Are You a Quitter or a Fighter?
August 4, 2009
I would hate to be a plant in my garden. The plants I adopt and bring home get a place to stay, and some water from time to time; but the rest is up to them.
In THIS garden, only the strong can even come close to surviving.
I love gardening, and appreciate plants as much as the next person, maybe more. I know the difference between a gardenia and a camellia, a dahlia and a zinnia, a spruce and a fir. I’m familiar with hardiness zones and which species tend to do well wherever I’m living. I don’t plant a tropical palm in a frozen tundra and expect it to thrive.
I do my part.
I choose a hardy plant, ideal for my planting region, and buy it at the appropriate time. But that’s it… no special soil, no fancy plant food, no covering them when the frost bites. No special favors here. They are plants… they have dirt, air, water, and sun. It’s a photosynthetic paradise out there!
They should do what they were designed to do… GROW! They don’t need ME to do every little thing for them. I’ll pull a weed or two, if I happen to notice it. I may even water, if I happen to remember to (and feel like it).
But I don’t spend excess time or money catering to every last whim of each plant in my garden. It’s tough being a plant here, I’ll grant them that.
I bet my Irises and Azaleas wish they’d been planted somewhere else, where life is easier. I’m sure they would like to have everything handed to them, and every adversity (like pests or frost) dealt with for them, so they could just kick back and soak up the sun.
Well, it doesn’t work that way… not here. Come to think of it, that’s just not how LIFE works. If they want to thrive in this world, they’ve got to DO something about it:
- Bend when the strong winds blow, so they don’t break.
- Stand up to adversity, so they come out of it stronger.
- Make the most of the good times, like rainy seasons, so they can endure the tough times (like droughts).
- Choose to want to live life to the fullest, because no one can do it for them.
- Be deeply rooted and grounded so they have the confidence and strength to stand tall, come what may.
The ones that give up, and don’t want to fight to survive, will fade away… making room for the strong ones. That’s just the way it is.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I am a LOT like the plants in my garden, and so is everybody else. We are all brought into this world and given the basics to survive. It’s what we DO with what we are given that determines the quality of our lives.
I know what I’m going to do… I’m going to FIGHT to live my life to the fullest.
What about YOU? Are you willing to do what it takes? Would YOU survive in my garden? Are you a Quitter, or a Fighter?
Thanks!!!
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i’m a fighter. and a quitter.
i used to be really hard about quitting. you know, good ‘ol american football coachesque type “there are no failures, only quitters!!!”
… but then again, if you’re not quitting, it means you’re not trying lots of new things. messing things up is a good thing every now and then.
and being of the mentality that quitting is bad can really hurt you. cos sometimes it’s a good idea to quit. sure, sometimes it’s just giving up but sometimes that’s the best move.
but i see where you’re coming from.
i guess to me: it’s more about always doing what you want and only stopping something if it’s something you’ve consciously decided. not to ‘give up’ out of laziness or pressure or anything like that. being a fighter.
awwwsomeness. got me thinkang
keep well lee cease
alex – unleash reality
alex – unleash reality´s last blog ..Emotional Sleight of Hand: 5 Practical Tricks to Feel Good Right Now
Good Morning Lisis!!
{coffee-induced caffeine high…} Ah…gardens. Reminds me of a story. Several years ago, my father brought us some rhubarb, and told us that it would grow anywhere, and didn’t need anything…we couldn’t kill it. Guess what…it never survived! My thumbs are apparently not green! That said, our veggie garden is doing well this year…
Would I survive in your garden? It’s a garden much like our world is soil for us to grow in. There are days that I don’t bend so well when the winds of change blow in. There are days that adversity gets the better of me. There are difficult times that challenge my will. Through it all, though, as the human species, I believe deeply that we CAN overcome. Especially when we here stories of others who have overcome so much in life. And so while there are certainly days that challenge my will…for the most part, the true human spirit within all of us, within me – stands tall during the storms of life. And I come out the other side of these – stronger for having “been there”.
Lisis, you are fighting a good fight. You shine in all you do, and being here is like a gentle rain to nourish my soul…followed by warm sunshine to help me grow….
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day
I’m generally a fighter, and I stand tall to my opinions. I am often (too) stubborn even, I stay maybe too close to my decisions. But I’m a fighter.
However, when I realize I’m not right I’m willing to say excuses and ask for forgiveness.
You must be a fighter. You have to fight. Until your aim is true. Whenever you’re not right, you have to quit. And then fight again: fight for good.
Nice post.
Namaste.
Zoltán Cserei´s last blog ..Are the little things important?
Exactly right, Alex! You have to quit a few things in order to try new things. I’m not afraid to say I’m a quitter. But don’t tell my coach, my parents or some of my friends. Some folks don’t understand that concept AT ALL.
Although, it’s easy to talk about not quitting, and quote great people in history (Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep goingâ€) but its much harder when you are up against it!
But like anything, it’s a habit, that you can develop slowly and surely.
Kaizan´s last blog ..How to Eat Less – and Still be Happy
Good morning guys! I debated whether to use the word “quitter” since I’m definitely in favor of quitting some things… like a soul-draining job, or anything you know is leading you down a path you don’t want to be on.
I guess I should clarify that I mean:
ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE UP FIGHTING FOR THE LIFE YOU WANT AND DESERVE?
I’m not. I’m gonna fight for it… and that will mean quitting a whole bunch of wrong things along the way. The trick, as Seth Godin would say, is to learn to recognize when to quit and when to keep trying so you can keep fighting the good fight.
We could learn so much from plants. Looking at the surface of the earth, they are the most successful life forms. They’re everywhere.
And they have all the virtues we strive for: patience, resilience, humility, longevity, tranquility, beauty…
David Cain´s last blog ..I Won’t Kill Jake
@ Lance: I love your rhubarb story… that happens to me all the time. People will give me plants that are sure to thrive just about anywhere. But I guess that means anywhere but under my care. Plants in my garden thrive in spite of me, rather than because of me. I suppose some of us get to take that path in life too, huh?
@ David: So true. They have such a long term view of life, that they don’t seem to fret about the little things of each day.
I’d like to reiterate, though, that applying patience and resilience towards the challenges that get us closer to our goals is a good thing. Patiently withstanding misery, like an abusive relationship or a job that’s killing you, doesn’t help you live life to the fullest.
Is that picture really from your garden. It’s pretty. I tried the same survival-of-the-fittest method with the flowers at our house years ago. And guess what? None survived.
Well only the that come in the spring survive anyway. But the tulips? ha ha, EXTINCT.
It should be pretty obvious that I’m a fighter by now. I FIGHT to get up in the morning (it’s 7 AM right now), I FIGHT to write comments on blogs that I like, and I FIGHT the urge to pass out on the keyboard within a few hours online.
If anyone can wake up early just to write, those guys are fighters. WE are fighters.
John´s last blog ..Haven’t You Heard? It’s Good to Fail
Hello! I do believe I would survive in your garden, but if I could not, I would know enough to uproot myself and move to friendlier ground lol.
Great use of metaphor here to show a good point.
Karen
I’m glad Alex and Jeff had the courage to state those opinions first, cause I might not have been brave enough to do so otherwise. And I’m really glad you clarified things a bit in your reply to them, Lisis. That makes me feel a lot better, too.
For me, there are certain things that are worth fighting for, and a whole LOT of things that just aren’t. Love, family, friends, core values, the life I want to lead – these are things worth digging in your heels and fighting for. Other things, meh, not so much. I have a very strong “Don’t sweat the small stuff” vibe, and I love living according to that philosophy.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..One Love (My guest post on Southern Goddess)
@ John: That flower is, in fact, from my garden. It actually survived me uprooting it from its natural habitat and planting it right outside my window for my own feeble amusement. That one is definitely a fighter… just like you.
@ Karen: I’m with you, hon… I probably COULD survive, but I’d move just on principle. Who needs this kind of grief, huh?
@ Jay: I am also glad they brought up the issue of when it IS appropriate to quit. I should’ve followed my gut and made that clearer in the post. But then, I guess there has to be a reward for those few brave souls who make it all the way to the comments… (pssst, here’s the secret… you really DO get to quit sometimes!).
Definitely find what YOU value and consider worth fighting for. The rest can fade away with the seasons.
Hi Lisis,
Well…hmmm….like Jeff said sometimes you have to quit certain things in life and sometimes you have to fight. So I would go and say that I am a survivor. Whatever life has thrown at me, I found a way to deal with it. I think that is what plants do. Some just do what they can to survive and some just cannot handle certain conditions. That said, you have to give your all to get the life that you want so I would say that I am a survivor who fights when I have to…does that work?
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Jewel, Dreams, Faith & Me: My Progress Report
This is a good analogy. Yes, in many ways we must be like the plant who bends with the wind and who provides beauty and nourishment for the world. I am neither a fighter nor a quitter. I don’t look at this journey in those terms. I am here for a purpose and if this part of my journey ends today I am okay with that for I know that there is more yet to come, just in a different form.
Mark´s last blog ..Knowing What We Don’t Want to Know
Like my good friend Kenny Rogers told me one time: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.”
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..One Love (My guest post on Southern Goddess)
I like to think I’m wise enough to fight when the fight is right, and to quit when quitting is the correct move, and moving on to newer, more important things. Sometimes the best way to win the fight, is to step out of it and quit. It’s all objective.
I really love your article, this was a great read! Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..Kill Your Pessimism, Change Your Life
Hey, guys! Once again… reading your awesome comments, in between trip preparations. Today we’re taking one of our cats to stay with Jeff’s mom, in Alabama, while we’re gone. (He may come back with a Southern drawl!) Anyway, just wanted to let you know because I’ll be a little absent during the day, but I’ll check comments when I get back.
Another thing I wanted to mention, since we’ve gone the route of knowing when to quit and when to try harder, is Seth Godin’s book, The Dip. If you’ve never read it, I HIGHLY recommend it for just about anyone because it applies in blogging, in business, and in life… how to recognize when the dip is just a test of your determination or a sign that you should bail.
I’ll be back in a while, after a big Southern meal and some of Mrs. Belle’s sweet tea (that’s actually her name, too!).
Oh Lisis this is a wonderful blog! Survival of the fittest? Knowing when to fight or fold? Perhaps the biggest struggles we have are when we pull up our own “roots” and move to where we KNOW the sun and rain will nourish us. Sure it’s difficult – I’ve transplanted plants, hoping I had enough of it in hand to allow it to grow elsewhere, knocking off the “attachment” of soil around the roots from its old location so it can breathe in the new soil nutrients elsewhere.
I’ve had the motto “Bloom where you are planted.” roaming thru my head – I am sure you will!
suzen´s last blog ..The Power of the Circle
“Would I survive in your garden?”
I’ve actually been thinking about that for longer than I had intended…
Well, sometimes I do want to give up and just fade away. But, maybe that’s just about the time when you’d come over and sprinkle me with a touch of water and I’d spring back to life?
Yeah, I think I’d thrive in your garden. I mean, c’mon, look at all the beautiful neighbors I’d get to hang around with. Kinda like your blog, eh?
@Jay: I loved the Kenny Rogers quote. You hit the nail on the head (and made my toe tap).
“There will be time enough for countin’, when the dealin’s done.”
Lori´s last blog ..Fine as a Frog’s Hair
Hmm,lf I was a plant with reasoning ability then I’m pretty sure I’d be famous or take over the world. I’d probably try to evolve, to get wings or feet, and move to my ideal location why I belong:)
hehe
I like what you’re trying to bring across and I’d say I’m definitely a fighter.
Just remember, something my parents always told me, when you cannot be strong, be smart.
There is no point in fighting something that is so much bigger and stronger than you, instead, try and find a way to outsmart it or even turn it into your ally
Great post lisis!
Thanks!
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..Get Rich – How anyone can do it, but not everyone will
I’d like to think of myself as a fighter, surviving or being in the eye of the storm but handling it with cool composure so as not to hurt myself. I don’t usually believe in quitting…i mean that word somehow gives me negative vibes, but yes i do know when to quit the wrongs in my life. We do have much to learn from plants and other living beings. Survival of the fittest doesn’t just imply to the plants ..now does it!!
ohh and I would surely love to be a flower in your garden though…..what fun to see Lisis being Lisis
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Expectations or Contentment???
I think plants have one advantage over me and that is that they have a mind that serves them. I have a mind that creates a muddle and is never consistent. It choses to fight one day and to quit the next.
How I am learning to make the most of my life and catch the invisible flow that I am part of, is by strengthen the heart and taming the mind.
I would love to hear what plants have to say at morning tea, I think they will sound a lot wiser than what would come out of my mouth.
wilma ham´s last blog ..How I dare to ignore the recession.
Hi Lisis,
Very thought-provoking article…For me, these days, quitting or fighting doesn’t come up. There is a flow to life that I am learning to trust. Sometimes quitting something is part of the flow, sometimes fighting harder is. There’s no resistance.
k
Kaushik´s last blog ..A Gentle Honesty
Hey, everyone! I’m back from a successful cat drop-off at my mother in law’s house. Now I just have about twelve zillion and three little things to get done before we start our trip… tomorrow!
I’ve read all the comments and love every single one. You guys are the best… “bloom where you are planted,” “when you can’t be strong, be smart,” “what plants have to say at morning tea…”
WOW! What amazing conversation ensues in a “room” filled with writers, readers, and thoughtful souls. One of these days, I need to throw an international cocktail party and you’re all invited.
I used to be totally Darwinian with my gardening as well. If it needed extra watering then it wasn’t right for my microclimate.
I’m that way with my goals too. If an action doesn’t naturally fit into my life I won’t do it because it’s not a part of who I am. It makes following my dreams much easier and with a lot less internal conflict.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog ..August is Happiness Happens Month: Win a Book!
Great post as always.
I’m a fighter, I’ve been fighting from birth, I was born two months premie, and my chances at survival were not good…so I know no other way. I’m still fighting, now against injustices and being a voice for the voiceless with my company and personally.
Gratitude for you,
Bambi
Bambi´s last blog ..AltUse – Less Can Truly Be More
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