(Thank you, Miche, for sharing this video with me… I couldn’t get it out of my head.)

I’ve been thinking an awful lot about making the transition from homeschooling to unschooling Hunter, for many reasons. Maybe it all started with Leo’s post, Education Needs to be Turned on its Head. Or maybe it started back when I was in school and realized I was learning in spite of my teachers, and not because of them.

I recently joined an unschooling group on Facebook and found some interesting thoughts by people far more qualified to have an opinion on the matter than I am. Here are 15 of my favorite thoughts about education without commentary because, really, what can I possibly add to the words of these masters:

1. “It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.”
Albert Einstein

2. “What does education often do? It makes a straight-cut ditch of a free, meandering brook.”
Henry David Thoreau

3. “My grandmother wanted me to have an education, so she kept me out of school.”
Margaret Mead

4. “Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”
Oscar Wilde

5. “My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself.”
George Bernard Shaw

6. “I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.”
Woody Allen

7. “It is absurd and anti-life to be a part of a system that compels you to listen to a stranger reading poetry when you want to learn to construct buildings, or to sit with a stranger discussing the construction of buildings when you want to read poetry.”
John Taylor Gatto

8. “When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all.”
Paul Simon

9. “Schools are designed on the assumption that there is a secret to everything in life; that the quality of life depends upon knowing that secret; that secrets can only be known in orderly successions; and that only teachers can properly reveal these secrets. An individual with a schooled mind conceives of the world as a pyramid of classified packages accessible only to those who carry the proper tags.”
Ivan Illich

10. “The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.”
George Bernard Shaw

11. “We are students of words; we are shut up in schools, and colleges, and recitation rooms, for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bag of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

12. “Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.”
Gertrude Stein

13. “I hated school so intensely. It interfered with my freedom.”
Sigrid Undset (Nobel Prize winner)

14. “I do not believe much in education. Each man ought to be his own model, however frightful that may be.”
Albert Einstein

15. “In the end, the secret to learning is so simple: Think only about whatever you love. Follow it, do it, dream about it…and it will hit you: learning was there all the time, happening by itself.”
Grace Llewellyn

Hmmm… compelling… very compelling.

I know from homeschooling Hunter that I can teach him whatever I want, but he will only fully absorb and remember whatever HE is interested in. So, why am I wasting our time blabbing about all the stuff on the curriculum? This is only marginally better than wasting his time at school, because he is in the comfort of his own home.

I’m not a big fan of wasting time (our most precious resource).

I thought I might throw this question over to you, the wise and wonderful Quest for Balance readers, because then I can blame you if I end up messing up his whole future…

What are your thoughts about unschooling?

In favor? Against? Don’t give a rat’s arse?

Thanks!!

15 Brilliant Thoughts About Unschooling (and My Own) is a post from: Quest for Balance

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This was an email I received from a reader. I found it to be a beautiful tribute to her father, and know all too well the pain she is going through. I thought maybe, by sharing it here, some of you could help me find the right words to comfort her… even just a little. She told me she wrote this a few months ago, and still has his ashes.

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My dad died on the 24^th of April, 2009, and I have thought of letting go of his ashes many times in that time but either due to co-ordination of schedules with my mum and sister or my inability to let go, I am faced with possibly letting go today. It feels like my heart, amongst other organs, is being ripped apart.

I have been asking myself, am I ready? I want to create meaning to letting go of my dad’s ashes. But no date and nothing seems enough.

I have many similar personality traits to my dad. Is anything ever enough? I have thought about all sorts of ways to remember him or be connected. Writing in a journal just for him and I. Painting, drawing etc. but have been unable to even start doing those things because it means I will never have my dad in the flesh again, to hug, even to take for granted.

I sometimes get relief when I think nothing can tear us apart because I have his blood in my veins. Maybe that is it.

I feel a little pressure letting go today, because my sister does not live in the same city and I suppose I think that there’s is no individual day.

I have been thinking I might do something today as a remembrance before I say goodbye. My dad loved food. So maybe a one and one lunch, so to speak.

My dad loved life. No matter what the odds were, he beat them. He touched so many people’s life with his humour and wit. He had willpower that was unexplainable. He lived life on his terms. And thinking of that makes me so proud. When I think of the legacy my dad left me, that is to live life to the fullest and beyond, no limits, no hesitation, be who you are.

He was a great man in the sense that he had the courage before he died to make his apologies for any hurt he caused to those closest to him, to me. I saw in my dad’s eyes the love he felt for me and how important it was to him for me to know he loved me. My heart was open to his words, after all how many parents admit that they hold their firstborn to a higher standard or that they are stricter with the child most like themselves, or share the trueness of their own lives. For me, now, there is no greater gift.

He let my mum know that he appreciated everything she did for him and that she was the only woman he loved. He told his doctor that he had done his best and knew he could not play God. He also aired his views and made peace with those that wronged him.

And he died the way he wanted to, at home. Amazingly he was not sick at the time of his death. And although he was taken early, in the autumn of his life, he did his best to hang on for as long as he could, as much I wish it was longer.

I have decided to take one-day at a time to honour my dad’s life. He is still alive to me. I still feel his presence.

As I step into a new horizon, I take with me the gifts of the man who gave me life, twice, once at my birth, now by his legacy, my dad.

I love you dad and I thank you for our time together.

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This was my reply:

What a lovely tribute to your dad. I totally know where you are coming from on this. We hung onto my dad’s ashes for about a year before the time felt “right” to do something about them. I’m glad we did because the four of us (siblings) got to be there together.

It has not been very long at all since you lost your dad… it may not feel right for some time to fully let go of him, and right now, the ashes are what is left of his physical form. However, when you think about it in greater terms, like you alluded to, he will always exist in your blood, in your memories, in the actions he did while he was here, and in all sorts of ways we can’t even begin to understand.

For a long time after my mom died, I had to tell myself that she was just on a trip somewhere, or busy with one of the other kids, because I couldn’t deal with the finality of it. But now I feel like both my parents are with me all the time, and with my siblings all the time. Finally, they are not torn between us, since we all lived in different places, but shared among us. You will ALWAYS have your dad as a huge part of you, with or without the ashes. Releasing them is just symbolic of an internal feeling of acceptance. There’s no need to rush that.

Thank you for sharing this with me… I am honored and humbled to be allowed a glimpse into your life.

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What about you?

Have you experienced this, or something like it? Have you lost a loved one and found closure, or a great way to honor them? Do you have any words of wisdom or comfort for a grieving soul?

Thanks!!

Letters from Readers: Remembering Lost Loved Ones is a post from: Quest for Balance

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It’s been a couple of weeks since my last Road to Freedom Update, so I figure we’re due for another one. I can’t say that too much has changed as a result of Jeff (my husband) quitting his job (our only income), because we’ve been in vacation mode since the first week of August. Now we’re home, back to real life… sort of.

However, there are three things I would like to mention:

1. Mortgage Status

- We ended up paying for August and September. After my conversation with the bank, I had the distinct impression that I should miss my payment since a) we have no job, and b) the bank can’t help us until we are behind on payments.

Then one of my readers commented that I could be sued if the bank considers that I was “able to pay” but chose not to. This begs the question, Who determines if I am “able to pay”? But I decided it wasn’t worth the stress of potential litigation while we were on our road trip, so I paid for August.

As it turns out, there’s some truth to what he was saying and I really need to look into it further… so I just paid September, too. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe the house will sell soon and we won’t be behind on payments or have to be foreclosed on, which would spare our credit.

Or, maybe we’ll just go broke that much faster so we won’t be “able to pay” and they will be stuck with our house fair and square. Who knows? But the mortgage is current at this point… we haven’t skipped a payment.

2. Confusing Signs

- I believe the Universe works in mysterious ways, that there is a reason for everything, and that “signs” are everywhere to show us the way. But lately these signs have seemed “Curiouser and curiouser,” to borrow a phrase from Alice in Wonderland. I see signs everywhere but I have no idea what they mean, or if they are even intended for me. Maybe I’m stumbling across someone else’s cosmic signs!

It feels a bit like a giant connect-the-dots, where I’ve connected numbers 1 through 5, out of a possible 1000. I don’t know what the finished picture is supposed to look like. I am certain that when I look back at it later, it will all make sense; but right now my signs seem to be in a foreign language.

To be perfectly honest, it’s a little frustrating.

3. To Plan, or Not to Plan?

- Several friends and family members are concerned about us because we don’t have a plan… we’re hoping to “find our way” to the next phase of our life. Jeff and I have been married ten years (tomorrow!) and have always planned our next steps. Most often, things did not turn out “as planned”.

Nadia usually reminds me that, if I want to make God laugh, I should tell him my plans. There’s really not much difference between having NO plan and having a plan that may or may not work out… is there? The only difference is the (possibly false) sense of security that comes with having a plan.

The level of uncertainty we are experiencing is not for the faint of heart, and would likely test even the strongest of marriages. We’ve had our moments of doubt, fear, worry, anxiety… call it whatever you like. But most of the time our Faith is strong and we know this will work out for the best.

Bottom Line: If we had this decision to make over again, would we do it? 100% YES.

What about YOU?

How do you handle uncertainty? Do you feel it’s better to have a plan (that may or may not work out), or simply wait and see what happens?

Thanks!!

Road to Freedom Update #3: Facing Uncertainty is a post from: Quest for Balance

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I am in awe of what Lisis, Jeff, and Hunter are doing. I am really very happy and excited for them, and a little scared, but I truly believe this will be an amazing experience for them–an experience that will create lasting memories and fabulous stories for years to come.

When Lisis asked me for some simple tips on living frugally, I jumped at the chance for two reasons: First, I love the concept of frugality and the simplicity that comes with being frugal. Second, I’m thrilled to be able to contribute to their amazing, epic journey. Here are my top five frugal tips for living on less.

Making Your Money Go Further

1. Reduce non-essentials. This will vary from person to person as what is essential to one may not be to another. Lisis has given up her favorite coffee creamer and I would consider this a non-essential (well done by the way!). Consider living without:

• cell phones
• cable TV or satellite
• magazine subscriptions
• eating out at restaurants
• going to movie theatres
• pop and junk food
• going out for coffee
• buying souvenirs
• brand name anything

2. Get physical. I know Lisis HATES exercise, but you can really save a lot of money on fuel, car insurance, maintenance, and repairs by leaving the car at home as often as possible. Get some activity while spending less by walking, roller blading, or riding a bike to your next destination. If getting there requires transportation, consider public transport or car-pooling.

3. Live off the grid. I love this idea. I initially read about this on fivecentnickle.com. It’s a great idea for reducing costs around using electricity. For one day each week (or as often as you like), live off the grid. Turn the power in your home off at the breakers, with the obvious exceptions of fridges and freezers. I love this idea not only because it reduces cost, but it’s good for the environment and allows you to get out and spend time reconnecting with family and having fun.

4. Avoid pre-packaged or fast food. Nowadays we pay for convenience, plain and simple. Anyone who buys a fast-food cheeseburger likely isn’t doing it because it tastes better than what they can make at home. They do it because it’s quicker and easier but it’s also more expensive. Making meals from scratch is one of my frugal faves. Food tastes better when you make it from scratch and you can alter any recipe to suit your tastes. My all time favorite recipe site is allrecipes.com. Take tacos for example, surely you have to buy the package of taco seasoning to add to the ground beef? Nope! There’s a recipe for that and it tastes amazing! Whatever you want to make check allrecipes first it’s bound to be there.

5. Plan your meals. This goes hand in hand with point 4. Meal planning isn’t rocket science but it can save you a lot of time and a lot of money. Planning meals makes shopping a lot quicker, reduces (if not eliminates) impulse purchases and gets rid of the age old question “what’s for dinner?”

Other Frugal Tips to Get You Thinking

• use cloth napkins not paper
• line dry clothing
• drink water… lots of water
• use coupons and take advantage of sales for items you use anyway
• use kitchen towels to clean up messes instead of paper towels
• pack lunches, snacks and drinks for day trips out
• make coffee at home and take it in a travel mug
• dig deep into your pantry and freezer and use up what you have…all of it
• reconsider buying physical gifts for people and opt for creating experiences instead
• downsize your home and/or car - easier said than done I realize but definitely worth looking into
• if you truly need to buy “stuff” buy as much as you can second hand
• get a friend to cut your hair or do it yourself
• use only cash not credit credit cards when making any purchase
• buy in bulk, cook in bulk and freeze meals
• grow your own fruits and vegetables and can or freeze the excess
• make your own cleaning solutions using vinegar, baking soda or lemon juice
• downgrade your Internet package from uber-fast to fast

Frugality to me is not the same as being cheap. For me being frugal is being smart and purposeful with my spending. I choose to spend money on on things that matter to me and that add value. Keeping in mind that there is a difference between a need and a want, is crucial to smarter spending. I’m always looking for frugal tips and ways to reduce waste so please share in the comments if you have more to add, I’d love to hear them!

Lisis, Jeff, and Hunter, I hope this helps a bit and you’re able to take away a thing or two that may just stretch your savings a little bit further. I wish you the best of luck and much happiness on your journey. You’re quite the inspirational family!

Photo courtesy of: Steve Wampler

Frugal Tips: How to Make Your Money Go Further is a post from: Quest for Balance

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Today we are on the road again, for day 2 of our adventure, and super excited because we’ll be meeting Nadia and Jacob this evening!! We are taking pictures as we go along, and I hope to be able to upload a bunch of them when I get the right combination of internet access and time.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share this picture from Jeff’s farewell lunch with his team from work… the work he’s not going back to! Here he is “riding off into the sunset” on a statue of a donkey at the Mexican restaurant. I thought it made a nice addition to my post about my horseback riding misadventures, as it makes me look like the dignified one!

Since I’m traveling, I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes on the subject:

“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

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“Traveling is almost like talking with men of other centuries.” — René Descartes

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“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

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“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” — Lao Tzu

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P.S. — Highlights from Day 1

After about three hours of driving, we stopped in middle-of-nowhere, South Carolina, for a picnic by the side of the road. Here are Jeff and Hunter, enjoying some tuna salad and ham & cheddar sandwiches. Hunter said it was his favorite picnic he’d ever been to (probably because we’d starved him for so long!).

This turned out to be the highlight of our first day of driving because North Carolina was one giant thunderstorm with a freeway running through it. I don’t think I saw anything but lightning, tail lights, and water droplets scurrying up the wind shield. We ended up continuing on into Virginia instead of stopping in that tempestuous mess.

In summary – Eight hours of driving, a picnic, a thunderstorm, and a lot of progress. Oh, and THIS thing… I have no idea what it is:

Maybe you know what that thing is?

Do you have any favorite travel quotes, or memories of trips you took?

Thanks!!!

Family Trip, Second Day: Onward to New Jersey is a post from: Quest for Balance

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