Extreme Sailing: The Joys of Learning by Experience

August 14, 2009

Note: This is a guest post by Q4B reader Wilma Ham of Wilma’s Blog.

This year John was determined to dedicate OUR December holiday on an ocean voyage to further MY education about sailing and boats for our lifestyle-sailing project.

No problemo I thought, I have seen pictures of beautiful manicured women sipping from wine glasses. They lounged comfortably on the back deck in full sunshine on a boat brimming with the latest technology. I also found out where they did it:  the tropical Virgin Islands. Just short of having my hair and nails done, I was ready!

But it all turned out a bit different, and having safely returned from an astounding voyage, I am dying to share my learnings.

I should have renegotiated or at least wised up when John showed me a picture of the boat. I think our maritime museum would have been jealous to own such an antique. All ropes, sails, and a terribly exposed but cute steering wheel. The whole scene looked picturesque at first glance, even if I didn’t detect deck chairs or shining chrome technology.

First learning: When it comes to boats, don’t fall for picturesque antiques. BIG mistake.

The next clue was the mad shopping dash we did on the day before we flew out! He went for safety harnesses, woollen hats, heavy wet-weather sailing coats, rubber boots with non-slip soles, heavy plastic trousers?! I must have been in lala land not to stop this educational trip at once! My shopping list had none of John’s items; it had suntan lotion, swimming togs, shorts, skimpy tops, and after-sun lotions.

Second learning: Start smelling a rat if your shopping list is vastly different from his!

Third and fourth learning: Check the geographic details of where you are going to sail and the crew you are going to sail with.

Blinded by my vision of Virgin Islands sailing, combined with my Northern hemisphere connotation with the word Southern being warm, I assumed Australia’s Southern Ocean to be tropical waters. Besides, it never occurred to me that anyone would go sailing in non-tropical waters by choice. BIG mistake again, MEN do!

We did not go sailing in tropical waters; Southern Ocean is close to the Antarctic! Of course men like to sail on a museum piece that requires you to steer exposed in cold weather. Men enjoy pulling on impossible ropes to move gigantic heavy sails on an out-of-control moving deck.They don’t want 21^st century technology, winches, or push-buttons in a cosy central heated pilot house. They are MEN, conquering the elements and the ropes that always got tangled up in their tackle and blocks and wanting to risk their lives on a bucking boat with slippery decks.

Fifth learning: Leave feminism at home. You cannot do everything a man does on an antique boat; don’t even try, and be okay about that.

I was frightened to death on that wobbly ship with no handholds to allow elegant strides on the deck. Most of the time you flew all over the place; I the have bruises to prove it. I have been seen to crawl on all fours to get from the wheel to the hatch of the sleeping quarters after my watch to prevent being flung overboard. So I stayed put in my bunk as much as I could and let the boys perform acts of bravery. That I was seasick didn’t help my level of performance either. I thought reaching the deck and the railing on time was brave enough.

Sixth learning: Keep smiling and your sense of humor; it will all pass and then you will have stories to tell in which you are the hero.

So for 17 days I was marooned on that replica of a 100 year old pilot cutter and learning fast how to apply all that spiritual stuff I have learned over the years. What a special but totally unexpected learning by experience that was! Boy, did I apply living in the now, coming from love, aand loving your choices as if my life depended on it.

Because I was on that boat and nowhere else and I had better make the most of it. And without making it a drama in my head, it didn’t become a drama in reality either. I learned that wisdom worked! I wasn’t forced onto that boat; I chose to do this. No blaming the boat, John, or myself. I chose this adventure and my mindset was to love it as it happened, whatever happened. Ha, I did get peace of mind. I could actually relax in my bunk, riding out my seasickness and accepting things rather than feeling sorry for myself or that something was wrong.

Seventh learning: Despite all of the above, I have learned that saying yes to adventures is the best thing you can do with your life; otherwise you miss out on having great experiences.

I am a hardened ocean sailor now, having had a unique and unparalleled 17 days, and I can claim being wise to boot.

Have you had an “experience of a lifetime” that you learned a lot from? What lessons can you share?

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Posted in Fellowship Fridays, Spirit of Adventure