Why Do You Fear Being Great, You Yellow-Bellied Coward?
December 18, 2009
Please Note: This is a guest post by, Jonny, from The Life Thing. I just met this young man, and I love him already because of his soulful heart, and his passionate zeal for this thing called Life.
Be Modest, And Be Boring. If You ARE Great…BE Great.
Marc Pachter, who has interviewed some of the most intriguing characters in recent American history, makes the point that modest people make the worst interviewees. He argues that people need to think they have done something with their lives, and have a story worth telling, or no amount of clever word play is going to be worth two hours of any audience’s time.
Have you DONE something with your life? Do you have a STORY worth telling?
Are you GOING to do something with your life? Will you HAVE a story worth telling?
I glanced at an answer given by Amanda Holden recently, who I believe is one of the judges of English Pop Idol, to the question “How would you rate your looks?” Her answer?
“When I’ve just got up and am taking the kids to school in a dressing gown, no more than a 6; but when I have make-up on, have done my hair and am dressed to impress, then 10 out of 10.”
How many of us would be quick to slate Amanda for her “big headedness”? She should have been modest, most would say, and said around a 7-8, even if she thought she was an 11.
WHY IS THIS?!
Why do we seem to have become a society that stifles and rejects greatness, and pulls those that begin to rise up back down to mediocrity?
Amanda is confident in her looks, in her abilities to make the most of them and it is this confidence that has helped take her far in the fleeting world of entertainment. I, for one, commend her for this.
Each one of us was born with greatness instilled into us. You were born instilled with greatness, and we all have the opportunity to LIVE great lives, DO great things and BE great people. You have this opportunity too.
You have the opportunity to LIVE a great life, DO great things, and BE a great individual.
So why do we all not live up to our potential greatness?
Why Do You Fear Being Great?
Many, no doubt, are familiar with the psychologist Abraham Maslow and his famous Hierarchy of Needs, which in summary, relates to how people can achieve their full humanness.
Maslow’s main life work focused on the idea that if we as a society focused on creating more individuals that had reached the benchmark of being “completely human” then society would move on in leaps and bounds that we could not imagine or fathom.
Maslow, in his research, explored the reasons why so few individuals, as far as he could tell, succeeded in reaching this benchmark of “full humanness,” and a big part of his life was devoted to exploring the self-coined “Jonah Complex.”
The Jonah Complex
Why is it that we are all born with limitless potential, yet few people fulfill those possibilities?
One of the reasons Maslow put forward is what he called the Jonah Complex. The biblical Jonah was a timid merchant who tried to resist God’s call for him to go on an important mission. Maslow’s complex refers to the “fear of one’s own greatness,” or avoiding our true destiny or calling.
Maslow observed that we fear our best as much as our worst.
Some people avoid seeking to be great because they fear being seen as grandiose, as wanting too much. Yet this can just become an excuse not to try.
Instead we adopt mock humility and set low aims for ourselves. The possibility of becoming remarkable shoots a thunderbolt of fear into unremarkable people.
Are you setting your aim in life low for the fear of being great? For the fear of people taking notice? For the fear of being different?
If you are settling for mediocre in this life because society deems it appropriate, then you are not being true to yourself and, because of this, you will never be truly happy and, ironically, this will also ensure you will never be able to fully relate to others or fully integrate into society.
The best and simplest way to fully integrate into society, to help others, be a great husband or wife, raise great kids, run great businesses, do great things, have great experiences and live a great life is to become who you truly are – in other words – TO BE GREAT.
We have lost the heroes of old in our generation today. Society today has no place for heroes anymore. From Alexander the GREAT and Julius Caesar to Churchill and De Gaulle, our environment is set up in such as way that these individuals are now viewed as arrogant and unacceptable because they refuse to jump back in and swim in the mediocrity of society.
We no longer, save for a few, have real life-and-death battles to fight, where one’s true greatness can sometimes be forced to the surface through circumstance.
We, as a society, have a different battleground; one of 9 to 5 jobs, television entertainment, and broken communities.
It is here that our greatness must come to the front. There are still battles to fight in our daily lives and still opportunities to not shy from our own greatness. As Maslow argues, possibly the best way to fix our current society is perhaps not to focus on others first, while limiting our own potential, but instead to focus on ourselves and make sure we are living up to all that we are capable of and then, once there, we can be a powerful force to help others.,
We do, however, have modern day heroes of the technological age. Great men and women like Barack Obama, J.K. Rowling, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, David Beckham, Jammie Oliver, Mark Zuckerberg, Francis Collins, and J. Craig Venter.
These people have achieved great things in sports, politics, entertainment, writing, entrepreneurship, and in their own way have changed the world. Most of these people have come from nowhere and with few advantages in life. This in itself should inspire belief that greatness is achievable, no matter what hand you were dealt in life.
Never Stifle The Greatness Of Others, Never Shy Away From Your Own
You have a choice – To Be Great Or Not To Be Great.
Whatever your choice, do not stifle or undermine those that are trying to be great. It is these people we need in our society, that will bring about the most positive change.
Do not shy from your own greatness. You are unique, your combination of skills, life experience and abilities are unique to you, and only you. You have the opportunity to be great, you need only embrace it.
As Maslow posed to his students after asking them which one would be the next President, or Inspirational moral leader, like Albert Schweitzer:
“If not you, then who else?”
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Jonny writes for love of Helping People, Inspiring People and Katie Holmes. He honed his unique writing style through his refusal to read for fear the words would attack him, and borrowed his life philosophies from the local stray terrier, but plans to give aspects of them back.
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What about YOU?
What holds you back from achieving greatness? Do you shy away from it? Do you agree with this assessment?
SHOULD we strive to be great? What does it mean to be great? How do you know when you have achieved it?
Related posts:
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- Inspiration: Helen Keller “Great and Noble Tasks”
- The Sixth Step to Finding Fulfillment: Be Honest
- 10 Things You Should Know About Yourself (aka: “So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish!”)
- Net Worth vs. Self Worth: The Passion Paradox
Posted in Life, Overcoming Challenges, choices
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I’d never be a yellow-bellied coward, well, possibly a lily-white bellied one.
It’s doubt and worry which leads to fear and anxiety. Stop doubting and worrying and fear will melt away. Fix your head and your ass will follow.
Gordie´s last blog ..How To Slice And Dice Your Way To Success.
It’s a great point you’re making, Jonny. I’ve always felt that I should/could be great/extraordinary, but then also have felt stifled by a variety of things from family upbringing, to personality, and life circumstances. It does seem incredibly vain to even suggest that one should be “great”.
My issue has been that there is no single thing I feel called to be “great” at. I seem to be fairly good at a lot of things, but not incredibly great at anything. Except that, lately, I seem to have had greatness thrust upon me in the form of extraordinarily difficult life circumstances. And my greatness has manifested itself in my strength and ability to get through all the bad stuff without becoming more fearful, cynical, jaded. I’ve connected with many similarly extraordinary people and have been incredibly surprised by their view of me – as someone incredibly strong, compassionate and loving. This may not be in the same vein as being the next President or Nobel Prize recipient, but to me it has been a recognition of my own uniqueness, which has, so far on a small scale, has had some impact on a small group of people.
So, yes, we can all be great in our own unique way, just by being ourselves. I think most of us hide ourselves from our own selves, behind a mask of incompetence and ordinariness, not recognising that it is our original, authentic selves that are truly great.
Dorothy´s last blog ..Christmas Blues
Fix your head and your ass will follow. I like that.
What an awesome post, Jonny! I think I’ve feared my own greatness for a long time, but I’m on the path now and my blog is proof of that. It just happened a few weeks ago, but I can feel that I’m on the right track.
We should all be great. There’s no need to fear that others will think you’re arrogant, or want too much, that acts as a filter to keep out the people that do not have the correct mindset yet. Those that know what you do and do what you do will understand.
Henri´s last blog ..121 Ways to Improve Your Life and Be More Awesome
Very cool. Great way of looking at things. The fear of success is often greater than the fear of failure, just because success is much more difficult to handle than failure. In surfing, it’s much easier to fall off the board than to ride the wave, and I think that’s a great metaphor for life.
Hey, Jonny! Thanks so much for this awesome guest post! I love your zest and enthusiasm… I just hope it’s contagious!
@ Gordie: I’ve always said, “Train the heart, and the mind will follow,” but I think your version sounds far more poetic!
@ Dorothy: Wow! I feel like you just wrote MY story! I do believe there are different ways to be “great” and you are perfectly on track for your greatness… or at least I hope so, ’cause I’m on that same path!
@ Henri: Great point. It’s funny, we always worry that others won’t think enough of us, and yet, we fear being great because others may think we’re too arrogant! Basically, worrying about what others think keeps us miserable!
@ Jay: Yup. In my mind, success would be WAY more difficult than failure (status quo). If I keep everything as it is, my life is simple, the requirements on my time and energy are minimal, and the expectations I have to live up to are non-existent. If I am suddenly thrust into greatness, my life gets instantly more complex. So maybe it’s an issue of comfort levels for me(?).
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! Another seeringly great post about another of my bug bears. As mystical, brilliant and monstrously perfect as we have been made, I have never heard a western woman say how much they love themselves……every inch of themselves – even all the (completely natural) wobbly bits. In Africa or Brazil for example, however it is very common. People will say how wonderful they are without any irony or pretend modesty.
In a recent episode of one of those Simon Cowell shows, a contestant was berated for being ‘over confident’ and yet our greatest (past) stars had a sense of self knowledge, confidence and a good whiff of arrogance about them – Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, John Lennon, even a non artist like Mother Theresa – hardly apologetic people and if you are super talented from your hard work I believe a whiff of arrogance is justified. I read it as honesty. Unfortunately what we find today is people’s fear to rise to excellence, so they attack those that do in attempt to bring them down to mediocrity, (soooo much easier than competing!). Read the comments on any entertainment blog.
I have to shove in one of my favourite quotes:
‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us.”
Maryanne Williamson as used by
Nelson Mandela
@ Dorothy – we are great by default don’t you think? There is nothing that will be created by man that will supercede the way we are put together, our innate intelligence, our inner workings, our incomparable minds. Unfortunately it is often conformity that slowly chips away through the years at our brilliant machine. I have spoken to a lot of people like you Dorothy who go through life comparing themselves to others somewhat unfavourably and it might take something like a school reunion or some other
get-together for them to discover that all the while there were a host of people comparing themselves to YOU unfavourably, because they saw amazing things in you that you yourself failed to see.
More non-presidents and non-Nobel prize winners have touched my heart and completely owned a piece of it than any presidents or prize winners have, which I would place at a much higher value personally.
Not difficult to understand, at least to me.
If you don’t have the emotional toolkit to rebound, after you’ve had the crap smacked out of you a few times, it becomes increasingly more difficult to justify sticking out one’s neck.
I definitely relate to Dorothy.
There is one other aspect to “greatness” that I have seen in just about every single person who has “made it.” They have in common a sort of “ruthlessness” that – apparently – I don’t have. I don’t know how to explain it. I know it when I see it.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..What Does a Pink Limousine Have to do With Blogging? (It’s the Week in Review!)
Interesting post, my brain is tingling.
There is a difference between being great and declaring yourself great. I think it is possible to be great and humble at the same time. It all depends on what kind of recognition you need for your greatness. If your own self-talk is confident and positive and you feel great at something, perhaps that is enough. If you need external validation and recognition, then you’re definitely going to have to talk yourself up to people so they also realize your greatness.
It’s like having internal greatness versus external greatness. For example, if I achieve my own personal potential, which I think everyone should strive to do, then I have pursued internal greatness.
If, on the other hand, I talk about my own greatness, self-promote with marketing strategies, exude self-confidence, and gain external recognition for my greatness, is that perceived in the same way?
I’d like to think that if we each pursue our potential with passion, then we will each achieve our own greatness, at least for ourselves, even if no one else recognizes it.
Is that good enough? Does that count as being great?
Think about someone you think is great. Did they promote themselves, or do you think they are great because they were simply following their passion and doing what they thought was right?
Daphne´s last blog ..No Marriage Is Perfect
Hey Jonny.
This is very good material to bring up.
We are afraid when we aren’t stepping up to certain levels, as there must be something keeping us from going at them full force. This could be worries of negative responses from other folks once we get there, or pressure that might mount when we are where we would like to be.
I sure like this quote. “We, as a society, have a different battleground; one of 9 to 5 jobs, television entertainment, and broken communities.” That is right on point, and so anyone not in a broken cycle can seem out of place, when it should be the other way around. We have to remember that fear of being great has no basis behind it, because if we are not to be great, what is our goal?
Thanks for hitting a point home here.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..You Don’t Know What Works Until You Fully Try
Jonny,
I interview bloggers on almost a daily basis at this point and this is one of those things that they all need to keep in mind. If they didn’t have some greatness in them to begin with, then they wouldn’t have started down this path of entrepreneurship. Everybody has some part of their story that makes it great and they shouldn’t be afraid to share it with the world.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..The Skool of Life in 2009: Lessons from a Blogger’s Journey
Great article.
Early in my twenties I dropped out of college to become a full-time primate keeper at a zoo. A childhood dream. I had made it and felt so incredibly lucky to have found my calling at such an early life.
I woke up a few years later, bored with life. Something deep in my soul realized at that point I would never be satisfied with life. My mother had always told me I could do anything in the world, anything I wanted. I believed her. What happens if we reach our potential or follow a dream only to catch it? Then realized that’s NOT the secret to life and we’re left with the realization that even if we achieve all our worldly dreams, we’re still missing something.
I tend to either want to be on top of the mountain, or under it.
If we don’t try, we won’t fail and thus avoiding the realization we fear the most, that life is meaningless.
That was before I discovered the key to happiness and fulfillment has been inside me all along. The place in my soul that held the “ideal” person I believed that I could be. The one I never thought I could quite live up to. Today, I am that person and have reached greatness; regardless of what I do professionally or accomplish. I can bring little peaces of greatness into the lives of others each and every day. And if along the way I happen to become successful at something (depending our others view of success, e.i. monetary)… well then that’s just GRAVY and more resources to help others.
Jared´s last blog ..Just Breathe!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LisisMB, David McLain. David McLain said: Why Do You Fear Being Great, You Yellow-Bellied Coward? @Serene_Balance http://bit.ly/55B4cv [...]
Coach Rosie – In my comment, I believe that “ruthlessness” I’m referring to is that “whiff of arrogance” you describe.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..Blog World Recap: How to Attract a Large and Loyal Audience
(I’m thinking Jonny will respond to some of these comments in a while, but since he is out having adventures, as I sit here at home, I guess I’ll throw my two cents in as well…)
@ Rosie: It’s amazing that a contestant who is aiming to be a star would be berated for over-confidence. As you mentioned, isn’t that precisely what it takes to make it to those levels? Ironically, I’ve also seen them berate contestants for lacking confidence… there’s just no pleasing some people, huh?
@ Dave: You’re about as poetic as Gordie, up there! But I’m with you (and Dorothy). I really think some people have that emotional rebound toolkit you’re talking about… ruthlessness, thick skin, perseverance, stubbornness… I don’t know what it is, but it’s the thing that makes some people keep going long after everyone else has opted out. What is that, I wonder?
@ Daphne: I have that “brain tingling” reaction when I read much of what Jonny writes. His approach to life is on fire, or something… very refreshing. Your comment reminded me of the George Carlin quote:
“As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.”
What is great? As per society’s standards it seems to mean wealth and fame and things a person acquires and measures. People tend to compare themselves with each other; measuring wins and losses.
I think Jonny defines “greatness” perfectly here: “To become who you truly are.”
My feeling is that it is about letting what IS be, rather than acquiring something. I don’t believe being Great means being Successful or Important — being Great IS the result of being unique and having the courage to be different.
Being unique is a life-long relationship with the Self, because each day unfolds and we continue to be introduced to the “unknown”. In this learning process, there can be no mistakes… which to me, is what stops me from being “Great”; the fear of making mistakes.
Davina´s last blog ..Night Before Christmas — Rewritten
Man, I’m late for the comment party. Time for me to inject my thoughts:
Jonny,
Maslow answers it himself in his own Hierarchy of Needs. The social aspect of the hierarchy is at a lower level than self-actualization (which is needed to be our best), so humans naturally seek social acceptance over being great (which is what a self-actualized person is).
You’re dead on about great people being seen as grandiose, arrogant, self-righteous and so on. And this is precisely why more people aren’t great nowadays – because they seek social acceptance over greatness. They don’t want to risk being seen as bad and being outlawed by the community.
And now for my answers to your questions:
What holds you back from achieving greatness?
The number of hours in a day, if anything. I think living life to its fullest, independent of the time we have in a day to spend, is great. So, in reality, nothing should. Except for my ego. Self-limiting beliefs occasionally bungee jump into my consciousness for short periods of time too.
Do you shy away from [greatness]?
No. I never have, and have taken a lot of flak for it, since people are intimidated by people who appear to have no weaknesses. I make mistakes like everyone else, but sometimes my peers hate me because I don’t act weak like they do. This messed with my head for YEARS.
Do you agree with this assessment?
I think your post is dead on, except you included JK Rowling as a “great” one. Really? She writes CHILDREN’S LITERATURE for chrissakes. I’d much rather sit down with a true great like Dostoevsky, Joyce, or Hugo than bear with her stuff. I loved her books when I was 9 and had 0 taste in books.
Plus, David Copperfield could be read to children and they’d understand it. And DC’s one of my favorite novels EVER.
Don’t take my literary criticisms to heart – I just think the quality in writing has declined sharply in comparison with the classics.
Should we strive to be great?
Yes. All the time. Until greatness is something you are and not something you strive to be.
What does it mean to be great?
When everything you do is a form of self-expression of the joy of life. That’s my sentence summary.
How do you know when you have achieved it?
When you realize that you can’t “achieve” greatness – it’s always inside of you, waiting to be expressed. You create greatness in the here and now and don’t see it as some lofty goal.
Whew, that was a long comment. I’d love your thoughts, Jonny, Lisis, anyone!
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..What Is “Difficultâ€?
@Dave Doolin – yeah i’d agree to that!
@ Lisis – too right! This schizophrenic advice has really messed up some good potential artists where normally they would have been left to work out who they are artistically for themselves over time.
@ Lisis x2 – sorry I’m ‘@tting’ people on YOUR blog (talking of arrogance!) – But I just enjoy your posts so!
@ Brett – know what you’re saying about JK Rowling and TBH I’m obviously one of the few who doesn’t ‘get’ the little wizard boy. But what makes her great (IMHO) is the effect she has had on people, children in particular, worldwide, who are picking up a book and reading for pleasure, rather than the quality of her writing? She has managed to touch so many people – a skill great folk have – so she has ’something’ no?
Striving to be great is vital. One of the most important lessons I learned was from a professor who told us to not only envision the accomplishment of our wildest goals, but to act as if we had already achieved them. By doing so, you get a constant taste of what you are seeking and as a result, maintain that fire of motivation within to make it a more complete reality.
@ Jared: A primate keeper at a zoo, huh? Never a dull moment with you! I know what you mean, though… I’ve had a few moments of thinking, “There! I made it! I have arrived,” only to realize, the journey continues. I had arrived only at one of many steps on my path. I guess it’s about being great every step of the way.
I love the on top of the mountain, or under it, thing… me too!
@ Davina: It really saddens me that society equates greatness with financial success and/ or fame. Some of the greatest people I’ve met had little or nothing in terms of material possessions, or titles, or accomplishments, but they lived each day to the fullest and endeavored to improve the lives of others. There’s a lot of lip service about greatness is being your authentic self, but the ones we tend to admire, and strive to be like, are the ones who got rich or famous being their authentic selves. Sometimes I think we are aiming entirely in the wrong direction!
@ Brett: Your Maslow observation is precisely the reason I inverted the pyramid in my 5 steps to fulfillment. It seems to me the MOST significant level should be self-actualization, and all the other stuff pales in comparison. But what do I know? I’m just a simple, happy mom, who spends her days doing exactly what she wants to do.
I love your answers to the questions, particularly the David Copperfield one (that was one of my faves when my mom read it to me!) But I have to take issue with your beef against authors of children’s lit. One of the greatest men of all times was Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss) for creating the perfect vessel to teach children about reading and values in a super fun way!
You said greatness is, “When everything we do is a form of self-expression of the joy of life.” Isn’t that precisely what children’s lit authors do? And JK Rowling has fully stepped up to the plate, reintroducing kids to the fun of reading. I’m afraid I have to call that greatness. Don’t you think?
@ Rosie: Feel free to @ away at your heart’s content. I love for this place to feel like a coffee house, where we are all gathered, throwing thoughts around, just to see what comes up.
Dave is working on helping us get the threaded comments plugin to play nice with our theme, so maybe soon it will be easier for you to @ all day long!
Oh, and ditto on JK Rowling… I believe I said almost the same thing!
@ Earl: My mom used to always tell me that too! “Act as if… and soon you will become.” Thanks for the reminder!!
@ Rosie @ Lisis: Sure, she introduced a bunch of children into reading for pleasure rather than for school. That’s cool, and all. But at what cost? Most of the people who read Harry Potter for pleasure and consider it great also read garbage like the Twilight series and other watered-down, mainstream, mass-market stuff that makes my inner lit geek shrivel up and die a little more every day.
This reminds me a lot of The Fountainhead (don’t worry guys, I’m no Objectivist – I don’t think logic is the end all be all of our existence like Rand does), where Ellsworth Toohey and his little association of “cultured” people decide to take a play that is trash and market it as a brilliant, life-altering play. The play is a smashing success precisely because it is mediocre (or worse). If you read the book, you’d know what I’m talking about.
Point is, it doesn’t matter enough if people read – it’s what they’re consuming that determines whether reading is actually beneficial to them or not. Or rather, what they’re getting out of their reading.
But, then again, I must remind everybody that I’m the 16 year old kid whose favorite book is The Brothers Karamazov, followed closely by The Count of Monte Cristo (which is the greatest story every told) and Les Miserables. I’m obviously an outlier compared to the rest of our society.
And I came off a bit too harshly on children’s lit. I loved Dr. Seuss as a kid. Looking back, I see the wisdom in each of his books. But at some level (obviously) I think people have to step up to reading higher quality things – that’s my take on literature as a whole, not as a vehicle for self-expression. I don’t have enough time to really write more than this, since I’ve got blog posts to draft and I’m writing post-length comments here in the first place, so I’ll wrap it up
In closing: when the “greatest” literary name in the past decade or so is a writer of children’s books, what does that say about the literacy and reading habits of adults in our society?
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..What Is “Difficultâ€?
This is going to sound funny but I was lying in the bathtub a few days ago, singing. Well, writing a song, kind of. Just doing what I do with lyrics and melody. And it came to me “Jannie, God wants you to share and shine your songs to as many people as you can.”
Did I feel greatness would be like bragging? I think I have felt that.
“If not me, then who else?” THAT was IT, my bath tub revelation.
Life is just beginning.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..With Not A Dry Parental Eye In The House
@ Brett: What it says is: Thank heavens a great man decided to write children’s books so that, as adults, we can be free to read anything we want.
Sometimes we read intellectual treatises, and the classics. Other times we read mental palate cleansers that entertain us on a superficial level… it is all part of the reading experience, just like we have heavy, meaningful moments and silly, light-hearted moments in our lives. It isn’t just the heavy ones that count.
But, more importantly, you are suggesting there is, or should be, some objective definition of greatness we all should subscribe to. Just because Rowling embodies greatness for Jonny, or Seuss does for me, does not mean anyone else should agree with those assessments. And whether everyone does or not, does not make them any less great.
Even if every person on the planet thought I had wasted all my potential by being a stay at home mom (instead of conquering the world, as I originally intended to do), I would still feel I achieve greatness in every moment of every day… as did Seuss, and Rowling, and whoever invented pizza.
“GREAT” is a very malleable word, much like “Passion”. We should be careful how we throw these around.
@ Jannie: Life IS just beginning… every day anew. I believe the world wants you to shine and share whatever magic you have, in any way you see fit. Having the gift of song is a tremendous blessing, and I know you will do incredible things with it.
You already sound pretty great to me, ’cause you’re singing in the bathtub!
@ Lisis:
My “greatest literary name” referred to Rowling, not Seuss. I would’ve preferred Seuss by a large margin
I know exactly what you mean – the issue here, is subjectivity. Greatness is subjective. In fact, I’d argue that even reality is subjective on a psychological level – but that’s a whole ‘nother post. I didn’t mean to suggest that there is an objective standard for greatness; there is no such thing. Just, to me, Rowling is far from great and may, in fact, hurt people. But that’s just one man’s opinion.
Maybe all my comments should be prefaced with “In my opinion…” or something.
I think we’re expressing the same things, except in different ways. And that’s just great
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..What Is “Difficultâ€?
Agreed, my dear… now don’t you have a 100% Authentic post to write for your blog? I’m waiting with bated breath to watch your new epiphany bear fruit.
Give it all you’ve got!
A very wise mentor said to me once: “You’re too humble.” I took his words to heart. There’s a broad continuum between deflation and inflation, and the trick is finding the sweet spot somewhere towards the center. Robert Johnson has written brilliantly about this. In my experience many people shy away from their greatness, as you call it, because they believe it’s outside of themselves, something to be found rather than something they already have inside.
It’s interesting you bring up Maslow. He theorized that self-actualization (greatness in this case) doesn’t happen without the other four levels of the hierarchy in place. He also wrote about the existential conundrum – our inherent aloneness vs. our need for connection. In my mind, that’s the piece of the pyramid that’s gone missing in today’s world. Creativity, big ideas, self-esteem, they all spring from an essential sense of belonging, a sense of being affirmed and validated. It can be really hard for people to get that these days, since they do often feel disconnected from the in-person aliveness that we had back in the day.
Thanks for the thoughtful post! (But I have to say, I don’t think Amanda Holden ranking her looks at “10″ counts as greatness.)
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Before the New Year
Looks like I too am late to the party, as Lisis say’s I was out and about. Thanks for the incredible number of comments to the post, it has taken me a while just to read through them.
@Coach Rosie
Thanks for finding that last quote, it was one I was going to include but could’t quite remember how it went. “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you.”
@Srinivas
Exactly, everyone is truly great in some aspect they definitely shouldn’t be afraid to share their own unique story wit the world
@Davina, thanks for your kind comments
@Bret: 80/20 you life man and get back some hours my friend. Also some have said it is more difficult to write for children then adults. Yes, she does write children’s literature but then she also inspired a nation, became the richest woman author on the planet and has done incredible things for charity. Not bad for one woman with an idea on a train.
@ Coach Rosie: Don’t stop, I think its great you are getting involved in the discussions. I would love to have readers as passionate and as dedicated as you.
@Jannie” Precisely, If not you then who.
@Patty – Thanks for you comments and I have to agree that Amanda ranking her looks as 10 definitely doesn’t count as greatness but it does give a sense of the inner workings of the lady. Of the confidence she harbours which has probably, along with a lot of luck, been pinnacle to her success.
Thanks to all that have commented and a special thanks to Lisis, I love the coffee house feel of discussion and interaction that has sprung up. great stuff.
“The best and simplest way to fully integrate into society, to help others, be a great husband or wife, raise great kids, run great businesses, do great things, have great experiences and live a great life is to become who you truly are – in other words – TO BE GREAT.”
When we focus on bettering ourselves and our talents, our influence grows a million times over! love it!
diggin the maslow info and the jonah complex, awesome stuff!
Rocky | R O C K O N O V A.COM´s last blog ..There Are Many Paths To The Top Of The Mountain, But The View Is Always The Same
@Jared
I can relate to what you said – what happens when you actually start realizing your dreams? What else do you strive for? I feel as if I’ve been fortunate to have been in that position on several occasions, and each time I find myself developing a new dream, and with it, a new zest and passion that expands me as a human being and keeps propelling me forward. It can be scary, but I’ve noticed that we’re such dynamic beings, there will always be another. And this is nothing but good!
@Jonny
I do. You may now kiss the bride.
Ash´s last blog ..Don’t Make Me Say Staycation
Thanks Jonny (and Lisis) , a great post indeed.
I think the illusive part is the “process” of coming to know that WE ARE (GREAT)… it need not be a process but thats how it plays out in our experience. The PERFORMANCE TARGETS we set for ourselves blind us from the fact that IN TRUTH, WE ALREADY ARE…. for real!!
Christopher Kabamba´s last blog ..Why Not?
Wait… did Jonny and Ash just get engaged? Because that really WOULD be great… and it would change this whole “coffee house” into a more romantic setting!
@ Patty: You brought up a great point… how we consider greatness to be something “out there”, to be worked towards, and attained. We should instead realize it is something we all carry within us. Also the feeling alone vs needing connectedness is a biggie for me… we’re all the same, but we’re each unique… that sort of thing. I fully get both sides of that conundrum, but it still baffles me how they can co-exist at the same time. Have you written on this subject?
@ Rocky: I totally agree. If we improve ourselves we are far more likely to improve what we are sharing with the world.
@ Ash: I do believe there is always something new to look forward to. As long as our happiness doesn’t depend on achieving or acquiring the next thing, there’s nothing wrong with always coming up with new dreams to follow. The process of making them come true makes the journey entertaining.
@ Christopher: When you can realize that you are already all that you need to be, and you are no longer pursuing goals simply for your own gratification or to gain the approval of others, then you are free to dream big and achieve great things that benefit others. At least, that’s been my strategy so far.
LOL @ Lisis! I’m scrolling up looking for the actual proposal!!!????
@Jonny – already been to your webbo – really identified and had fun there. (esp. liked the bit about the basic 3 things you need and the rest is disposable). Will defo revisit and do some ‘@tting’ over there!
@ Rosie: I know it! I was scrolling all over the place! I don’t have any proof these two even know each other, but… you know “kids” these days; courtship in the comments section coffee house may be all that’s required for a blissful engagement.
Lisis,
What a great guest you have here today, and what a message to pass on!
Jonny,
This is good to read. It can be easy to fall into that trap of mediocrity. I’ve been there. Some days, still, I can find myself there, if I’m not deliberate about seeing and believing in what IS possible. And what really makes our world such an amazing place, is that my greatness is different from your greatness – there’s this whole unique-ness each of us bring to the table. So, when we can all connect with that which really touches upon deep meaning for us, we can get to that place of greatness within. And then…we can share that with the world!
Lance´s last blog ..The Upside of Life (And Holiday Celebration!)
[...] Why Do You Fear To Be Great, You Yellowed Bellied Coward? [...]
@ Ash: Score, my years of trying have finally paid off. You cracked under the relentless asking and just said yes. I am so happy I could shoot a puppy.
@ Lisis: I think coffee house courting is the future
@ Lance: Cheers pal
Jonny | thelifething.com´s last blog ..Your Blog Is Awesome and I Am A Shameless Whore – The Risky Second Series
@ Jonny: I may have to object to this wedding, if there will be puppy-shooting involved. And let me just say that I think “I Am A Shameless Whore,” as a post title, doesn’t sound quite the same when the blogger is a woman. So not fair!
Through most of my life I had this idea I was designed to be great or to do great things. Then about 4 years ago I made a series of bad choices and life changed. My grand design changed, or so I thought. The past 4 years has been me losing every material object I owned, struggling with my own identity, and coming to terms with a reality I hadn’t known existed.
Today, at 40, I’m redesigning my life and pursuing my greatness once again. Thanks to blogs such as this one and my forty2fifty blog I’m realizing my dream. Not the original design but the redesigned version.
Great stuff….
jason´s last blog ..Weeble’s Wobble but I won’t fall down
@ Jason: That’s a very powerful story, and lesson you’ve had to learn. I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been to go through those years of “shifting gears” into your new life. It sounds like, as with most life lessons, it may all have been for the best… that you are getting closer to creating a life that feels right and true for you. That has to be a greater reward than any material possession or achievement… I would imagine.
Thanks for sharing your story, and I’m looking forward to checking out your blog!
Your posts always inspire Jonny! Always. I have been thinking about my own greatness lately. What is this life, if it can not be lived in a big way!
I am looking forward to the coming days. It is my desire to live them to the fullest.
[...] Why Do You Fear To Be Great, You Yellow Bellied Coward? [...]
Jonny this is a great post. My wife trained as a mental health nurse so I’ve come across Maslow but I need to do some research myself.
You mentioned Amanda Holden. She isn’t a judge on Pop Idol (that no longer exists in Britain) she is a judge on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ (you have an equivalent). It was on that show that Susan Boyle was discovered. We all expected it to be a joke but her voice is just unbelievable. Susan looks very ordinary but she believed in herself enough to risk public humiliation.
Amanda Holden is beautiful but some people dislike her for no discernible reason. Maybe she is too self confident for them.