Inspiration from Kurt Vonnegut: Life Beyond Computers
January 24, 2010
[This is a quote from a 2005 interview. Vonnegut shares a story about telling his wife he's going out to buy an envelope.]
“Oh,” she says, “well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?”
And so I pretend not to hear her.
And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope.
I meet a lot of people.
And see some great looking babes.
And a fire engine goes by.
And I give them the thumbs up.
And I ask a woman what kind of dog that is.
And… and I don’t know.
The moral of the story is, is we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that.
And, what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around.
And, we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.
*
I love the internet… perhaps a little too much
Recently I went to see the movie Avatar and found myself in an absolute depression for a few days after that. Why? Because I recognized that my life was becoming like Jake’s.
Sure, the scenery in the movie is beautiful (it looks a lot like Costa Rica), and the story line is sweet, yet predictable (the boy turns against his own clan when he realizes what they are doing is wrong and that the other side has feelings, too). It’s been done.
There was that moment of idealistic optimism when I allowed myself to dream that the peace-loving naturalists would one day defeat the big, bad bullies, with just their bows and arrows, flying lizards, and passionate hearts.
There was all that sappy, movie-going stuff.
But under that, there was a guy who was not entirely happy with life and who, when he plugged into his virtual world, discovered a paradise he didn’t want to leave. The more time he spent there, the more he identified with his virtual friends and their way of thinking. He felt he was a part of something… he was important… he felt SEEN.
He started neglecting his “real” life, barely taking time to eat or sleep or shower or shave or… anything. He couldn’t wait to get back to Pandora, his perfect world.
Most of us have our own version of Pandora now
Kids get lost in their video games, not noticing the hours of the day slipping away. Grownups disappear into their blogging and social media networks, taking on any identity they want. Some may even be earning a living that way, so they have a “valid” excuse for why they haven’t seen the sun in three days, or a flesh-and-blood friend in three months.
Not that our virtual lives aren’t REAL, because they are. After all, anything our mind believes is real, is real. Period.
But, real or not, do we really want them to be our ONLY lives? Or even our PRIMARY lives?
Are we consciously choosing to let our non-virtual lives slip away as we amuse ourselves to death?
If so… great!
Enjoy your stay in Pandora.
In my case, No! I do not want to prefer my virtual life, tempting as it is, since I can create it exactly the way I want it. Call me old-fashioned, but I still think there’s beauty in the imperfections of this world. (I’m not even sure what to call THIS world anymore… since they are both real!)
As always, in my opinion, it comes down to Balance
We each have to find the sweet spot that works best given our set of circumstances. But are we being honest in our assessments? Are we down-playing the importance of our virtual lives, and under-estimating the amount of time we spend there? Are we fully aware of the things, and people, we unintentionally neglect?
At the end of each day, are we proud of how we spent our waking hours?
Do we have no regrets?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got some fine-tuning to do. I want BOTH of my worlds to feel like Pandora so I don’t find myself choosing one at the expense of the other.
What about you?
Are you spending your time on what matters most to you?
***
January 25 Update: In a strange twist of fate, this morning (Monday) I found myself following Mr. Vonnegut’s example. It was one of those things where I had to send X,Y, and Z to the Georgia Department of Revenue… or ELSE. We have one car, and Jeff takes it to work. So, I walked to the library to get copies of everything, then to the post office to snail mail part of it, then to the Pack and Send to fax the rest of it.
Clearly it would have been better to go JUST to the Pack and Send, but I was hopeful that one of the other two would let me fax, since they are much closer to my house. When it was said and done, I walked all over this village for about an hour and a half… I noticed something else. NOBODY walks anymore. People drove by looking at me like I was crazy because I was obviously out doing errands instead of jogging (or some other socially sanctioned reason not to be in a car).
Anyway, I had myself a little non-virtual adventure today. 
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Excellent post. Excellent.
I definitely fall on the side of devaluing virtual life. In my mind, the primary value of a thoughtful virtual life is to enhance an active corporeal life (I can’t bring myself to use the term “non-virtual life.” It seems a bit…loaded).
I think my challenge is to find value in contributions that are created and realized entirely online. It seems superficial to me. But I wonder if that’s just my age talking. Does my old fashion sense of contribution fail to recognize a brave, new world along with brave, new methods to exchange value?
Probably.
To answer your question, yes. I do spend my time on what matters most to me. I don’t mean to suggest there’s no room for improvement. It’s astonishing how much time I can waste reviewing the latest task management apps. But my virtual to corporeal ratio as it currently stands sits well with me.
I’m curious. What will your fine tuning entail?
Nelia´s last blog ..Life Is a Buffet.
Nelia, you lucky, lucky girl, you! You are still fortunate enough to be able to think of the internet as a tool that enhances your reality, rather than an integral part of it.
It’s amazing to me that a year ago I did not even know what a blog was, and I checked emails no more than once each week. Ali and I corresponded by email once a month, or so. Back then the internet was a virtual library, virtual dictionary, and a tool for buying what I needed and having it delivered to my house.
Today it’s a different story entirely. My virtual community (my blog, theirs, our email communications) has become a big part of who I am. I’ll be talking a bit more about my fine tuning in the next post, but mostly I’ll be working it out during the next few months.
Stay tuned!
Hi Lisis,
This is so well written. And I think you are hitting upon something that is very true. That “pandora” for us, whatever it is, there can reach a point of “too much of a good thing”.
Perhaps I have some fine tuning to do, too. In fact, I’m sure of it. And it is all real, because it’s our life we are living out…however we are choosing to do that.
Lisis, your words today have me really thinking about my life, and what it is that truly matters…thank you, very deeply, for speaking the truth in such a beautiful way.
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day
Hey, Lance! This post definitely will be easier to relate to for those of us who pretty much LIVE online these days. But I do think everyone has their own version of that “other world” even if it isn’t online. Maybe it’s work, or a hobby, or anything else that consumes most of our waking thoughts. I definitely think there can be too much of a good thing, and it needs to be considered carefully.
What are we willing to sacrifice in pursuit of Pandora?
Thanks for being here.
You’re right. I do notice sometimes that I get caught up in reading emails etc. and just need to stop, shut it down and find something else to do. Its so easy to get sucked in.
Hi, Charity! We were just talking about whether you should start a blog or not. I’m thinking, if you are already getting sucked in to this wormhole, then you should set up your limits ahead of time… BEFORE you start a blog. That way, once you start it, you can’t break the rules you made when you still had your priorities in order.
This is definitely something to think about. I had this whole analogy about “breathe in, breathe out” written here, but it fell apart as I was writing it out, so I erased it.
I try to find a balance between the virtual world and the physical world, but it’s not always easy. I go outside and play whenever I can, and do my online stuff whenever I can’t get outside for one reason or another (bad weather, stuck at work, etc.) In that way, I’m able to have adventures; and also able to share those adventures with my online friends.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Acceptance
Jay, how is it that you are always so much more balanced than I am? Maybe I tend to over-focus in all directions. I just need to sprinkle a bit of Jay common sense on things and let it all sort itself out.
PS: I’m sure the analogy would have been brilliant.
Not only am I more balanced than you, I’m also way more serene, too
The analogy was this: The outside world, the physical world, that’s where I breathe in. That’s where I have experiences, learn things, assimilate information. The virtual world is where I breathe out: I talk about my experiences, share them, express myself.
It falls apart, because I do a fair amount of learning and “experiencing” online, too, and I do a fair amount of sharing or expressing in the physical world. So, while it’s a good start, it’s not a really good analogy. Pity, too…cause I’m usually so much better at those things
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Acceptance
Recently, I received an email, which read in part: You know you are living in the year 2009 when:
1) You email the person who works at the desk next to you.
2) Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is 3) that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
4) You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
Humorous perhaps but very true.
A Harvard lecturer is quoted as having said “there is a psychological encounter that can only happen when two people share the same physical space.” The Human Moment is a term coined for this encounter and “it is a quality of interaction that you don’t get through technology”
Christopher, that email is sad, but true (and funny at the same time!). I’ve noticed something similar in teens, too. They’d rather each be in their own homes, hooked up via XBOX Live, or texting, than be in the same room together. A LOT has changed since I was a teen!
But you are absolutely right, there is something about sharing physical space that is completely different than virtual interaction. In some ways, virtual relationships can seem more fulfilling, because we idealize them in our imagination with none of those “real world” pesky faults. On the other hand, there is an almost chemical… biological… molecular connection that takes place in person that cannot be replicated any other way.
It’s kind of like… Vitamin D that we absorb from the sun through our skin (like when I didn’t live in a frozen tundra) is infinitely better for us than any lab-created facsimile.
The Human Moment… I like that!
Oh Lisis,
Youve hit something big here…I really struggle with this…online offline thing.
I love my online reality and i love my real reality too…but somehow striking a balance between the two can be hard sometimes.
I make it a point to give both my all…but i invariably end up feeling guilty for missing something somewhere…
On most days i can balance..but on days i cant..wow ..i need loads of coffee then..:)
But its a process..me being aware of this is the first step…i just know the rest will happen in time…
My Pandora is in my heart….when my heart is happy I am…be it online or offline..
Much Love,
Z~
That’s a lovely way to think about it, Z. Pandora is in your heart, so you can be happy anywhere. The trouble comes when we become like Jake, and we start preferring to be in the world that doesn’t include The Human Moments Chrisopher described. Whether it’s online, or locked up in a lab, or spending days in a studio, or whatever it is… we need to make the conscious effort to nurture our real life connections.
This is particularly important for those of us with younglings running around. One of the reasons I chose the picture above was it reminded me of people who think they are spending quality time with their kids simply because they are in the same house, or the same room. But when our mind is elsewhere, there really isn’t much bonding going on. You know?
I think I just need to tame my mind (easier said than done) so that, when I’m offline, my body AND mind are present in whatever else I’m doing. I need to put a leash on my Monkey Mind.
This is a very thought-provoking post for me. I often am out of balance when it comes to my real world compared to my virtual world. I spend a lot of time in the blogosphere and I’m not always participating. Mostly I’m just reading, reading, reading. When I’m not reading blogs, I’m on Facebook and Twitter. I like to connect with people and at the time most of the people I want to connect with are online friends. Does that seem sad? Maybe, but I have gained so much wisdom from my virtual world. That being said, I still need balance. I need to get out more and I need to get other things done around the house. I got a little long winded here, but I’m glad that you have helped me see the importance of striking a balance. Thank you.
Jill´s last blog ..Scuba TV
Question. Why does is show that my last blog post was this Scuba TV thing? Odd.
Jill´s last blog ..Scuba TV
I know what you mean, Jill… the reading is addictive. I have a few blogs I frequent, then I’ll run into a good link on facebook or twitter, then I see a comment that intrigues me so I click over to that person’s blog, then there’s Stumble Upon, which can always be counted on to distract me with great content. Before you know it, where’s the day gone?
It has become too easy to click my days away. The clicking sound is my new “tick-tock” as my count down continues. I wonder, if I knew I’d die by the end of this year, would I spend my days the same way?
The answer may be Yes, because (as you said) this experience has been so enriching and fulfilling.
PS: The Scuba TV thing is a creative spammer. I’ve seen it on a few blogs this morning.
Well… in “real life” I’m a psychic so…..
And who says real life is not virtual?
But this is an awesome post. Balance. Yup.
Thanks for your contribution to all my lives
Very good point, Trish… so very Matrix of you. Perhaps the “real” world is completely virtual anyway, and I’m just choosing between two different chat rooms, if you will.
This is definitely an argument for neither being better or worse than the other, so it’s really just a matter of deciding how much of each day I want to allot to each one. Or perhaps, I’ll create a THIRD reality.
Well stated. It’s easy to get sucked up into the virtual world. I’m more apt to do it with video games than blogging actually. Luckily I have this little alarm clock that tells me when to check back into reality. The alarm goes like this, “Daddy, play with me.” And just like that, I know my time is up in the virtual world, and I jump back into reality.
Eric | Eden Journal´s last blog ..A Choice and a Purpose; Entering this Earthly Realm
Haha! Good point, Eric… video games are yet another Pandora that one can easily get sucked into. You are my HERO for not only hearing your little alarm, but actually heeding the call. If you can still do that, you’re doing just fine.
I love your take on the movie, but you didn’t mention the fact that Jake’s legs didn’t work and he didn’t have love. In Pandora his legs worked and he was loved by a beautiful Princess. I think he made the right choice. Choosing love is seldom a bad choice. Vonnegut said in the quote, “We’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around.” That’s the point Jake’s decision makes.
I also like Trish’s point–who says real life isn’t virtual? Ha! I think for those of us whose dancing days are over, and I’m one of them, virtual life and love can be just as sweet as the ‘real’ deal.
[That comment luv bit below about the Maryland Zoo does not belong to me. I just ran into the same thing on David's blog and have no idea why I'm picking up someone else's links.]
Brenda (betaphi)´s last blog ..Maryland Zoo partners with the B&O Railroad, Maryland Science Center, and Port Discovery for the Months of January and February.
Hey, Brenda! Oh, I definitely would’ve made the same choice Jake did, given his options. But the things is, he actually HAD the choice to become fully part of that other world, so he wouldn’t ever have to UNplug. No matter what we have going on in our lives (things we wish we could change) we’re kinda stuck with them.
For those of us who can’t move to Pandora, I think it’s best to find ways to create great lives we DO enjoy (find love, dance, whatever it takes)… which reminds me of Jay’s last post, about Acceptance. Have you read that?
Still, I know of MANY instances in which a 90% virtual life is the best option. I suppose each person just has to decide what mix is appropriate for their situation. I used to be a 10% online person. Then my pendulum shifted a little too far. I think I’d like to be a 70 – 30 gal, or something like that.
What can I say? I’m a perpetual work in progress (more work than progress, it seems!).
Great post, Lisis.
I love Vonnegut and this quote makes me love him even more.
I’ve toyed with the idea of abandoning blogging, twitter, and facebook altogether – getting out of the virtual world and only focusing on the ‘real’ world and real world interactions. I’ve done a ‘digital detox’ for a week, and whenever I go on vacation I unplug completely. Always an amazing experience.
Maybe it’d be extreme to leave the virtual world altogether, but it is very tempting! I think I’d have greater peace of mind, greater sense of focus, but I would miss my online buddies, and perhaps by unplugging from the online world I would be dismissing the modern world and what is relevant now.
I think it takes great will power to be able to hop online for a set amount of time and then just get up and walk away to experience the real joys in life – face time with friends, family, and chance encounters with strangers and nature.
Oh, and I really like your take on ‘Avatar’ – had only really considered the social & ecological injustices, not the escapist POV so much. Thanks for bringing that aspect to light!
Liz´s last blog ..my dad’s (local & upcycled) handiwork
Thanks, Liz! I was a little worried about sharing my POV on Avatar, since everyone is so giddy about the movie. But the fact is, it bummed me out for all the reasons I mentioned, so I figured it was worth sharing.
As for the rest of your comment, one of my blogging friends recently did something like this (Hayden, from Through the Illusion). She has walked away from her blog, but is staying on social media and still interacting on other blogs. Her approach seems very tempting to me, and I figure at some point, I’ll probably do the same… when I run out of things to share.
A complete unplugging would be a bit extreme, I think, because like you said, this is a big part of the real world today. Like it or not, life is more plugged in now. It’s up to each of us to find the right balance. “Digital Detox” is a great way to start.
Lisis,
This is a very thought provoking post. I was just thinking about this last night as I found myself at home on a saturday night after spending all day working on a project with another blogger. I was jokingly telling a friend that I was starting to feel like Paul Rudd in the movie “I love you man.” I have plenty of friends but many are married,settled, etc.
I have to admit that the emotional support and connection I’ve found in this virtual world of bloggers was what carried me through the last 8 months of unemployment. It’s fueled a great deal of my personal growth. That being said, I much more prefer to talk people in person or actually talk to them then connect with them in this virtual pandora we’ve created. I guess somewhere in our Quest for Balance, we almost lose our connection to the physical world. I’m with you. Once I get my income on autopilot, I won’t be sitting around chatting with people online and spending so much of my life in this pandora.
That’s exactly what makes this Pandora so compelling, Srini… it’s a wonderful place. When we go online we can connect with like-minded people from all over the world. We get to choose when to interact (whenever we feel like it) and when to step away. We get support from others when we are going through tough times, and we get to help others when they are. Oh, and if there’s someone that rubs us the wrong way… no problem: UNfriend. Just like that.
Compared to Pandora, the real world demands so much more from us… patience, understanding, compromise, frustration, dealing with people who will never “get” who we are, having days when we see no people at all. It’s much harder to make all the pieces of the puzzle fit together when we aren’t controlling all the variables… which is why we slowly, willingly, start losing the connection.
Anyway, it’s just food for thought, I suppose. Stuff to keep in mind during our Quest.
Hi Lisis,
Beautiful post. It is interesting to read this considering the morning that I have had. Sunday is when we go out and do our errands. We first went to Whole Foods which was a lot of fun. Everyone was just happy and we just loved the energy of the place.
Then a few hours later, we went to a regular supermarket to pick up something that can only be found there. It was such a depressing experience. People were so lifeless and angry it was so sad to observe. It made us feel like we were from another world.
I think the reason why people find solace in the virtual world is because people are more inclined to be more open online than in real life. Let’s face it, people are very scared these days and so human interactions are not what they used to be.
When I was a kid, we knew all our neighbors and did things as a community. That does not happen anymore. In my development, no one talks to each other. Every one just keep secluded and does their own thing. If you try to talk to them as we have, they just run in the other direction because people want their privacy.
I think if people became more open to one another in their communities, then the virtual world would not be as appealing.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Forgiveness in a Paper Cut
Hmm… interesting observation, Nadia! I wonder why the Whole Foods shoppers are visibly happier than the other store’s shoppers? There’s probably a blog post in there somewhere, if you can figure that out.
I do know what you mean about real world communities disappearing. I wonder if we lost them because we are online now, or if we turned to the internet to replace the communities we lost?
Boy, you’re just FULL of thought-provoking ideas today. Consider yourself my Muse!
Well…I am honored to be your Muse!
I think the visible difference at Whole Foods goes to the difference in how people look at things. For example, most people at Whole Foods are environmentalists or vegans or vegetarians or people who care about what they eat who are cool with spending a bit more if it means better food. People who shop there usually are of the same mindset.
As for communities, I don’t know what happened. I think people just became more secluded and distrusting of strangers. It could be because people became more inclined to sue one another over junk that added to the fear and distrust.
When I was in law school, I remember reading a case where a doctor helped a stranger and then sent the stranger a bill for the services. The stranger claimed that the doctor was just being a good samaritan and should have not sent a bill. The court agreed with the doctor. So when you have crap like that happening, it is not surprising that people are cautious of one another and that may make the Internet more appealing due to the privacy aspect.
By the way, apologies on the lengthy comments. It is just that this subject fascinates me.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Forgiveness in a Paper Cut
Great post! I love Vonnegut!
Positively Present´s last blog ..words to live by: live like we’re dying
Thanks, Dani! He’s always been one of my faves.
And you called my post “brilliant”? Lisis, I’ve been doing this since 1989, and I’m still waiting for the novelty to wear off. It does, now and then, but there’s always something new and shiny to explore in my “Pandora.” Still, it’s not the obsession it once was, and I think I’ve found a better balance. Well…mostly. But both realities (this one isn’t less real – and there’s the thing – if you’re not “real,” what does that make me?) This one lets us travel and experience other cultures and communicate with people we’d never meet in person. It broadens our view of the world – sometimes to its detriment, but mostly that just makes us see things differently and helps us understand things differently. It’s not better, or worse – and it’s not the same. We can’t neglect the people offline, though. And we should go out and buy an envelope now and then.
Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..WHOSE Money are You Making Online?
Haha! That’s exactly right. I may just walk to the Post Office, at the other end of Main Street today, and buy myself an envelope. Heck, I may even put something in it and snail-mail it to someone… just on principle!
I’m so impressed that you’ve been doing this for 10 years! I’ve been at it for ONE year and my emotions have been stretched so thin you can practically see through them! But it’s been good, really… just a new kind of good that I’m having to figure out how to fit in, side-by-side with my old life.
When you think about it, it’s a pretty great problem to have: I love both my real life and my Pandora life enough to want to stay in each full time! I really am searching for that balance, though.. and I believe I’ll settle into it soon enough.
Thanks for being here, Holly!
Well you sure do know how to make a girl think about things, Chicka!
I’m with Nadia. A main reason I think the blogosphere has exploded and more people are spending more time online is the community aspect that is missing from a lot of people’s “other real world” and the inclination to be more open and authentic online. I’ve had more than a few commenters leave a comment in the past saying they feel much more able to be themselves online than in the offline world. That’s sad in my opinion.
There seems to be a lot of people too scared to be themselves. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s driven by society and the media. We’re all expected to be perfect, look young, have money, be thin, be cool, not act crazy and don’t even think of wearing something bold and different or you’ll end up on the worst dressed list. The interesting thing is, we’re all encouraged to be unique but we get punished for it (and it’s not just those in the public eye that get punishd for it either).
Great post Lisis. I’ll be giving it some more thought.
Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..Kick Arse Question – Be Like Steve
Hey, Sami! Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. I had myself a little adventure this morning (see the update at the end of the post).
I love the point you’ve made here about how we are all encouraged to be unique and find our own way but, when we do, we are criticized for it. I wonder why that is? Kinda like with celebrities… we build them up so we can tear them down and watch them fall. “People are strange, when you’re a stranger.”
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The point you are making is so important in todays day and age. Spending too much time with technology is really like an epidemic. Sometimes, you see people out at a restaurant texting on their cell phones instead of talking to each other. And the kids with the video games is a major problem–not just in terms of social interaction but also in terms of physical health! I agree that balance is always the key!
lena´s last blog ..Poem: You, me, the moon after the fight
Hi, Lena! You know what drives me nuts? When every member of the family is in the same house but each one is looking at a screen (TV, laptop, pc, blackberry, xbox, nintendo ds, etc.) It was bad enough when the whole family huddled around one TV, instead of talking to each other, but now they aren’t even involved in the same activity. It just doesn’t seem like that’s a real healthy trend.
Fantastic post!
I think what we must do, especially the younger generations who are growing up with technology, is recognize that the Internet and all the various methods of communication that it enables are tools and nothing more. I think reconnecting with nature, and with our inner selves, is going to become more and more important as technology continues to push communication into the digital realm.
That’s exactly right. I used to see the internet as merely a tool to enhance my regular life, and I think most “older” people (who didn’t grow up in the internet era) find it easier to separate real and virtual lives. But, like you said, the younger generation is plugged in to something almost constantly.
If just one year of blogging has made the internet a REAL world to me, imagine what it’s like for the younglings. In some ways, it is more real and familiar to them than the great outdoors, or anything in the physical world. “We are what we repeatedly do,” right? Kids, then, are virtual.
I always knew but didn’t fully comprehend what was truly happening when we decided we would start doing more virtually [shopping, communicating, etc.] and doing less physically. If I spend too much time at my computer I tend to feel as if I’ve missed something. If I do that too many days in a row I know I have missed something.
I agree with Holly in that we learn about things and meet people we might not if we were to only go out into own backyard [towns] and never explore our virtual lives. And balance is so key to so many things. Moderation, balance, taking time for ourselves in the mundane.
I am looking forward to warmer weather [or drier at least] so I can walk barefoot in my backyard and ground myself to the earth. Hanging laundry on the line and feeling the sun on my skin while the chickens scratch and peck around the yard.
Beautifully written, Lisis.
Anne´s last blog ..How to Rid Yourself of Negativity and Let the Happiness Inside
Hey, Anne… that is such lovely imagery. In my upcoming post I wrote a brief description of what life was like BEFORE blogging, and it was much like you described (minus the chickens). There is nothing in this world that comes close to the experience of walking barefoot in the yard to help us feel connected to everything else.
That reminds me of the Edna St.Vincent Millay quote:
“God, I can push the grass apart and lay my finger on Thy heart.â€
Do you know I haven’t been ‘online’ in a week? A week, Lisis!!! Before, that would have been unthinkable.
Right now, right now I have email sitting in my inbox, comments I haven’t counter-commented on, and articles that I don’t feel obligated to read any more.
I’m sure I’ll feel a lot more “free” when my home stops looking like a construction zone but all I can say is that I FEEL YOU on this.
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..And So I Bid Adieu…
You’re killin’ me, Hayden! I’ve had a few times when I was “forced” offline for a while, resulting in a virtual detox. At first, I kind of went through withdrawals. Then I really enjoyed the peace of it all. After a week or two, I started missing it.
The way you are doing this is great, though, because you aren’t leaving altogether. You still get to be “around” when you want to be (or when you need us.. ’cause we’re always here).
Good for you, for getting your priorities straight.
I like to think of my time online as one component of the only world I know, and my best time online is used to enhance and sustain my relationships. Some of my best friends are people I once saw on a regular basis but moved away from… and so, the best way to keep in touch (not being much of a phone person) has been email. Still, as many have noted, it’s imperative to balance on-screen time with off-screen time.
Alison | Quest for Balance´s last blog ..Inspiration from Kurt Vonnegut: Life Beyond Computers
Ali, I think you are in the same boat as Nelia… you have managed to keep the internet as basically a tool that enhances life. It hasn’t taken on a life of its own for you, or become a whole other world that you get lost in and have to make yourself come out of. That’s a great place to be.
The internet has always been my bff. We’ve been friends for a long, long time. But, that being said, we’re slightly dysfunctional. It wants me to be around all the time but sometimes, I just can’t be bothered. I may have my BlackBerry, my netbook, and a zillion and a half ways to be connected to the web, but I know when enough’s enough.
As with anything else, it’s easy to get lost in what makes you feel accepted. Special. Awesometacular. So finding that balance is really difficult, especially when it’s something new and shiny. Thankfully, the internet (blogging too) isn’t shiny to me anymore. Well, my business is shiny, so I’m a bit obsessed about that but don’t tell anyone…
Side note: I still get lost in video games for hours at a time. So does my husband. It’s a real problem. But only until the game’s over. We don’t get lost in World of Warcraft anymore…
Amanda´s last blog ..Confidence. Rates. Nothing up my sleeve. It’s all business, baby.
You’re right about that, Amanda… when we come HERE, we get to feel accepted, special, and awesometacular. What’s not to like about THAT? And then in video games, you can actually be a super hero (or super villain, as the case may be!). So easy to see why this sort of thing is addictive.
It’s scary.
I figured out twitter a few weeks ago… and was instantly addicted. Like the coolest party that never ends.
So I stay away from it sometimes.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..MasterMind Power III: The 5 Ws Of a Successful Mastermind Group
Twitter IS like the coolest party that never ends! It’s up to us to decide when we have to “go home”. : /
You know, Lisis, your post arrived in my in-box early this morning and I deliberately ignored it until now. (It’s almost 11:00 pm and I’m preparing for Monday.) Not that I don’t love your writing and your take on things (and you). Not that I don’t think it’s a tremendously important topic. Plus, the Kurt Vonnegut riff is priceless. But…I don’t want to spend my Sunday online. I want to truly live it in the real world. Sometimes I wonder what the heck all of us are doing with our lives. Me included; as much as I am trying to erect boundaries around my virtual world, it’s tough and very, very addictive. The new drug. Lately, though, I find myself wondering if we are all experiencing some sort of existential loneliness, and this is how we fill the void. Self-medicating, I guess. I do agree with others here who’ve pointed out that there is a lack of community in the real world. But I also think communing so much in the virtual world is a good way to play it safe and not have to try to create those meaningful, authentic relationships in the real world.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: The Hummingbird Edition
Good for you, Patty, for taking Sundays OFF. I need to do that too.. have certain days, or blocks of each day, when I absolutely don’t long on, no matter what. It’s just sad that it’s come that, really. It is, in fact, a drug that treats loneliness, existential angst, boredom, feeling misunderstood or under-appreciated.. ALL that good stuff. The Net is quickly becoming the new LSD for those who have gone past the point of using it as merely a tool.
You know, that’s really good idea, get Lisis’ articles in email instead of RSS. That way I might have hope of commenting usefully instead of coming in at #134 1/2.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..MasterMind Power III: The 5 Ws Of a Successful Mastermind Group
ALL of your comments are useful, Dave! In some cases it’s fun to get here early, but other times (usually) this place is much better once a few readers have added their opinions.
Having said that, I usually subscribe to stuff I REALLY want to stay on top of via email. I use RSS for the zillions of others I almost care about… which means, I rarely check it.
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Lisis,
Guilty as charged. My life isn’t balanced. And I find myself passing up the real world too often. You hit on something big because anyone who blogs spends hours blogging.
I gave up hiking yesterday for blogging. Today I committed to go to celebrate a friends birthday. Maybe there’s hope for me.
I’ve never logged my hours online compared to off. Ha! I wonder why?
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..The Time Of My Life
Maybe there IS hope for you, Tess. I’d like to think there’s hope for all of us. In some ways this post applies more to bloggers than any other demographic, because we really become part of our virtual communities. I don’t know how one could blog and NOT develop this second life.
I’ve caught myself before passing up activities, in favor of blogging, or not enjoying certain things because my mind is on some blog-related issue. I need to find an ON/ OFF switch, so I can transition smoothly from one world to the other (the one on my laptop doesn’t seem to be sufficient!)
I have thought about logging every single minute I spend online, even if I just log in to check twitter for a second or two. Perhaps I should. It would probably scare some sense into me!
It’s kooky, Lisis, that I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic, especially the past couple of months, and I still haven’t come up with an answer or even clue of how I feel about this. And here you post about it, too! That’s awesome.
I guess, using the KISS model (Keep it Simple, Silly!) – I have to admit that living (for the most part) in the virtual world is OK for me right now. My MS limits me and my ability to get out amongst ‘the people,’ and the community online affords me the ability to continue to interact – so I don’t feel so isolated.
For that I’m super happy!
The flip side is (as you know) that I want to finish my book this year! So I feel tugged because of that.
Am I spending too much time on line and not enough working on my book? Maybe so.
But at least I’m happy and staying connected!
Yay for being happy! Why over-complicate things?
Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Only in Lance World
See… in your case, Lori, considering Ms. MS and the fact that you don’t have younglings in your home, it’s a different story. When your hubby is at work and you aren’t really feeling up to any outdoor adventures anyway, I think Pandora is an excellent place to be. The time you spend there even helps you feel BETTER in the real world.
Sure, you need to make time for your to-dos, and to work on your book, but around those… it’s a free-for-all, baby. And on the days when you do feel fantastic, I’m sure you’ll want to get out and play anyway, just to take advantage of those perfect moments.
Why over-complicate things, indeed?
We all should dedicate our time to activities that mean something to us. Such as blogging, working on our purpose or networking. We all net to unplug the escape tube ( television) and place our purpose in front of our hearts and minds. Great post! peace!
jonathan figaro´s last blog ..If You Don’t Act You DIE!
Thanks, Jonathan! I believe the key to all of this is knowing what matters most to you. Then you’ve just got to make sure your decisions are in line with that. Easier said than done, though.
I resemble Jake. A little too much. All the way down to being a former Marine.
(Note: I’m just a little sensitive here… the heat in Pandora was mercenary, not government issue. Former Marines, not currently serving Marines. Just sayin…
In my own defense, I have been taking more time off. It’s hard to keep up my posting schedule and everything else though. Inverted priorities? Perhaps.
Watch for more from Deacon & Doolin on balance. We have something up our sleeve.
Now I should go back and read all the comments.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..MasterMind Power III: The 5 Ws Of a Successful Mastermind Group
Dave, that’s a really good point about the crazy commander and his mindless, mercenary platoon. The ONLY one who had a conscience and knew to do the right thing was the Latina pilot chick (’cause we’re LIKE that, you know).
But it did strike me as odd that no one else was opposed to the crazy commander’s approach to things… totally mercenary. Not Marine-like at all.
Oooohhhh… I can’t wait to read the Deacon & Doolin balance thing. I can tell already this is going to require some cross-blog discussion ’cause I’m digging in my heels on this one.
I think people spend too much time on the computer and I do the same thing actually. It’s not all bad, however. It’s really about finding balance. I always love going for walks during the day/night, whichever schedule I’m currently on (right now is nights) and just feeling the wind and experiencing the outdoors. I also love coming back to see what’s going on on the world wide web.
It’s just a matter of balance.
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other
Eric, you’re a man after my own heart.
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