like being around them.
I gotta jump in on the surfing thing, too. I’m lucky to have lived by the southern California beach for about 10 years now. I’ve tried surfing, and, like, dudes, it is hard! I have so much more respect for folks who make it look easy. Definitely try it though, it will give you a new appreciation for the power and force the ocean wields.
And…no horses on the beach around here so you are safe.
P.S. Thanks for cluing me in, it makes total sense, Lance is a vampire! A-ha!
Have a great day everyone!
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Writing Right =-.
Hey, everyone! I’m reading your comments and laughing my head off (and learning a lot, too!)
I can’t reply to each person right now because I’m nose-deep in preparations for the road trip this week. But I will come back later tonight, while I’m on vampire vigil, and reply then.
You guys are so funny!
I do find myself shutting out certain activities from time to time. But not because I am afraid of leaving my comfort zone. It’s usually due to the fact that I really enjoy most of my daily activities anyway. I tend to shy away from spreading myself to thin.
.-= Bakari´s last blog ..Nicholas Cage, Predicting the Future and why Problem Solving is not the key to Success =-.
I liked this post Lisis, You might call me fatalist or something, I always get a kick out of trying something new. I used to say there is nothing in this world I won’t try once and even today I am the same.
Hey, “have you done the bungee jump” one of my friends asked, and not yet was my reply, few days later we both did it and behold what an out of the world feeling. I’d do it again anytime.
And talking about horses, I love horses, I think the horse is a beautiful creation of nature, no wonder I love nature. When I started horse riding I was scared of falling off, till I had a fall, and that fear never came back. And yeah on my blog header I have a picture of horses
Take care and cheers, always a pleasure visiting here.
.-= Robin Bal´s last blog ..You Have To Learn To Fail To Win =-.
I laughed out loud quite a few times reading this post – thanks for your lightheartedness! I’d have to put horseback riding in the mix of things out of my comfort zone, too. My boyfriend wants to own horses, though, so I have a feeling I’ll be thinking of you and this post when I’m on my own little adventure in the not-so-distant future.
The idea of falling scares me, but I love the concept of flying — so maybe (MAYBE) someday I’ll try skydiving.
For now, the biggest thing that’s outside my comfort zone is approaching people (i.e., publishers) and asking them to consider publishing the book I’m about to finish. I love it when people find me serendipitously and say, “Hey you’re great and I love your stuff!” But when I have to go out and ask for approval or validation… sigh. I do not enjoy that one bit. Here’s hoping if I do have to stretch in this regard, it comes easily (or at the very least I don’t strain anything!).
Have a great day!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Must Reads: Bloggers I Love =-.
You guys are the best! I’ve had quite a day today, between trip preparations and fighting with the cable company all day just to get the technician out here to cancel my services… ugh!
Your comments have been the highlight of my day today. Whenever I get a moment, I stop in here and see what’s been written, and it just makes me smile.
THANK YOU!!!!
Lisis – Seems I am always one of the last to comment here – problem with being on the West Coast I guess! I laughed at the above comment about fighting with the cable company to get your cable turned off – we just moved and I have been battling to get it on! But it had its upside, as I had a fascinating conversation with the technician they sent out – kind of a real-life guru actually.
Anyway, I think at one point in my life I was actually an un-comfort junkie! Once I got a taste of the freedom of facing fears, I went through a phase where that’s all I did, it seems. And it was great – I scuba-dived (had always had a fear of drowning), and then made myself go on a shark dive (because I’d always had a fear of sharks), and then took up canyoneering (because I’d always had a fear of heights), etc. Eventually, I think I redirected this more into personal/spiritual development – I really have come to view one function of meditation, at least a certain kind of meditation, as an adventure in awareness – exploring new levels of awareness. And then in my personal life, believe it or not marriage and children was a big dis-comfort zone for me (the opposite of many people, I know), because I had always thought I was not cut out for it and would never do it. Never say never!
Now of course, my kids are young, and I am bit more tied down for now. But I also recognize that this is just a phase of their (and my) lives, and a precious phase at that, and recognize that as they get older, there will be more and more adventures we can go on. I look forward to hearing about yours for inspiration! – lisa
.-= Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..June/July Month in Review =-.
Lisa, I kinda like that you get here later in the day… when I’m winding down and settling in, so I can calmly enjoy your comment. Of course that doesn’t apply to THIS one because how can I calmly enjoy the idea of you swimming with sharks, and canyoneering! Sweet Gracious! Boy, when you do adventure, you don’t mess around!
[...] Is your comfort zone holding you back? [...]
[...] a statue of a donkey at the Mexican restaurant. I thought it made a nice addition to my post about my horseback riding misadventures, as it makes me look like the dignified [...]