Net Worth vs. Self Worth: The Passion Paradox
December 4, 2009
There is a current trend in society (at least in the States) that I find misleading and dangerous. You have probably seen more than a few people preaching The “Freedom” Gospel, encouraging others to leave their “boring” jobs with the assurance that financial success is a natural result of following your passion.
[Warning: This is a LONG post. You may want to print it, or bookmark it, so you can read it when you have more time. Or, you may want to skip it altogether. It's more of a rant, really.]
I wrote an article a while back called, Why “Follow Your Passion” is Not For Everyone, in which I discussed the fact that many people don’t have a single, identifiable passion to build their whole lives around. But today I want to talk about those who DO have a passion… something they love SO much they would do it for free.
If you are one of those people, then you are the primary target for the Snake Oil peddlers of this current trend. (The snake oil link is a brilliant, humorous example by a fellow blogger… and NO, it isn’t spam, and I don’t make money if you click the link.)
They KNOW you don’t love your job. They know there is something else you wish you could spend all your time doing, if only you could afford it. They know this economy means you aren’t as financially secure as you once thought you were, and that you could lose your job any day. They know you are looking for answers, and DESPERATELY want a great solution to fall into your lap.
“Do what you love, and the money will follow.” (PS: For a small fee, and if you buy my book, I’ll show you how I did it.)
“When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.” (PS: I make more in a 4-hour work week than you make all year.)
“Lots of people do it. Lots of people succeed… they make a great living doing something they love, and never have to work a regular job again. Why can’t YOU? What are you waiting for?
You are smart, talented, passionate… all you need is a little direction (which I can provide, for a reasonable fee.) Let me show you the way to untold treasures, endless bounties, and fulfillment you never thought possible. Find what you love, throw yourself into it, and you will soon be a success story, like me.”
Sounds great, right? A little TOO good, maybe?
It sounds a bit like the previous batch of Snake Oil: fat-burning pills. “You weigh 300 pounds and want to look like a super-model? No problem. For $100 per month, these pills will get you there.” (Tiny print disclaimer: assuming you cut out all fatty foods and exercise vigorously 6 to 10 hours a day for the rest of your life.)
Now they know we aren’t buying those pills, partly because we know the pills don’t work, but mostly because we can’t afford to buy anything these days. Our poverty and desperation is their opportunity. “So, you want to spend your days doing what you love while accumulating lots of money? My book will show you how.” (Tiny print disclaimer: provided what you love doing is finding ways to accumulate lots of money.)
The Misleading Part
The broken logic here is that passion and money are somehow intrinsically related. Just because you are passionate about petunias to the point of obsession does NOT mean you will make more money for it. You make more money when you focus on making money (business acumen), not when you focus on your passion for petunias. If you find a way to make lots of money while working with petunias, you are a clever business person… or really lucky.
But you didn’t just love petunias so much that money fell into your lap, you worked HARD to make money. When you focus on the money, pursuing your passion MAY follow. Or, you can spend your time and energy finding ways to make your passion profitable. Either way, the focus is on MAKING MONEY, not your love of petunias.
Every artist is passionate about their craft, yet most of them are “starving”… they are so focused on their passion they neglect to turn it into a business. Teachers are often SUPER passionate, and super broke. They are selling brownies just to buy books for their classrooms. The passion comes naturally; the business acumen, technical skills, and compromises required to make money… those are what you have to DO, what you have to focus on to profit from your passion… if that’s what you want.
Following your passion does not necessarily result in financial success.
The Dangerous Part
So, what is so dangerous about random strangers motivating us to find ways to make a living doing what we love? Well, now we have people who left traditional jobs, worked REALLY hard to become successful, enjoy what they do, and preach from the mountain tops: “YOU can do it, too!”
And many of us do… sort of. We try, kind of, although we’re not exactly sure how to get from here to there. We don’t quite make it and are left feeling like, if we haven’t figured out how to cash in on our passion, it’s because we didn’t work hard enough, or have enough faith, or truly know what our passion was to begin with. In other words, in their unspoken words: “You COULD have a great life, like me, if you weren’t such a failure.”
Now, the guy who tried to make a living selling turkey feather crafts has to go back to work… to his old, boring, unfulfilling desk job, as a manager in a corporation, making twice what his family needs to survive. In THIS economy, the guy should be a huge success story. But he feels like a failure, a sell-out, the one person who didn’t have what it takes to make it work.
He worked his whole life to get to this perfectly respectable job, and feels like a failure because he has to do his hobby on the weekends? What is up with that? I know my dad, and his dad, and his dad worked all kinds of jobs to provide for their families. Some were horrible, so they got out of them as soon as possible.
Others were not great, but not bad… and they paid the bills. So they didn’t just stay in them, they DEDICATED themselves to doing the best job they could do. They took pride in the quality of their work, and the fruits of their labor. They found joy in knowing their family was healthy, happy, safe, and provided for. THAT was fulfilling, and admirable.
Now the ones who still have that job they worked so hard to get feel bad about themselves, while another whole batch of providers are walking away from their careers in pursuit of a lifetime of care-free self-indulgence. Are we really calling this progress? A step in the right direction? The Passion Paradox is this…
The pursuit of our passion, for profit, is making us miserable
Instead, we should bring our passion into anything we do, with no expectation of profit. We may not ever be rich, but we will be able to pay our bills, provide for others, and be happier than we are today, since we currently spend our time wishing our lives were something other than what they are. What gives our life purpose (self worth) does not necessarily need to be profitable (net worth).
Sometimes it happens that a person’s passions also pay their bills, but those results are not typical. I don’t think I like the way the rest of us are starting to feel about the more traditional path: work to pay the bills, and to have the freedom to pursue our passions in our spare time.
I’m sure many of you disagree. Or maybe you feel I’m advocating mediocrity or settling for less than what is possible. I just think Socrates had it right when he said, “Contentment is natural wealth. Luxury is artificial poverty.” There’s nothing wrong with choosing to be happy where you are right now.
Do what you love, and love what you do (whatever it is). Whether you get paid for sharing your passion with the world, or not, is not relevant. When you bring love and passion into everything you do, you will be happier, and others around you will benefit from your happiness as well.
What do YOU think?
I am guessing many people would disagree… let’s talk. Enlighten me.
If you’d rather respond on your blog, I will gladly add the link to it here:
1. Dave, from Website in a Weekend, thinks that passion is not enough. He’ll also teach you how to blog.
2. Steven, from Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life, wrote an awesome response.
3. Jonny, from The Life Thing, makes a compelling case for giving it your best shot, despite the risks.
4. The Deep Friar adds a unique, humorous angle to this troubling trend.
5. Srinivas, from The Skool of Life, was inspired to highlight the importance of unleashing your authentic self.
6. Sherry, from Serene Journey, reminds us there are no shortcuts to success.
7. David, from Raptitude, posted a brilliant, must-read response suggesting a practical mindset is needed to find a balance between passion and profit.
8. Steven, from Human Explosion, makes a case for self-discipline as the key to success.
9. Eric, from Eden Journal, shares a beautiful story of how to make ANY job rewarding.
10. Patty, from Why Not Start Now?, eloquently describes the two-sided toxic relationship between those selling the lies and those so desperate to believe them, they willingly sign up to buy.
11. Lori, from Jane Be Nimble, shows us two practical examples from her own life, in which she successfully combines passion and profit.
12. Ian, from Quantum Learning, reminds us that living healthy, following our passion, and being compassionate may not yield the results we dream of, but we should do them anyway.
13. Darren, from ProBlogger, cautions us strongly against falling for “get rich quick” blogging advice, urging us to find ways to be useful and original instead.
14. Kelly, from Cleavage, posted an awesome interview with Chris Guillebeau on How To Get a Book Deal. His answer to the Bonus Bonus Question gets right to the heart of things.
15. Coach Rosie has thoroughly answered the question: How do we distinguish between legitimate coaches (valuable resources) and snake oil salesmen (unscrupulous thieves)?
16. Miche, from Serenity Hacker, wonders: Is Passion Necessary for a Meaningful Life? (And, by the way, what IS passion?)
17. John, from A Cry For Help, reminds us that passion makes the hard stuff kind of fun.
18. Sometimes what it takes to turn your passion into profit is BEING A MAN …even if you have to pretend!!!
19. Sami, from Life, Laughs & Lemmings, is testing her own formula for combining passion and success.
20. Christopher, from Growth-Oriented Fellow, clarifies the relationship between passion and profit, while reminding us to be respectful of each other no matter what we choose to do.
21. Nadia, from Happy Lotus, reminds us to examine how much money we actually need to be happy.
22. Man vs. Debt featured a brief, but brilliant, interview with Gary V. that covers passion burnout, and pursuing your passion with vigor but not recklessness. (Best interview I’ve seen in a while.)
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Oh, I think Lori TOTALLY deserves a Q4B web badge! Being the first 100th comment on Q4B surely deserves SOME kind of recognition!
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Paying It Forward
Yay for Lori!!!!!! (Picture confetti, and streamers, and balloons dropping from the ceiling.)
Lori, you’ve won yourself a lovely vacation in a quaint village of central Vermont! (Transportation not included.) You can claim your prize any time of year, although I highly recommend Fall or Snow season… both are magical.
Your vacation comes with all expenses paid (provided you don’t actually want to DO anything that costs money), a personal maid, chef, and adventure tour guide.
Congratulations!!! And thank you for being my first Muse and my first 100th commenter!!!!
Oh, oh, goodie!!
I’m coming to VT as soon as I can travel that far!
Keep the hot cocoa warm, baby, and prepare for me to make a kick-ass snowoman for you!!
I’m buying the Ben&Jerry’s for you, Hunter, and Jeff!, too!
This was fun, Lisis, thanks!
BTW: I agree with your response to @JoshHanagarne. Well, said, both of you.
Have a splendid day, Lisis!
Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Of Bands, Explosions, and Cattle Auctions—Laughter with Jay Schryer
[...] some of you may have noticed, my last post, Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox, set off a bit of an avalanche of much needed conversation around the topic of “do what you [...]
I want to share an impassioned thought I had when reading many of the posts, but particularly Erin’s:
“…when did work become a bad thing? I mean, if your work is selling drugs to kids on the playground, that’s a bad thing. If your work is moving reports from one cubicle to another, that may not be tons of fun, but it’s not a bad thing.”
I think it’s important to note that “moving reports from one cubicle to another” can be just as heinous as pushing drugs on children. While I see a lot of good critical thinking about the “do what you love” maxim in these posts, I don’t see deep thinking about the nature of our “traditional” jobs. I believe that, regardless of how happy we are at our jobs, it is absolutely necessary to ask the question: IS my job a bad thing for anyone? Does my job support, for instance, child labour in other countries? Am I contributing to social or environmental harm by filing reports? To me, finding passion in a job isn’t wholly good if that job is making anyone–in this country or in any other–suffer.
This does not mean that I advocate leaving your job if you find that it does harm someone somewhere along the way. That could be a solution, but so too could working hard to change your organization so that it does not harm anyone. In any case, I just want to urge everyone to ASK the question, to follow up on it, and to do something about any wrongs you find. I am all for finding contentment and passion in your everyday life, supporting your family and friends, and working hard, but in my mind, good work must be good for everyone; it must not oppress or exploit.
Much thinking has been provoked by this blog, Lisis. Thanks to you and to all commentators for your passion–it has helped awaken my own!
Hi, Jaimie! I definitely agree with you on the issue of “right livelihood”. There is a great difference between moving reports around a non-profit company that aims to feed the children, and working in a cubicle of a company that uses children in sweatshops. There are also lots of shades of gray in between, but we’ll stick with extremes for the sake of simplicity.
My personal belief is that if you HATE you job (it is draining your soul and making for a joyless or super stressful existence), you should leave it. I also believe if you work for a company that is contributing to social or environmental harm, or stands for something reprehensible, you should leave it.
If it is a decent, ethical, socially responsible company, and your work and peers aren’t draining your vital essence, then there’s nothing really wrong with hard work that may also be boring or unfulfilling. While you need that job, do it well and find ways to make it better for yourself and those around you. Continue to pursue your passions with whatever strength, energy, time and resources you can afford. If you manage to make your passion into a viable business, then transition from one to the other (this was the approach Leo, from Zen Habits, took).
Either way, it calls for fully understanding yourself, your work, your goals, your skills and limitations, your freedoms and responsibilities, and making a conscious effort to exercise mindful decisions that are responsible, not only to you personally, but to those you care about, and to society at large.
I appreciate you adding this greater dimension to the issue of finding our life’s work.
Thanks!!
[...] posed this question to myself for the past week, since Lisis’s post Networth vs.Selfworth: The Passion Paradox at her blog QuestforBalance. There’s been a slew of great posts this week in response, all of [...]
Lisis, your article wasn’t that long, but I gave up on the comments!
As I said in response to your comment on my blog, I think to a great extent one can escape the rat race in a traditional job.
I totally agree with you that just doing what you love won’t necessarily bring money. Often it will bring absolutely zero, zilch, nada in monetary compensation.
The approach I find most inspiring is that taught by people like Jonathan Fields and Career Renegade. He doesn’t think that just doing what you love brings money. He challenges you to find ways to make money doing what you love. Those two approaches are very different. I think Jonathan is right, but I also think that it is a difficult proposition that most people won’t succeed at.
The problem with all of this is that your average Joe is never going to be able to accomplish the best of all worlds. Some people can and I hope that some of us inspire people to do that.
But there is nothing wrong with taking the traditional job and making the best of it. By changing your perspective and your approach you can bring something to almost any job. Remember my Fred the postman article? He made delivering mail extraordinary.
Having said all that, if you are willing to get really creative (the Career Renegade approach), I think talented people can find their way to making a good living (maybe not getting rich) doing something they love. But it is NOT the case where you just start doing what you love and the money flows. It’s not that simple. It’s hard. There is no free lunch. You pay a price for everything and it’s time people accept those prices.
There is a lot of BS on the Internet. Any get-rich-quick-something-for-nothing is always going to be a pile of crap.
This is a fantastic conversation. Thanks!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..The Investment Banker and The Mexican Fisherman
Hey, Stephen! Yeah, I *thought* my post was long-ish, until I started reading the comments and the responses on other blogs! It has been quite a learning experience!
I’m so glad you brought up Fred the postman, because yesterday we were out chatting with our postman. I live in a tiny village, so our guy still walks the streets (even in Vermont snow!), and goes house to house. He is SUPER pleasant, full of life and joy. When he’s not delivering mail, he’s doing stuff like collecting food for homeless people to have Thanksgiving, and things like that. There are write ups about him in the local paper from time to time, when he is working on one of his pet projects.
Is this guy passionate about sorting mail and putting it in mailboxes? Likely not. But he is passionate about life, connecting with people, and making a difference. He makes the most of his job, walking around town, getting to know everyone, and inspires them to give a little of themselves, and to find the joy in their own lives.
Just like Fred, he takes an ordinary task and makes it extraordinary.
I am not one of those people that will ever be inspired by the challenge of finding ways to make money (or finding ways to build muscle, for that matter!). I know who I am, and those things just don’t appeal to me. But I am extremely inspired by ordinary people doing extraordinary things (like Greg Mortensen, in Three Cups of Tea). It’s not ABOUT getting rich. It’s about living a life with meaning and purpose. Something you know all too well.
Thanks for adding to this convo, my friend!
Lisis,
I can’t agree with you more. Snake oil. I also agree with Jay, Lori and Hayden. I’m glad we all have our heads together over here!
Oh and those meta coaches aren’t coaching they’re selling snake oil as well! Now I’ll go put my credit card back in my purse!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Las Vegas Rock n Roll Marathon Finishers
Wait… what in the world is a “meta coach”? I SO need to get with the program, Tess. I don’t have any clue what that means! No wonder I keep falling for this crap; all they’ve gotta do is change the name!
Lisis,
Great post. Glad I found it. As a “seeker” of my own passions, I have finally figured out that it’s not so much what you do in life, it’s how you do what you do in your life that matters. I have found that passion is an approach to life…a mindset of being appreciative for all that you have been given, of living in awe and gratitude of all that you are and all that you have to offer.
I am at a level where I seek nothing more than to live each day with passion and gratitude. For me, there is nothing else to strive for.
Thanks for sharing your awesome gift with the world!
[...] like to take a moment to thank everyone who contributed to the Passion Paradox conversation this past week. I received so many comments, emails, tweets, and response posts about [...]
Peter, that is beautiful… you are a wise (and fortunate) man when you have come to realize there is nothing to strive for. There are a few things we must DO each day, and there are lots of things we can choose to enjoy each day. But striving, wanting, trying and longing are all just imaginary states of suffering… of feeling like what we have is not enough.
For a long time I publishes a series on Mondays called “Spirit of Adventure” in order to start the week off with a bit of a pep talk, and encouragement to find joy and adventure even in ordinary things, not just while climbing mountains or risking life and limb. It sounds much like your definition of passion (which I love, btw): “an approach to life…a mindset of being appreciative for all that you have been given, of living in awe and gratitude of all that you are and all that you have to offer.”
Thanks!
Hi Lisis. I thought I’d add one more note to this post if you don’t mind. It’s the last part of my own last blog, hence the “dotted lead in”.
WHAT I BELIEVE ABOUT PASSION
……….This brings us to what I believe about real passion. Real passion is a stunning and magical thing that literally makes dreams real. Real passion is a gigantic power at your center and mine that drives us to be ourselves. True passion is strong enough keep you and I trucking ‘til we find a way to make a living being ourselves. It’s this kind of strength of “Cosmic Will†that has put men on the moon and invented lightbulbs.
Authentic Passion has enough strength to get to the top of Everest and Make Abraham Lincoln president after failing dozens of times to be elected to office. If your passion doesn’t feel like a bulldozer at your back then, maybe it’s not your real passion. Passion is big and strong for a reason too.
THE WAY AHEAD IS TOUGH
Make no mistake. Finding a way to make a living being ourselves (living our passion) is not easy. In fact, it’s not supposed to be. It’s tough so we struggle and stretch and try and claim failure as true success. It has to be hard to exercise our own unique skills and talents to make them grow. Do you think weight lifters would get stronger if weights weren’t tough to lift? Would marathon runners get more fit if training for the long run didn’t push their lungs and legs hard? Even mathematicians must struggle for years to learn their craft to prepare themselves for their own creative work. Same holds with growing the unique person that is you or I. Our passions come with tough assignments and even parts we don’t really enjoy. Why is that?
Because we’re all multi-faceted human beings. Nobody is a one note song or flower with a single petal. Yes your aim in life may be in one direction…..like becoming a writer or fireman. But the person you are and can be is much more like an amazing quilt of many colors, aligned with a single purpose. To perfect this fabulous creation then, writers may have to learn computer skills, editing skills, marketing skills and other things less fun than banging out words. Firemen don’t just heroically enter buildings and save people either. They have to bone up on medical lessons and read scientific books on how fire behaves.
PASSION TURNS “TOUGH” INTO “CHALLENGEâ€
Real passion makes the mountain ahead a challenge rather than a daunting nightmare. It makes the hard stuff a kind of fun. Why? Because the mountain challenges us to grow. With every tough step in the long climb ahead….comes more growth. Imagine climbing a ladder and getting a delicious treat at every new rung. It’s something like that, except each hard obstacle overcome pursuing our passion in life treats us to becoming a more mature human being. This makes the way up a real adventure, because the very purpose of passion is growth. The difficult struggle to become all we can become is “pain with a purposeâ€. It’s hard work done to create ourselves. If obstacles feel like punishment to you then, perhaps you’re going the wrong way.
YOU CAN’T FAIL BY FOLLOWING YOUR PASSION
If you know your passion, but despair of ever “making a living at itâ€â€¦.don’t give up. Surround yourself with like-minded people trying to grow up. Seek encouragement from those who have went before you. Be inspired by men and women of every Age who have stuck it out until they’ve found their place in the sun. There’s something encouraging about true passion as well. You can’t fail by following it. Here’s what I mean. Say you know you’re an “Elvis on velvet†painter at heart. You quit your job in a retail store to paint Elvis but can’t support yourself. Reluctantly you get another job. Did you fail?
No. You tried something, and….hopefully….learned from it. Now what? Try something else. How about “Elvis house partiesâ€. Maybe you can become the “Mary Kay of velvet paintingsâ€. And? Flops big time. Alright, so perhaps this time you research on the net and find communities interested in Elvis. You try to build a little business speaking to small groups about Elvis and selling paintings from the back of the room. Works a bit. But not enough to support you full-time. But your little bit of progress is encouraging, so you keep on exploring and failing and trying. Your passion keeps on pushing you. And, eventually something good will become of it. Like what? Nobody will know until you make it happen. But don’t forget. Every single step of the way you are….. being yourself. It is not possible to fail by growing more human. The only way you can fail is by not trying.
Ciao Lisis. John Duffield
John Duffield´s last blog ..What I Believe About Passion
John, I love it… and I loved that whole post. I responded to it on your blog, so I won’t repeat myself here. But I wanted to thank you for adding this awesome response to our conversation.
I agree with what you are saying and believe it’s true that there are a lot of con artists and such out there looking to make some quick cash off the type of person you described above, someone who is unhappy with what they are currently doing and wants something more “fulfilling.” On the other hand, I also think that if someone really is unhappy it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to settle. I admit I do not LOVE my job, but I don’t hate it either. Therefore, I can keep my day job while taking night/weekend classes, looking around at what’s available, and continuing to work toward something better. In the meantime, I’m getting my time in at work, and getting the promotions that put me one step closer toward my ultimate goal. It may take some time, and it’s definitely not something to rush into, but it can be done as long as you’re realistic about it. At least I hope so.
Maureen´s last blog ..At Least it’s Friday
That’s exactly what I have always told my husband… WHILE you are stuck in a job you don’t like, start making preparations for something better, but don’t give in to misery in your current setting. In other words, consider it temporary, make the best of it (for your own sanity) and keep working on bigger and better things on the side.
I believe it can totally be done!
[...] read at http://www.questforbalance.com not too long ago. It is a thought provoking article entitled Net worth vs. self worth – the paradox of passion. I encourage you to find time to follow the link and devour the [...]
[...] bloggers, Lisis of Quest for Balance, wrote a heartfelt post about what she referred to as the Passion Paradox. The post was written with a lot of emotion and passion which displayed her frustration that [...]
[...] that I knew would also create some debate between readers loyal to different types of cameras. Also Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox (while this post isn’t a pure question post there’s a strong call for people to react [...]
[...] from Quest for Balance recently opened a can of worms with her Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox post. The “can”, was busting open the myth of “following your passion and the [...]
Hi Lisis
I missed this at the start of the month and thanks to Nadia now got re-directed to it.
Wow – what a post and what an array of comments.
It makes me think how I have approached this subject both publicly and privately. For me I loved my job of teaching and I never felt poor. I know we always hear about poor teachers, I know teachers get paid less in the US, but here in Canada in my opinion teachers get paid very well. Yet, most of my previous colleagues complained till the sun came down on how poorly we get paid. Give me a break, a teacher of 10 years gets paid about $80,000 a year – how is that bad?
Anyway, when I left my job to “pursue my greater passions” – I knew there would be no income, and in fact I have no idea if I ever again will make anywhere near where I made being a teacher. But that is all good. I am so happy, and deep within I still have everything I need and want. This is where I feel that if we follow our passions things do work out. But perhaps there is a catch here…perhaps we really have to be conscious about it, perhaps many are thinking they are following their passions, but in fact it is some other outlet of the ego, perhaps I am some weird minority… I don’t know. I am not disagreeing with you, but just tossing other ideas out.
I know personally that I would not pay anyone who has some “get rich quick scheme” – it is as you and some others said…if your passion is money then hey that is the way to try I guess.
But I want to expand on one more point. Jay mentioned that many people who follow their passions have a spouse supporting the two. And in some ways he was right. My husband was working, and even though our life was set up for a two income lifestyle, we were actually able to make it just fine on one income, without needing to get rid of our house, cars, etc. And yes we do live simply, so I don’t want that to come across as some lavish house and cars.
Anyway, my husband was laid-off earlier this fall. (We knew this was going to happen more or less). So now there is two of us with no real jobs. And….
And he is not going to get a job, he is going to pursue his passions now of working as a freelance developer. And we are fine, nothing has changed and we don’t expect anything to. (And no we do not have any savings to fall back on whatsoever – and yes we do have a mortgage, etc.)
I don’t know how to explain it other than we have this immense faith that everything will be as we create it, and so far it has not faltered. I am not trying to make anyone feel extra bad or extra hopeful….I am just saying that sometimes there is so much more to all of this than perhaps our own minds can grasp.
Maybe there is no one golden rule…. we all perceive things so differently. Some people swear by the LOA, some people see no sense in it. For some things work out no matter what, for others nothing seems to work out. There is definitely so much more here to consider….
(I will write more on this on my site soon, as I need to reflect on it some more.) Thank you Lisis for opening this discussion, I feel this is a great platform for growth for all of us.
Evita´s last blog ..Make Every Holiday a ‘Holy Day’: Redecorating the Landscape of Life
Hey, Evita!
Thanks for joining the conversation (I’m so glad Nadia’s post brought you here!). You raise some excellent points here, similar to Nadia’s in that, when our needs are simple it is much easier for things to just work out. We have left our corporate jobs too and, so far so good; but we don’t have or need much at all.
I suppose if someone wanted their passion to result in $80K or more per year, they’d have to do a bit more than just have faith. (By the way, that’s an awesome salary for teachers!) It’s all in what we’re looking for. Do we want a life built around our passions… which is relatively simple to do? Or do we want a certain lifestyle to come from our passions? If I want to write for this blog and have THAT earn me $100K per year, you’d better believe there’s going to be some long hours of work being logged!
We each have to decide what we really want, and need. I’d love to be able to afford to fly… but do I NEED it, enough to spend the time and energy producing that extra income? Nope. Currently, I need time at home, to be with my son and to help others through the blog. Monetizing that, in my eyes, is merely a distraction (because I have a spouse who is paying the bills, as Jay mentioned).
So many angles to consider, huh? Thanks for adding your perspective!
It seems like I am late to the party…LOL! I was away on retreat when your post got published and missed all the excitement and controversy it generated. I also got here because of Nadia’s post.
I may just write a post myself based on my personal experience on this topic. I have been thinking about it in the last three months. Most certainly, I agree with the snake oil and all!
I won’t be able to go through all the comments here but Jay’s being first stood out for me. His comment was interesting: “The Law of Attraction is a scam propogated by middle-class white people who have never faced real poverty. Wishing for a thing doesn’t make it happen…no matter how hard one might wish for it.” I thought I’d like to present some of my own findings.
A scam is by people with an intention to deceive. LOA is a natural law, just like gravitational law. So I’d like to put forth that LOA is not a scam. LOA is always at work, whether we believe in it or not. Since it is a natural law and therefore does not discriminate, it applies to anyone whether middle-income, poor or rich.
LOA is about the Universe responding to the vibration that we are holding. If we meditate, we can find out for ourselves on an experiential level that we are really energy! This is a finding not unlike what Buddha or other meditators have found out.
When something is not working in our favor, it is not that a natural law is false or a scam. We have to examine why it is not working. It is just like electricity. If the light does not come on when we flick on a switch, it is not that the laws of electricity do not apply. We have to investigate if we need to change the light bulb or if something has gone wrong. In the case of LOA, we have to find out if we are focusing more on our have-nots than what we would like to intend for. We may wish for a thing but we may be manifesting the “wanting” rather than the ultimate object.
All in all, there is more to LOA than what some of the snake peddlers would have us believe. Indeed, I found out that I first need to do some intensive inner work before I start to experience any benefits at all. The trick is to take the time to investigate experientially for ourselves if something holds true or not, before dismissing it.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog ..Christmas Greetings From Singapore Botanic Gardens
Hi Evelyn,
I really admire and respect you, but I have to disagree. If The Law of Attraction were a natural law, like gravity, then it would work every single time. It could be tested, and the results could be replicated again and again. If the LoA were a natural law, then it would affect all people of all races and all sexes and incomes, just as you stated. However, it doesn’t.
I spent a long time helping people in who were living in abject poverty turn their situations around. A lot of those people spend hours every single day wishing, hoping, praying, and yes, even visualizing a life where their basic needs are met and they don’t have to worry about paying bills. Not fantasizing about being rich, but really trying to manifest just a basic living. The only ones who were ever successful were the ones who not only visualized a better future, but also spent a lot of time really working their asses off to make a better life for themselves and their families. Without the hard work, the visualization is meaningless.
As another example, I know too many people, mostly women, who desperately want to have children, but can’t. No matter how hard they visualize, no matter how hard they try to intentionally manifest their desires, they’re not going to have children. Maybe they can adopt, or maybe they can spend time with nieces or other people’s kids, but that’s not really what they wanted, not really what they desired. Wishing for kids does not magically bring them into your life.
Has any woman, who is about to get raped, NOT cried out to the heavens and said: Dear God, please don’t let this happen? What about a child who is being abused? If the Law of Attraction were real, there would be no poverty, no crime, and no abuse in the world. Because there are these things, because they exist in the world, I can only conclude that the LoA does not.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Paying It Forward
Hi Jay
Reading your comment I felt compelled to add in a bit here too. I so understand where you are coming from – this is perhaps the best and most common criticism of the LOA. However if I may add one thing here….
(hope you don’t mind, it is just to bounce off a few other ideas to perhaps expand upon your, mine and other people’s consciousness
Jay, we don’t always (most of the time) know what soul contracts we have made with other people on this Earth – how we and them are going to interact to influence things on a deeper level of growth for both parties.
It is only once we stop seeing the crimes as “bad” things, as tragedies, and escape the world of duality, that we can step into seeing why the LOA has a real purpose.
I am not sure what your belief is on past lives, soul contracts, etc. is, but I have explored from many angles this whole idea of “why bad things happen to good people” and why “good people can’t get the good they so wish for, intend, deserve, etc…”
The whole situation takes on a whole new meaning when we lift just those two very important words “good” and “bad”. I know it is going to a depth where many in our world are still not comfortable with, as it makes us really re-think the whole concept of “right” and “wrong” – which for most people is very black and white in most cases.
There are so many in this world who got raped, abused, neglected, or other in this world whether as children or adults that have turned around to change the lives of millions for the better. Naturally the opposite is also true. So in no way am I saying that I agree with the injustices, it is just that often our human mind gets focused in on the exact situation, judges that, and does not see (for many reasons) the grander purpose of it all.
So going back to the LOA, I guess what I am trying to say is, like Evelyn I do understand the LOA – I have seen it work flawlessly and not work at all. But regardless, it is not enough, nor was it ever intended to be used to avoid what many would call a potential “tragedy” in the moment. This comes from within, from many years of conditioning and results from what we pre-paved over years sometimes, and what really sits in our subconscious minds. And this is perhaps the problem….the majority of people don’t know what is in their subconscious mind, that operates most of our thoughts, words and habits over 95% of the time each day.
This is why as Evelyn says, it is only after we do some serious inner work, that we begin to see why we get or not get, what we have in our lives. In the end it is not about the cars, money, etc…
So I just wanted to shed a little more light on this, and of course you take from my comment what resonates with you – I just hope to inspire people to see even more depth to many of these situations that are part of our so called “life”. It can be really freeing.
Evita´s last blog ..It’s A Wonderful Life and Your Role In It Is Irreplaceable
@ Evita, Jay, and Evelyn: I LOVE this conversation about LOA, because I believe it is another one of those that is in need of some serious scrutiny. Just like the “follow your passion” issue, LOA has resulted in its own batch of snake oil salesmen… so now we have some people who vehemently stand by it, while others firmly reject it as hogwash.
I’ll mention a couple of thoughts that came to mind while reading these three comments, and then I think we should create a whole new conversation (your place, or mine?) on JUST LOA:
1. Comparing it to the laws of gravity strains credulity in that, as Jay mentioned, gravity can be measured, proved, and produces predictable results in every instance. LOA lacks in all three categories. I’m not saying that makes it false, just that we need a more appropriate point of comparison.
2. If most of us, 95% of the time, don’t really have a clue who we are, what we want, and how the universe works, then what good is LOA? It seems to be one of those laws that can only be “proven” in retrospect. If all four of us spend ten years tapping into our subconscious desires, and properly apply LOA techniques (whatever those may be), and one of us gets what we were wishing for, that person would be tempted to say, “LOA worked, and I’m living proof.” But the majority of us aren’t getting what we so desperately want… so how is it a useful tool?
If we are just saying LOA is out there (like air) and all of life depends on it, and it works in mysterious ways, that’s lovely; but it doesn’t help us get where we want to go. People have harnessed the air to create electricity, and worked with the air to design the miracle of flight. How can we use LOA to be of causal, measurable benefit to anyone?
If either of you, or anyone else, would like to address those issues (and more), I’ll be happy to host a guest post, or start a cross-blog conversation on the issue. I fear it may be leading dreamers down a path that leads to disillusionment, and that can’t be a good thing.
Thanks!!
[...] Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox – Quest For Balance [...]
[...] Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox – Quest For Balance [...]
1. I believe financial success is not based upon focus (e.g. interest or making money), but upon the exchange of value. There exist plenty of broke folks whose focus is money. And plenty of rich folks whose focus is their interest.
2. I’m really tired of the term “passion” being thrown around like it’s some long lost love. It’s an application. Not a soul mate.
3. Fabulous post. Fabulous comments. True awesomeness all around.
Nelia´s last blog ..What the Hell Is a Habit?
Nelia!! My sweet, sweet Nelia! You would not believe how much I’ve missed you! I kept thinking, “I wonder if she’s still off in Cambodia (isn’t that where you were headed?), or working on some other awesome project?”
I’m SO glad you are back (and please don’t stay gone so long… this coffee house is not the same without you!).
As for your comments, I’m going to have to agree. If I see the word passion one more time, I may throw up. And the value exchange thing is exactly what David wrote about on Raptitude (another brilliant post of his which redefined my reality.)
You are just in time because I recently resolved to make 2010 the year when I find the crossroads between passion (ugh!) and profit. Time to practice what Aristotle preached:
“Where your talents and the needs of the world cross, therein lies your vocation.â€
That was one smart cookie!
(Whew.) Now I don’t feel like sentimental fool. Believe you me, The Quest for Balance was sorely missed and needed. I feel as though I’ve returned to the loving embrace of my virtual sister. Or something like that.
Re Cambodia. I have returned. It’s been hell. It’s been brilliant. I leave again this Sunday.
Re David. Point this fella out! It seems we may have an Objectivist in our mists!
Re quote. Aristotle is so on point, it’s silly. And genius.
Re resolution. What is the game plan? Please share!
Nelia´s last blog ..12 Habits? How Do I Choose?
Did I really write “mists” instead of “midst”? Now that’s silly. I really need more hours of sleep.
Nelia´s last blog ..12 Habits? How Do I Choose?
Aww… You have, you have!! I’m embracing (though you probably can’t see it.)
David is responsible for post #6 in the links above. He’s one of my all-time personal faves in the world of blogging.
As for 2010, I think it will require a smorgasborg of unrelated bits of awesomeness… the blog, some ebooks, a little freelancing, and a whole new gig I’m working on with candle art (what medium could be sexier than hot, melty wax, right?)
Truth is, the details are still fuzzy, but the motivation, intent, and determination abound in unprecedented amounts.
Thanks for being here, Nelia. It really does feel like my long-lost sister has returned.
Agree, agree, agree! I got so frustrated with the “pick your passion” movement that I finally started a blog called Serial Reinvention, for people with more than one passion. I thought it was just me and that, in the process, I was killing my career. You’ve said it even more eloquently here. MOST of us don’t have any idea what we were “born to do.” Furthermore, we don’t necessarily WANT to spend the rest of our lives pursuing just one thing – what a narrow vision of life to impose on people! As with all social movements, going against that grain is not the popular choice, but there are plenty of serial reinventors out there who will take inspiration from your post. Kudos.
Rebecca MacDonald´s last blog ..Would You Volunteer for a Severance Package?
Hey, Rebecca! That’s totally me… I re-invent myself regularly. Maybe I just don’t know who I am, or maybe I like being a work in progress, but I cannot imagine doing one thing exclusively for any length of time. Sometimes I envy people who have that singularity of focus but, on the other hand, I can see how it could become a curse. If that ONE thing fails, there is so much at stake!
I’m glad you liked this post. Thanks so much for joining the conversation!
[...] it happened. I unloaded everything that was on my mind in a little rant I called The Passion Paradox, and everything changed. I started to see blogging, and people, and purpose in a whole new light. [...]
“The passion comes naturally; the business acumen, technical skills, and compromises required to make money… those are what you have to DO, what you have to focus on to profit from your passion… if that’s what you want.”
This is what a lot of people do not understand. I surely didn’t the first time around. You need business acumen and be willing to compromise to earn money. You have the power to make people happy; they have the power to pay you.
Exactly! Thanks for stopping by, Benxamin!
[...] he's awake right now.Related blog postsUnstoppable Passion: How to Eat Inspiration For Breakfast …Net Worth vs. Self Worth: The Passion Paradox | Quest for Balancekarl marx business ethics | MarxThe 7 Traits of an Exceptional & Successful Entrepreneur …Does [...]
I actually think that “doing what you love” is far from necessary, and even a bit extreme. Considering that many people are spending their lives doing something they hate (and for mediocre money), merely liking what you do is cause for celebration in my book.
I’d be thrilled to make good money doing something I like, or lots of money doing something I could tolerate. That is, to have a favorable balance of money and enjoyment, not necessarily maxing out on both at the same time.
Sure, doing what you love would be great, but we don’t need to set the bar that high, do we? You can always do what you love on the side, without expecting to get paid for it.
Hunter Nuttall´s last blog ..50 Famously Successful People Who Failed At First
Hey, Hunter! I totally agree with you. It seems to me that, by setting the bar that high (aka: in order to be successful you must make tons of money doing what you love), we just set ourselves up for disappointment. Really, there are so many gray areas in between, with some combination of enough money and not unpleasant conditions.
The stress of trying to find that perfect work setup reminds me of the stress in dating. People make up these idealized lists and, if they end up with someone who has 7 out of 10 of those characteristics, they feel like they “settled”! Without the pressure to find that one and only perfect soul mate, I bet a lot more people would be in happy relationships!
Thanks for your comment.
I agree with almost everything you say.
Not all passions can be profitable. Using a job as a means to an end is entirely honourable.
What I don’t think you emphasise enough is that some jobs (and I think increasingly) are just horrible. And that job insecurity is increasing.
So the attempt to make our living doing what we love is appealing for these reasons too.
But buying into the ‘thou shalt be like me’ is a recipe for misery – I entirely agree.
Hey, Evan! You are right… it definitely should be made clear that some jobs are, for whatever reasons, UNbearable. I firmly believe, if you are in that kind of job, you need to get OUT. Health and happiness are worth WAY more than whatever financial security that job provides.
My husband has twice left soul-killing jobs with no plan B (even during this recession). Everyone tried to convince him he had a “good” job, and they are so hard to come by these days, but he knew it was killing him slowly. So he left.
I think if you have an awful job, or if you have the perfect setup (getting paid for the thing you love), there isn’t really much to discuss. Get rid of the first one, and hang on to the second one. But most of us fall somewhere in between. We haven’t found the dream setup, but we also aren’t in a terrible situation… it’s just OK… and it pays all the bills. Maybe there are ways to enhance the current job, or our lifestyle around it, or to add some of what we love (for pay) on the side, or something along that spectrum.
It’s the all or nothing mentality that worries me: “If you don’t LOVE your job, your life is a complete waste.” I don’t buy this for a minute.
I really appreciate you being here!
Here’s my stance:
I TOTALLY believe in living for your passions and your purpose – completely, 100% – that’s what I do for a living, help people discover and live them out. I think living a life focused on “getting by” is killing us – one soul at a time.
I also think some people can, and some people should, make the shift to making a living at your passion. If the shoe fits and all that…
That said, I DO NOT agree with (a) the idea that for a passion to be worthwhile, or for you to get joy from it, you need to see a financial turnaround or with (b) others getting rich off making people feel bad about where they currently are in life, or to feel like they aren’t enough.
The value of our passions is not financial. If you get the opportunity to sell your passion (say art) good on you! All the better. If you don’t want to sell your art, good on you! The question is, are you making the time and space to feed your soul by playing in your passion? If the answer is yes, then that’s all that matters! Everything else is secondary. I think knowing who you are and how to energize yourself and tap into joy are all you really need in life. Naive?
Yours,
Megan
Megan´s last blog ..5 Ways Lists Can Change Your Life
At first as I was reading your article I felt myself resisting what you were saying. Knowing the chatter in my mind is mostly feeble I continued reading and found it interesting to note that though I agreed with you there was a part of me that wanted to elaborate. So I followed the replies in the blogs, which you make mention to at the bottom of your article ( in particular: Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life; How to Spot a Snake Oil Salesmen; noting also that I found your site from raptitude.com who’s article I am yet to read) and they articulated my thoughts. Just thought I would mention all of these articles mentioned have put into words where I am at presently. I seem to find things at the right moments. It’s wonderful.
)
That’s awesome that it worked out that way. I really felt the responses on other blogs needed to be mentioned here, in order to complete the thought circle. Thanks for sharing your reading experience with me.