How I Stay Thin Despite My Neurotic Aversion to Intentional Exercise, and Obsessive Love of Desserts
December 21, 2009
I get asked how I stay thin fairly regularly, because I make no secret of my likes (sweets) and dislikes (cardio, resistance, and endurance training), and yet I weigh less now than I did before pregnancy.
It is tempting to chock it up to genetics, but that’s not really the case. I have lots of family members who are significantly over weight. I attribute my fortuitous circumstance to Free Will (not willpower, as in denying indulgences, but freedom of choice).
Here’s the deal: this is not rocket science. It is a simple equation.
Calories Consumed must be less than or equal to Calories Burned.
I already know, as a given, I will not burn a lot of calories each day; therefore, I can’t consume very many. That’s it. That’s the whole trick to it.
So, what does this look like in real life?
* Most days, I have two meals. I eat brunch around 10 or 11, and I eat the next meal around 5 or 6. My morning starts with coffee, ’cause I’m Costa Rican, and that’s just how it goes. Since I’m not real active, my body doesn’t need much “fuel” to get through a day. When I used to exercise regularly, I was hungry all the time. The more you burn, the more you get to consume.
* If I must eat between meals, I have “fregetables,” or tea. This means fruits or vegetables, as in stuff that grows in gardens and still looks the same when it is at the grocery store as it did the day it was picked. This does not include any dressings, dipping sauces, or creams… just produce, and tea that still looks like leaves.
* “Goodies” are not on my grocery list, and don’t make it in my cart. At any given time, if you look in my fridge, you will see condiments, eggs, dairy, and produce. My pantry has rice, beans, oats, and pasta (for Hunter). If there is no “junk” in the house, most of the time (especially late at night), I won’t eat it.
* If I must buy “goodies” (when I have visitors), I store them strategically. My refrigeration habits are a bit backwards, because I keep the most perishable stuff, like fregetables, on the racks. Any “junk” (if we have it) is in the drawers at the bottom, or hidden behind things. If I was faced with the goodies every time I opened the fridge, I’d go for them first, on impulse. Hiding them is a preemptive psychological strike.
* I keep a mental calorie “budget”. If I know I will be eating pizza tonight, I consume very little during the day. If today was a “special occasion” (aka: excuse to strap on the feed trough), I’d consume less for the next three to five days. I may pass on the wine to have dessert. I usually take half the meal home (to have dessert). I have only a limited amount of calories to play with, so I “spend” them sparingly.
Keep in mind:
1. I do not own a scale. I gauge my weight based on how my clothes fit (and the occasional doc visit).
2. I don’t have a set number of daily or weekly calories. Count calories? See #1.
3. I eat anything I want, in moderation. My gauge for moderation? See #1.
4. I allow for emotional eating days, knowing I’ll consume extra calories at times.
5. I DON’T allow EVERY day to be an emotional eating day. When my clothes don’t fit like they should, I start to evaluate what is making me want to eat.
6. I don’t mind feeling hungry sometimes. I figure it is because I’m in a calorie deficit (aka: burning fat), and don’t feel the pressing need to immediately remedy the situation.
7. I work hard at staying thin… just not in the “no pain, no gain” sort of way.
8. I have no medical or scientific findings to support my approach, but I really don’t care. Life is too short to worry about every little thing. I’m basically healthy, and I truly despise intentional exercise. I can’t help it.
Basically, the way I stay thin is I constantly choose:
to pass on some things so I can have others;
to limit my portion sizes so I can eat anything;
to reduce temptation by shopping smart;
to fill in the gaps between meals with fregetables;
to embrace my Sedentary Nature, and make it work for me… like the sloth, in Life of Pi:
“The three-toed sloth lives a peaceful, vegetarian life in perfect harmony with its environment. ‘A good-natured smile is forever on its lips,’ reported Tirler (1966). I have seen that smile with my own eyes. I am not one given to projecting human traits and emotions onto animals, but many a time during that month in Brazil, looking up at sloths in repose, I felt I was in the presence of upside-down yogis deep in meditation or hermits deep in prayer, wise beings whose intense imaginative lives were beyond the reach of my scientific probing.” (Yann Martel)
No matter what “they” say, we aren’t all created equal. Some babies have a crazy high metabolism, and are active from day one (like my hubby). Some aren’t quite so high-strung, and enjoy calm, quiet activities (like me).
I’m getting a little tired of constantly being told I NEED daily exercise by people who haven’t learned how to sit still and be at peace. Believe it or not, we don’t all NEED exactly the same things. He who speaks loudest isn’t always right.
What do YOU think?
Is it possible to live a normal, healthy life, enjoying the things we love while avoiding the things we hate… even if what we hate is the holiest of holies that NO ONE can live without, “exercise”?
Or, are you pretty certain I’m doomed to suffer the wrath of the gods for refusing to do as I’m told?
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Posted in Life, about me, balance, choices, simplicity
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Wow. This is quite the interesting post! Nice strategy, I suppose. I will say that I’ve lost over 100 pounds, and the first 50-60 or so was without any exercise whatsoever because I simply wasn’t physically able. After that point, I did start walking on a treadmill but even now that I’ve lost over 100 total, I haven’t done major exercises – I’ve walked, rebounded, and am now a newbie to yoga.
My minimum amount of exercise for the past several years isn’t because I detest it, but because I’ve had to be creative and work around a bad back (from domestic violence) as well as other health issues and surgeries. Now that things are much better, I have considered running and am intrigued to practice yoga on a deeper, more consistent level.
Oh, and I definitely agree food choices play a HUGE role in weight loss/gain/maintenance for sure. I’ve seen that myself in my own experiences.
And, as for your method, as the saying goes: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”
*smiles*
Michele
Hi, Michele! Thank you for your comment. I don’t know the details of your domestic violence situation, but even without them, I am certain it was not a good thing. I’m really sorry you went through whatever it was that kept you from being able to exercise… especially if you enjoyed exercise before!
But, to focus on the positives here, you have brought up a very important point that goes alongside what I’m saying in my post… even if you CAN’T exercise, it is still possible to lose weight. In my case, I could, but choose not to. Some people would love to, but can’t, and often give up the hope of ever being able to lose weight.
As you said, you lost the first significant chunk of weight without any exercise at all, and even now use a modified exercise strategy. I’m not advocating a life of zero physical activity, but I find it encouraging that you can get to a healthier state no matter what your current condition.
Thank you for your contribution here and, more importantly, for being a survivor!!
Heya Lisis! Haha, I need more sugar than I need oxygen, and my body shows it. I’m going to try and put some of this into action – except everyday is emotional eating day for me. I eat when I’m stressed, I eat when I’m happy, I eat when I’m calm. Argh.
Albert, my friend, that’s a whole different can of worms. The only way this system works is if food = fuel (and the occasional… I mean, daily, treat). Once you start using food as comfort, medication, emotional substitute, something to do to pass the time, etc., then I think you’ll find the formula to be a bit heavy on the “Calories Consumed” side… unless you stick with 99% fregetables (odds are, you don’t).
It can still be done, but you’re gonna have to burn some MAJOR calories. That’s my hubby’s approach to this equation. He eats whatever he wants, in large quantities; but then he goes on 7 hour bike rides, and all-day snowshoeing or mountaineering expeditions. Or like Michael Phelps, consuming 12,000 calories per day during the Olympics (because he burned at least that many).
The basic math is sound. You just have to decide which side of the formula you have the most control over, and then get REAL good at maximizing the benefits of that side, so you don’t have to feel so bad about whatever happens on the other side.
Hey Lisis, I loved your article. Your approach to moderation is excellent and not obsessive. Your writing style is wonderful, now you just need to bottle it up and sell it so you don’t have to go to work at a job you don’t like
I agree with most of what you say, but I think the science is becoming clear that a certain type of exercise, no more than 20 minutes a time, as little as 3 times a week is of tremendous benefit regardless of your metabolism. It keeps your lung and heart capacities high. The grueling and boring 45 minutes of cardio is clearly not the best approach. Marathon runners die of heart attacks because their hearts do not have maximum capacity. Proper exercise should not be geared toward burning fat. That’s a losing proposition.
Humans were made to move so we should stand up and move a lot more. I love to read and I try to stand up and even just walk around my house while I’m reading. I don’t even know I’m doing it. It has just become an automatic behavior now and I know it’s better than sitting on my ass in the recliner for hours on end. Sometimes I just stand outside in the sun and read.
So do you “need” exercise? What’s your definition of “need”? I’m a horrible procrastinator and I quick exercising this year after only making it through about 4 weeks. I hate it. But I think I need it to live an optimal kind of life, so I’m going to start it again and I’m committed to stick with it. It really does take very little time.
Hi Lisis,
I think the important thing is to figure out what works for you. Nobody has the perfect solution for everyone, it’s an individual thing. I respect the fact that you are aware of all the factors involved, and they are all taken into consideration. That’s as realistic as it gets.
We are all different. So it’s up to each of us to design an approach that harmonizes with our lifestyle, fitness goals, and activity level. If everyone used the same degree of common sense as you have, the human race would weigh billions of tons less than they currently do. Thanks for your realistic and reasonable example.
Hey, Stephen! Seriously, huh? If I could bottle up my moderation, we might be able to solve all kinds of problems stemming from extremes!
Maybe it all comes down to the difference between exercise and activity. Certainly, getting up, moving around, doing things… chores, walking, playing with kids, seems to be beneficial to just about everyone. There’s a line somewhere, Stephen, and I don’t know exactly where it is, but crossing over into that side of excessive workouts is rarely considered as awful and crossing over into my side, of not enough workouts.
I just want some parity of treatment, is all. We all agree extremes are awful, and the perfect balance is probably ideal, but most of us exist just this side or that side of the perfect combo of nutrition and exercise. My feeling is, if you err on the side of exercise, you will be forgiven (pehaps even praised). If you err on the side of being sedentary, you will be scolded, lectured, and made to feel inferior.
It just doesn’t seem right, is all. I don’t know how to change it, but I’m tired of feeling “less than” for being on my side of the “tracks.”
Don’t know, really… I just throw these thoughts out there and see what bubbles to the surface. It never ceases to amaze me.
Thanks for stopping by, Stephen!!
Hey, Jonathan! You snuck your comment in just as I was replying to Stephen, but I think my answer to him applies to yours as well. It’s about moderation, and finding something that works for each of us, and lets us feel good about ourselves. Live and let live, right?
I found some notes my mom wrote a long time ago, about my dad, and one thing she said stayed with me: “I love him for who he is, and I love him for who he isn’t.” That’s what I want… for all of us to be appreciated for the things we do well, regardless of the things we fall short on.
Thanks for your comment, my friend. Happy holidays!!!
I love the rhythm that you’ve found. What works for you won’t work for someone else. Too many people say how do you do this or that, but even if they would follow your outline it wouldn’t work for them. They created habits that are hard to break.
We all need to find what works best for us. I like how you are aware of the calories. If you are going to eat a pizza at night then stay away from rich foods the rest of the day. So simple, but for many hard to follow.
I came via Lance’s blog. Jungle of Life. Glad that I did. Hope you have a grrrrreat holiday.
I’m glad that works for you. Though I’m diabetic, I’m really tied in to my sugar addiction strongly. So my wife and I have worked in small amounts of sweets with my 5 or 6 small meals a day routine. That works in keeping glucose low, but only if I work out do I really lose any weight.
I applaud you for your mental strength.
Lisis,
Great post! I love how you are sure about your approach to Life. I agree with you on the perspective that each person is different as well as the fact that you can experience a fulfilling life doing exclusivelly what you enjoy doing. I always have disagreed with the motto of “No pain no gain”
However, what I have experienced directly is that evolution has decided to provide pleasure to living beings when they make sex or exercise because these activities are critical to the survival of the species… Because of this I would guess that maybe you have not sought for the kind of exercise that you might enjoy. Exercise doesn’t have to be going to a Gym. It might be walking at the beach, running after your kids, dancing, etc.
Aha, I didn’t know you were a Tica! So what are these deserts you eat? You seem to be very healthy. I just lost 2kg by cutting the choc bars I buy down from the 25og size to 125g. I love the stuff:)
@ Karl and Mitch: Welcome to Q4B! You both are pointing to a very important truth about all this, and that is… what works for me may not work for you. In fact, in Mitch’s case, being diabetic, my level of sweets consumption could be downright dangerous. But as you’ve suggested, if you love sweets, cutting them out altogether would be completely miserable. So YOU have found a way to keep a little sugar in your life… and sometimes that’s all it takes… just a little bit.
@ Boris: I’m not sure of too many things in life, but I do feel certain that I know what is best for ME better than anyone else does. I feel in tune with my body and my surroundings, and I tend to pay attention to my intuition.
As for evolutionary needs… the sex that is required to maintain survival of our species is probably about 10% of the sex that actually takes place (precisely because that rush of endorphins is not only necessary, but addictive.) I would argue that the exercise we need to stay healthy, active and productive is maybe 20 or 30% of what is commonly believed… the rest is addiction, habit, myth, vanity, fun, whatever.
So, are sex and basic levels of activity necessary for our survival? Probably. Are the levels we advocate necessary? Probably not. We each get to decide just how many “sexercise” endorphins we’d like to create each day… and how.
@ Annabel: I am definitely a Tica, with most of my family still there. I’m sure that has a lot to do with my laid back approach to stuff others stress out about. What desserts? Hm… well, I love, love, love Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (though I am careful not to consume more than 1/4 of the pint at a time). I love cakes and frosting, and anything chocolatey, and really sweet coffee, and pies and cobblers and custards and… (I could go on forever).
If I thought I could get away with it, I’d eat only desserts… and maybe bread and cheese. When I turn 60, I’m switching to that diet.
“My refrigeration habits are a bit backwards, because I keep the most perishable stuff, like fregetables, on the racks.” oh, good, it’s not just me
now, if only i could figure out that balance of calories in vs. burned……
@Lisis: Yes, the details are horrific. I will spare you the mental picture.
I do appreciate your very sweet words. And, yes, it is so fascinating that we can lose weight – even if time or physical ability keeps us from exercising!
Oops! That was supposed to be our.
Excellent post! Keeping the diet plan simple and ensuring that our calorie intake is less than the calories we burn, is a great way to consistently reduce weight and stay slim. And all this with a sedentary lifestyle! Keep up the great posts!
@ Skigirlchar: Well, I’m glad to see I’m not alone in my refrigeration strategy! As for the equation… that is yet another quest for balance that eludes so many.
@ Michele: You know where to find me, if you ever want to talk. Take care, hon!
@ Vijay: Hey, Sweets! I haven’t seen you in a while! Glad you liked it. I had a few people scold me about the fact that being thin is not the same as being healthy… which may be true, but the title of the post is “How I Stay THIN..” right? All around health is a bigger mystery still! Having said that, I can’t complain… I’m pretty happy with my healthiness level, for now.
Hey Lisis, you’re on to something here. You have a system that is simple and painless. That’s wonderful, because so many of us struggle with the problem of body weight, and of course in most cultures body weight is tied to our entire definition of ourselves.
Thanks once again for your practical wisdom!
Enjoy the holidays!
k
Hi, Kaushik! It’s true… so many people struggle with their weight, and then are judged unfairly for it. I figure, if we can just get the ball rollling… just get people started in a positive direction, hopefully they will start to feel better and take even more actions to improve their lifestyle.
We’ve got to start somewhere, right? Happy holidays, my friend!
Hi Lisis, great post! I am also much skinnier now then I was before I had my son and no, it is not genetics. I don’t diet but I naturally eat very healthy. I think mental attitude plays a huge role here. I know that in my mind I simply won’t accept a picture of myself being overweight or unhealthy and my actions naturally follow as a result.
Recently I decided to increase my energy levels and started visualizing myself feeling full of energy the whole day even when I had just a few hours of sleep at night. What came out of that was a decision to try a raw food diet. Never even thought about it before but it felt so natural and right thing to do that I gave it a try. The first thing I noticed just few days after going on such diet is increase in my energy. I can sleep only 4-5 hours at night now and still feel good during the day.
I think it all starts in the mind. Once your mind believes in something, it will naturally direct your actions in order to get to the desired outcome.
First time commenting but have been reading your blog for awhile now. Thanks for a great content you give here!
Hi, Lana! Oh, I am so glad you commented ’cause I got to connect with you on twitter and facebook. I noticed from your profile that you also attended GSU! I finished my MBA there in 98. Wasn’t it weird, going to class right in the middle of downtown Atlanta? It was cool… but different. I did my undergrad in San Diego, right near the beach. Funny how each school has its own personality.
Anyway, I completely agree with what you are saying here… it all starts in the mind. You HAVE to believe that something is possible before you can actually make it so. I’m like you in that I simply do not accept the idea of buying the next size up of clothes. It isn’t even out of vanity, I just feel I was meant to be THIS size. If I put on weight, something is out of balance.
I know lots of people who LOVE the raw food diet. I don’t know if I could ever part with baked goods, breads and pizza, but I’m glad it works for you! That’s the bottom line, isn’t it? Find a system that works for you and helps you achieve what you consider is important.
Thanks for commenting, Lana! It’s great to “meet” you!
Hi Lisis, wow, small world! You are right going to school in downtown Atlanta is weird
My first school was in Russia where I am originally from, so coming to US and attending GSU was a completely different and in some ways shocking experience. I really enjoyed it though.
Anyway that was so off topic:) I am glad to be connected with you on social networks and look forward to reading and commenting more here. I didn’t go 100% raw by the way, may be about 75%, giving up some sweets would be really tough:) It still works to get the result that I needed, just like you said.
Great to meet you too, Lisis, and have a very Merry Christmas!
Thisis exactly how I keep so thin. People think its odd, yes, I have a high metabolism to start with, but I also don’t sit around eating all the time. I tend to have coffee for breakfast, and because I am mostly sedentary (I work at an office) I tend to have a light lunch and then a supper meal. I offset eating junk (like at Christmas) by having meals of salads without more than a mist of dressing and often choose snacks of veggies and fruits for myself (and my children)…
My ex husband could NEVER figure out how come I never packed on the pounds when he did… well… we’re different, his body needed exercise to lose weight, whenever he became sedentary, even when he cut down on his calories and consumed healthier, he would start to gain. My body doesn’t need the obsessive exercise… I try to do a little each day (hard to get out and walk when its -40C, though) even if it is only while cleaning my house.
What works for some (obsessive exercise) doesn’t always work as well for others…
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Hi, Pam! While I know that everyone is different, it sure is nice to hear from someone who is using basically this same approach to life. When everyone I know is an obsessive exerciser, or complete couch potato, I can’t help but feel like a bit of an oddball. But the fact is, there are lots of us oddballs around… people who have figured out what it takes to have the lifestyle they want, and know it is not to be found in the extremes.
Welcome to Q4B, and thanks for the vote of confidence!!
Lisis, that’s really awesome that you’ve found a balance that works for you. I have to disagree with the whole sloth thing. The hunter gatherer analogy is more accurate but the gatherer has always been a rather under appreciated task. It too is a very labor intensive role and requires a certain level of fitness. I have a distinct feeling that you’re more active than your post lets on.
In any case, you make a very important point.
As a professional in the fitness industry I’ve come to believe that one of the primary reasons why people fail so frequently in their goals is that they simply have the wrong goals.
All too often people are pressured by the media and so called conventional wisdom that they lose touch with who they are and what nature intended for them.
I wrote post on a relating topic and included you as an example. I hope you don’t mind. You can check it out here:
http://www.trueselfmartialarts.com/content/working-out-should-be-banned
Hey, Nhan! Thanks for stopping by here. If it makes you feel any better, my hubby is a health nut (like you) and tells me this same stuff all the time. Don’t you worry, I get my fair share of lectures from well-meaning fitness types.
I really don’t know what the right answer is, or if there is a right answer for everyone, but I do know that negative reinforcement (as in: “you’re a loser if you don’t work out enough or look a certain way”) is just not likely to help. Like in all things, the key lies in finding the right balance for each of us.
I totally appreciate you sharing the link to that post. I haven’t read it yet (I’m about to) but I like the title already!
Lisis,
I didn’t really intend to lecture, I actually agree with much of your approach. It’s more a matter of perspective I suppose.
As far as my health nuttiness, it’s true that I like to be active and all that but I totally get that lifestyle has a huge potential for variation from person to person and that negative reinforcement is more damaging than anything.
Anyway, thanks for visiting my blog, the comment is much appreciated!
No worries… I actually meant “lecture” in the sense of a constant reminder. I know when my hubby and friends “inform” me of the importance of exercise, it’s a bit like the dentist telling reminding me I should floss all the time. They know I know, but feel it’s important to tell me anyway because they want what is best for me.
Anyway, I LOVE what you are doing with your blog. I’m very excited to see where it will take you. Any time you want to guest post here, you have an open invitation.
Thanks!
That’s very cool, I’d love to take you up on the guest post opportunity!
Came over from Nhan’s place for this post. LOVE IT. I can really relate to sloth. I too find wealth in a quiet body mode. I too eat real food, i.e. that which looks like it did when it was growing. It’s hard to buck all the “health” trends but I manage.
Hey, Trish! Thanks for checking in here… that Nhan guy is really something, huh? I’d give anything to have his level of energy. But… since I don’t… I’m going to have to stick to my little sloth routine. The main thing, though, is sticking to real foods. Or, if we want to be trendy about it… WHOLE FOODS (though I can’t afford to shop there!).
Oh Whole Foods. You just have to budget yourself to shop there. I get my produce at Whole Foods and the rest of it elsewhere (where the reasonable prices are).
Anyway, I loved this. I’ve struggled with pulling off the weight I gained from lack of common sense and this resonates. I love to walk. I even love to run. My asthma likes to kick in just when the going gets good, mind you. So maybe it’s time to just enjoy my strolls and not expect a hardcore cardio workout from it.
Thanks!
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Hey, Amanda! I’m sure I’m the LEAST qualified person to give any fitness advice but, in general, I’d say just enjoy the strolls. If you get some cardio out of the deal, great. If not… oh well. Constantly focusing on the workout and calories burned just sounds like no fun at all to me.
[...] and EKG all came back squeaky clean. I’m fit as a fiddle (contrary to all probability, given my lifestyle). This was great news, but didn’t answer the question of why I felt like I was [...]
Great post with lots of food for thought – pun intended!
I’m sort of lucky that I can get rid of weight farily quickly as I excersice a lot but the downside is when I stop it goes back on quickly!
Well, staying thin has never been easy for me. But recently I was able to lose about 25 pounds when my husband convinced me to practice martial arts with him. We went to karate class three times a week and it turned into a very fun experience for me.
Training with my husband also inspired me to watch my diet. And I did it by reading the fat content label of almost food product I ate. Saturday was my day to relax and cheat a little on my diet. But overall, it was a great experience and a fast way to drop my 25 pounds.
Best,
Mary
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If I must buy “goodies” (when I have visitors), I store them strategically.
I do this too..we have to be smart about this one, i do it in a somewhat out of reach area or my neighbors fridge if I have too
Sometimes, strenuous exercise makes you want to eat more than the regular amount of food that you take. In my case, the more I get exhausted the more I want to eat, that’s why I stick on my sauna suit.
It’s interesting that your diet involves 2 main meals with optional “fregetables” in between. Most diet advice I’ve read encourage 5 small meals throughout the day. Glad it’s working for you. What worked for me was to wean myself off sugar laden desserts and beverages on a week to week basis. I found my tolerance for foods I considered “too sweet” to get lowered as time passed. So it’s much easier for me now to limit my caloric intake.
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