This is really important Lisis!

There are so many people (and the mass media!) telling us what success means and how to get it … when what they are really trying to tell us is what success means for THEM. But as you point out, it’s a uniquely personal thing and the more we listen to others, the more confusing and potentially stressful it gets!

I love this idea of redefining what success is for myself. And I can redefine it to describe exactly the life I have right now – whatever that life looks like. Achieving success is always in my grasp – every moment.
Ian | Quantum Learning´s last blog ..The Truth And The Only Way

Hi Lisis! Your blog is compelling enough to keep me coming back….even during my Great Blog Reconstruction and Migration exercise! Otherwise called “changing horses half-way across the Niagara river”. Anyhow, enough of my angst and on to your post. It’s fair to say I have gigantic passion for the “what the heck is success and how to get it” puzzle. For decades I knew what it was like to have big houses, big positions and big money…and know something even bigger was missing from my life. By my late forties I stumbled, by some Divine twist of fate, into what had happened to me. Eventually I realized it happens to pretty much all of us. I will now try to quickly describe why this puzzle is so puzzling and difficult to solve for so many people. First I’ll offer the truest, bottom-line definition of success. It’s “being yourself”. In more practical terms, it’s “making a living being yourself”. Put another way, true success is growing the unique potentials we come with until we blossom into a fully mature Human Being. Sounds easy? It isn’t. Here’s why. Imagine each of us arrives here like a kind of seed. A kernel of potential wrapped up in a hard shell. To “be ourselves” then, we have to come out of our shell and grow. But don’t forget. Each of us is unique. That means inside each “seed shell” is a kind of plan or dream each person is supposed to follow. A Vision of who we are that guides us in our growth. Alright, but what would happen if something sinister kept us from coming out of our shells to be ourselves? (A single fear does this by the way). Well, for one thing, that Dream or Vision I mentioned, will never be known to us. Why? It has to come out of its shell for us to know it. Unfortunately, that Dream is OUR unique brand of success. If it’s still locked up in its shell, we won’t have a clue what true success means to us. And….even worse perhaps…when the Dream of who we are and can be is imprisoned in its shell like that, all we can do is pick dreams of success off the shelf. We’ll pick careers and life-partners and goals people say will make us important. At the end of this great chase for someone else’s success however, we’ll still be empty. In summary then, the success puzzle is so puzzling because for most people THEIR Vision/dream/idea of success is still locked up in its shell. Unless it’s let out, no amount of searching, reading, or intellectualizing will do any good. Sadly, a man or woman can still be puzzled about what to do with their life on their death-bed. There IS a way to let the Dream out, but that’s a story for another time. Speaking of time, I had better get back to my “blogger’s nightmare” (moving the blog house). Ciao Lisis. John Duffield
John Duffield´s last blog ..How To Spot Snake Oil

You put it perfectly Lisis, without being clear on what success means to you, you’ll never be able to reach it or you’ll never know if you’ve reached it. I would add that clarity on what success means to you usually comes when you get clear on what you truly want in life and what you want is aligned with who you are.

Great post as always.

P.S.I don’t believe in luck, but I agree with you that opportunity and luck are interrelated. At the same time I believe that opportunities are all around us, this wolrd truly is abundant. But we can notice them and act on them when we are really clear on what we want and prepared to take action. And I guess that clarity and preparation often has nothing to do with luck.
Lana – DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..How To Clear Your Limiting Beliefs

I was full power forward towards becoming an attorney…and then I realized in the midst of the struggle that I didn’t actually LIKE most attorneys. What I realized was that my true dream, the dream underneath the attorney-ness, was of being an advocate for others.

To me success is doing what i love to do no matter what. Plus being happy at this very moment, with a vision in my mind. Great post!
jonathan figaro´s last blog ..Your Dying If your Not Using Your Imagination

Great post, Lisis. I think success is often an illusion because most people don’t even know what they want. Additionally, “success” often becomes something that we chase after, and if we don’t get it, we mark ourselves as a failure. I like the point where you point out that in order to achieve success, we need to first define what it means to us. That way, we’re not just chasing after an illusion.
Hulbert´s last blog ..Improving on Time, Character, Mentality, Emotions, and Health

There are so many stories of people who thought they knew what success was until they achieved their dreams, and then realized that they had made a mistake.

Let me give you three examples:

The first is Mia Farrow. She always thought that being famous was the definition of success, the essence of happiness. She used to love skating at Rockefeller Center in New York and dream of being famous.

Then came the series Peyton Place. A few weeks after its debut, Mia went down to Rockefeller Center to skate, now that she had achieved some measure of what she termed success. As soon as she stepped on the ice, a mob of people recognized her and she knew right then that she had made a huge mistake. She had lost her personal privacy, and the ability to simply enjoy skating undisturbed at Rockefeller Center.

The second story is of Jackie Gleason. He grew up a very poor boy in New York, and dreamed of being able to afford luxuries. He fought hard in his life for them, and when he finally had them, he stood in the middle of his Florida mansion after a couple of divorces and realized that “things” meant nothing. That was when he remembered a high school sweetheart who he contacted. They married, and finally Jackie was happy. Unfortunately, Jackie didn’t live too much longer after that. However, in his last days, Jackie had found the meaning of happiness. His definition: One person who truly loves you for who you are.

And, finally, from the world of baseball, we have Bob Bremley. He was an announcer for the Arizona Diamondbacks and said that his definition of happiness would be to manage a team to the World Series and win. Well, the owners liked Bob and gave him his chance. And, in his first year as manager, he coached the Diamondbacks to the World Series and won. A week after they had won the Series, Bob was asked how he felt now that he had coached a team to the World Series and won, and he said, “I thought there would be more.”

The lesson here, it is the journey well lived that brings happiness.

May all our journeys be well lived.

Stetson

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