I wanted to take a moment to share some of the things that are currently making my life awesome. We’ll call this a gratitude post… or “a few of my favorite things” list (if you want to get all Julie Andrews about it.) Mostly, I just thought it would be a good time for a happy note. So here goes:

1. The Book of Awesome

Most of you have probably heard about Neil Pasricha‘s blog, 1000 Awesome Things. I’ve been reading about it for months and, since I knew that practically everyone on the planet loves it, I figured I probably would not enjoy it (’cause I’m just that way). Well, to my great surprise, Neil recently sent me an advance copy of his new book… and I fell in love with it! I feel like such a goob now for missing out on all the Awesomeness he has published so far!

The book, you see, lists a bunch of simple, awesome things we often overlook. But when you take a moment to notice them, to pay attention to that feeling you get when they happen, suddenly, no matter what else is going on, life feels AWESOME. I keep the book next to my bed, and Hunter and I read through a few awesome things each night. Now he’s developed the habit of identifying awesome things in real life that could be added to the book. In other words, Neil’s book has turned us into silver-lining seekers!

Simple pleasures and great moments no longer go unnoticed or get taken for granted. Now, we highlight them, talk about them, and revel in their glory. Needless to say, I am now a 1000 Awesome Things groupie. I love the idea of it. I love the little things that are mentioned, and I really love Neil’s writing style.

So, if you were looking for a great blog, or a great book to give you a brighter outlook on life, Neil has you covered either way. Enjoy!!!

2. Raptitude

Raptitude is the blog I’m married to, mostly because it is a blog unlike any other. I discovered Raptitude about a year ago, and have been committed to it ever since. It has become my better half, reliable, and comforting. I can always count on it to deliver exactly what I need, when I need it.

When I read posts at Raptitude, I don’t feel like I’m just skimming the surface of an interesting subject. Instead, I am taken by the hand and guided, slowly and carefully, into an intricate web of ideas, beautifully presented, and artfully elaborated. I feel like I’m reading a book as it is being written, one electronic chapter at a time, and I can’t wait for the next installment.

I am not skilled enough to find the right words to properly describe how much I enjoy Raptitude. My relationship with this particular blog is made to last a lifetime. (David, whatever you do, don’t stop writing!)

3. Wandering Earl

This is the blog I’m having an affair with, because it takes me to magical and mystical places I can’t get to in real life. Earl is a 100% sure ’nuff modern day nomad. If he ever has to list his “permanent residence” I’m sure his answer is, “My Backpack.”

He’s been just about everywhere, it seems, and not because it would be a cool gimmick, or because it’s a personal challenge, or because he’ll make a lot of money at it. Earl moves around and visits random places because he wants to get to know them. He wants to know what life is like in other places… not the highlights and tourist traps, but REAL life, real people… he is a true citizen of the world.

I would LOVE to do what he does. Maybe one day we’ll figure out how to do the Family Pack version of Earl’s nomadic lifestyle. But until then, I travel vicariously through him. His blog, Wandering Earl, isn’t your typical travel guide. It is the journal of a man who lives for adventure (a rare breed these days). I visit this blog to read thoughtful stories with a unique and passionate perspective. It adds sparkle to my life.

4. Your Life. Live It. Love It.

This is a new e-book by my dear friend, Sherri, of Serene Journey. If there is anyone on this planet who can figure out how to make life simple and enjoyable, it’s Sherri. The book, as she explains it, is “designed to help people break mental barriers, confront insecurities, strengthen relationships, and redesign their life so they can live in a way that is true to who they are.” I’m sure we all could use a little help in these areas.

This e-book is 69 pages, packed full of sound advice, and organized into three major sections:

1) Focus on you.

2) Focus on your relationships.

3) Enjoy the little things in life.

Officially, the book comes out on Monday, March 29, but (as you’ll see in the next point) I won’t be online much that week. I wanted to go ahead and tell you all about it now, so you won’t miss out on Sherri’s beautiful contribution to the world. I am so proud of her for getting this done (with two little ones at home, no less!).

5. My Upcoming Costa Rican Adventure

Hunter and I will be heading to Costa Rica tomorrow, for three weeks!! Unlike last year, this time, I will not be thinking about the blog. I have not pre-scheduled anything to publish while I’m gone. I may post something along the way, if my Muse demands it, but most likely not.

After all, having real life adventures is… AWESOME. (Right, Neil?)

I’ll be back at the end of April. In the meantime, if you are looking for something to read, please check out the first four things I mentioned, or take a stroll through the over-stuffed Quest for Balance Archives. You might find a few more awesome things in there.

I look forward to having some great stories to write about when I get back.

Take Care,

Lisis

PS: Do you have any awesome things to share with us? A favorite blog, book, movie, song, or Ben & Jerry’s flavor? C’mon… there’s got to be something awesome in your life right now!

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5 Awesome Things I’d Like To Share is a post from: Quest for Balance

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This is my son, Hunter, sitting on a boulder in the middle of a river, in my sister’s backyard in Costa Rica. I remember seeing him that day, thinking he looked sad, lonely, and bored. I had all but convinced myself that we should have waited to take our trip when his cousins were on vacation, so he’d have someone to play with.

I basically scolded myself and felt badly that, in my rush to get down there, I’d completely neglected his needs, and planned a trip that wasn’t going well for him at all.

Bad mommy.

Selfish mommy.

I could’ve done better.

But when I went over and asked him if he was bored or sad, he assured me he wasn’t at all. In fact, he was simply observing a line of ants, trying to get across a puddle, and he was trying to figure out how to build an ant bridge!

He was the opposite of bored; he was intrigued… fascinated… entertained… fully engaged in observing nature. That whole miserable scenario I was convinced of minutes before was entirely in my head. I noticed a few “clues” and filled in the blanks myself, creating an unhappy, fictitious narrative.

Why?

Recently, this sort of thing happened again. Hunter read The Little Prince on his own (we had read it together a few years ago). I asked him if he was sad about the end, when the snake killed the prince.

He thought I was kidding, and said, “Mommy! The snake didn’t kill the prince!”

I thought he wasn’t paying attention to what he was reading, but he WAS; it’s just that I know how to read between the lines. So I got the book to show him the sad scene, and highlighted the important clues:

*

Then I looked down toward the foot of the wall, and gave a great start! There, coiled in front of the little prince, was one of those yellow snakes that can kill you in thirty seconds. As I dug into my pocket for my revolver, I stepped back, but at the noise I made, the snake flowed over the sand like a trickling fountain, and without even hurrying, slipped away between the stones with a faint metallic sound.

I reached the wall just in time to catch my little prince in my arms, his face white as snow.

“What’s going on here? You’re talking to snakes now?”

I had loosened the yellow scarf he always wore. I had moistened his temples and made him drink some water. And now I didn’t dare ask him anything more. He gazed at me with a serious expression and put his arms around my neck. I felt his heart beating like a dying bird’s, when it’s been shot. He said to me:

“I’m glad you found what was the matter with your engine. Now you’ll be able to fly again…”

“How did you know?” I was just coming to tell him that I had been successful beyond all hope!

He didn’t answer my question; all he said was, “I’m leaving today, too.” And then, sadly, “It’s much further… It’s much more difficult.”

I realized that something extraordinary was happening. I was holding him in my arms like a little child, yet it seemed to me that he was dropping headlong into an abyss, and I could do nothing to hold him back.

His expression was very serious now, lost and remote. “I have your sheep. And I have the crate for it. And the muzzle…” And he smiled sadly.

I waited a long time. I could feel he was reviving a little. “Little fellow, you were frightened…” Of course he was frightened!

But he laughed a little. “I’ll be much more frightened tonight…”

Once again I felt chilled by the sense of something irreparable. And I realized I couldn’t bear the thought of never hearing that laugh again. For me it was like a spring of fresh water in the desert.

*

Every time I read this part, I cry like a baby. Or rather, I cry like a grown woman, who has lost loved ones and knows all too well how frail life can be.

I wish I could read it as he does, with no awareness of what is really happening… just enjoying the events of the story: prince talks to dangerous snake, snake goes away, prince and his friend are saying a sad farewell because the prince is going back to his planet, where he will be reunited with his rose (and live happily ever after).

THAT is how a child reads, taking everything at face value… not looking for innuendo, back story, sarcasm, irony, or making assumptions about anything. They read the words as they are written. Nowhere does it SAY, “the snake killed the prince.”

As grownups, we have learned the skill of INFERENCE.

According to Wikipedia, “inference is the process of drawing a conclusion by applying clues (of logic, statistics etc.) to observations or hypothesis; or by interpolating the next logical step in an intuited pattern.”

This is how we read between the lines. We see one thing written, but we INFER another. The mark of a true intellectual, right?

In fact, we do this in conversation, too. Someone tells us one thing, but we assume they mean another. We often suffer and agonize about what someone else “probably MEANT”, regardless of what they actually said, or did.

She gets upset if her guy wants to spend his weekends playing golf, or climbing mountains, because it CLEARLY means, he doesn’t love her! He gets frustrated when he asks her what’s wrong, and she says, “Nothing,” because OBVIOUSLY something is wrong… she has that pensive, sad, lonely, bored look (like Hunter had, on the river). We have mastered the skill of INFERENCE so that we can fill in the blanks in these, and other, complex situations.

We consider kids to be so simple and innocent because they are ignorant of the REAL, underlying meaning of things.

But are they?

What IS the “real” meaning of anything? How do we know what is “really” happening?

Maybe we (grownups) are over-complicating things by looking for hidden meaning in events that just ARE.

Maybe we could learn to simply enjoy our life story as a kid would, without looking for sinister sub-plots, or tragic endings. Perhaps this inference skill we worked so hard to master is actually undermining our ability to appreciate the happiness that is already present in our lives.

Without inference, the little prince (and you) could live happily ever after.

What do you think?

Do you read your life story AS IT IS WRITTEN? Or, do you fill in the blanks to your own detriment? Are you in the habit of automatically assuming the worst? Do you accept the words and actions of others at face value?

Thanks!!!

One Skill Undermines Your Quest for Happiness is a post from: Quest for Balance

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I read Lisis’ list of Five Steps to Finding Fulfillment with great respect and enjoyment, too. Let’s take a quick look at what she teaches us.

Just be. Because we all do breathe, eat, and sleep. Also the ability of just being is also something highly valuable. Then, be safe. Because you don’t want to be kidnapped, and financial security is a good thing, too. Be social. We love friends, and dating is awesome, too. The list goes on, be strong. And that’s not just lifting weights. And finally – everybody knows a smile has godly healing powers: be happy.

I decided to break out of the Maslow pyramid that Lisis used to organize the steps. I treat being honest as the cloud around the pyramid, which applies to all its levels.

These are goals in our lives that most of us try to reach. I’ve been working on them, with some very delighting results in my everyday life. However, there was one thing that was complicating the process: I tried to ease my tasks. How? By lying.

When you are not used to facing and accepting the truths, hiding them and sweeping them away seems much easier. Often you invent a second reality, that seems more comfortable to live in. You lie to your parents, to your friends, and end up with lying to yourself. That’s the moment when you don’t even realize that you’re lying.

Sometimes I even lied about things (and we all had), that didn’t even make sense (exaggerating, leaving out little details). And that’s the worst, when you lie to yourself and don’t even realize, you are so used to it. I caught myself lying quite a few times to realize that I have to take another step: be honest.

Be Honest With Others

There’s an old Hungarian saying, “An untrue man is caught faster than a halting dog,” which has proven to be true so many times. By being honest to others you will see many improvements over your life. You will gain respect. People sense it when someone is untrue, and vice verse. If you will aim to be honest, you will be more respected within your community. You will be able to avoid all the hassle that is usually caused when a lie is found out (oh yeah, lies are always found out)!

We all lied now or then, we all know how it feels, right? You know the success that you feel.. “another little trouble passed by,” maybe the twinge of conscience that is produced. Lying evokes ambivalent feelings.

Let’s look at the other side. The most powerful feelings evoked by truth are usually pride (sometimes you have to be really strong to be able to speak it out,) happiness, cleanliness and balance. These are all positive values. Yes, of course, you can argue: shame! Think about it, when do you feel ashamed? When you tell the truth, or when you admit something wrong that you have done? When you admit that you lied about the very same thing before?

Most Important: Be Honest To Yourself

At an interpretation session for A Midsummer Night’s Dream, our theatre group leader said, that from time to time, you can lie to other people. You can lie to friends and family, to strangers. You can lie to everybody. One thing you must always respect: be true to yourself. (Well, that might not have been the most ethical advice he has ever given us, however, there’s some wisdom in it, I believe.)

If you lie to yourself, then you do not know yourself.

If you do not know yourself, than it doesn’t matter anymore if others know you.

Consequently, if you lie to yourself, then you don’t even give others the chance to get to really know you. Your social life directly relates to your honesty.

Last year, I stuffed up a lot of tasks at the Student’s Council in our school, while still keeping my daily activities. What I took on was impossible to accomplish. I rather drank seas of coffee, and stayed up several night until dawn, instead of admitting that I just can’t do more. I cheated on myself, regarding my strength, and that jeopardized my safety, and my being after all. And that is just one example of lying to yourself. One from many I’ve seen or experienced.

Truth is always the right choice.

I’d like to finish this article with a citation that one of my readers left on my blog as one of the first comments I ever received. I think it very nicely presents how obvious the little truths of life are:

“Telling the truth is easy and pleasant.”

What about YOU?

Do you think telling the truth is easy, pleasant, and necessary? Can we lie to ourselves or others and expect to have meaningful relationships? If you are not being true to yourself, then isn’t everything else a lie?

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The Sixth Step to Finding Fulfillment: Be Honest is a post from: Quest for Balance

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Who doesn’t want to know how to be RICH and HAPPY? But first things first, what kind of idiot would post a book review before having finished the book? THIS kind. Right here. You’re looking at her (sort of).

Please don’t assume Tim Brownson’s new book how to be RICH and HAPPY (written in collaboration with John P. Strelecky) is a slow read. It isn’t. But it’s not the sort of book you skim, either.

This masterpiece is more of a student workbook, where you read a few chapters, then grab a pencil, and do your very best to come up with the right answers (for you). At least that’s what I’m doing. I am now about 3/4 of the way through, and thrilled with the results so far.

Now, keep in mind, when Tim first sent me a draft of how to be RICH and HAPPY for feedback, my initial thought was along the lines of: “Tim, Tim, Tim… being Rich is not my goal… it’s not a Noble goal… and I’m pretty much Happy already, so I really can’t see reading 200 pages of yet another superficial book of meaningless promises.”

Ordinarily, I don’t read this sort of material. To be honest, it seems like these books are a dime a dozen. But I agreed to read this one because Tim is different from most people I know… he’s a straight shooter. He tells it like it is. When Tim talks, I listen.

Besides, now that I find myself between homes, between states, between jobs and way past any degree of certainty about how we will pay our bills or create the life we want, I can honestly say I’m more than curious. I’m a sponge. I am thirsty for useful, helpful advice. So, IF you would also really like to be happy and financially secure, I’m guessing you’ll be as interested as I am.

As it turns out, Tim isn’t talking about “rich” as in fancy mansions, fast cars, and cocaine parties on Gulfstream jets… although, I guess if that’s your goal, this book will also help you get there. What he is really referring to is described in the second chapter: “…for the vast majority of Rich and Happy people, money itself is not the goal. Money is just one of the vehicles they use to pay for whatever they want, whenever they want it.”

This book teaches you how to do whatever YOU want, whenever YOU want.

If what you want is to feed every man, woman, and child on the planet, you’re gonna need money (or friends with money). No matter how noble your goals are, money is the tool that will allow you to achieve them.

Once I got past my days of MBAs and BMWs, and shifted towards spirituality, I developed a strong aversion to money… a sense that it was superficial and the root of all evil. But money itself is without meaning; it’s how you use it that matters.

I would love to be someone like Oprah, or Bill Gates, or Brangelina… not for their fame, success or material wealth, but because having those allows them to do amazing philanthropic works around the world. How great would that be?!

So the first thing this book did for me was help me find a new, healthier relationship with money, and accept the concept of being paid for something I love to do and would gladly do for free. The value I add is worth something to someone. Now I just need to define what that value is, and who that someone might be.

By Chapter 5, I found myself taking notes in my journal… doing the exercises (eliciting my values)… wishing I had a printed copy to write in! Initially I was overwhelmed that the book is 200 pages long, and I have tons to do. But now, I’m afraid I’ll get to the end too soon! I don’t want it to end… I’m learning too much!! I am soaking it in as if it was the first ray of sun after a long, cold winter.

I’m almost done with the book. I probably should have waited until I finished it to tell you about it, but I’m afraid I’ll be wrapped up in my move to Vermont starting tomorrow (the drive begins Wednesday morning!). I’m not sure when I’ll have internet up and running, so I may not post again for about a week… we’ll see.

But the book is fantastic; you can even download the first three chapters for free to decide if the time is right for YOU to be reading how to be RICH and HAPPY. In my case, the book was heaven sent. I feel like the Universe MADE Tim and John write this specifically for ME… I just happen to be willing to share it with the rest of you.

I hope you’ll check it out.

P.S.: If you download those first three chapters, I’d love to hear your initial reactions.

How is your relationship with money? Do you know what you would do if you could do whatever you want, whenever you want? Are you comfortable being paid for something you love to do and would do for free anyway?

*

SPECIAL UPDATE (10/9/09): As you can tell from much of the discussion in the comments, the issue of price ($97) has been a bit controversial. Tim has just issued a revision to the price of the book. It now sells for $47, but does not include the other two e-books. For those of you who may have purchased the book already, Tim will be emailing you directly to work out the difference. The only thing better than a great book, is a great book at half the price!

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how to be RICH and HAPPY: A Partial Review is a post from: Quest for Balance

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“Life will knock you to your knees and keep you there…if you let it.” –Rocky Balboa

Sometimes life can’t get better, you’re on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear, everything falls into place and it feels like we are invincible. It’s an awesome feeling to be high on life like that, those moments and times of peak happiness!

Other times can be less pleasant, sometimes even agonizing, and nothing seems to go right. We want to burst out in tears, come up with irrational ideas and sometimes completely abandon all hope and faith.

If it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year, and you’re feeling down, then let me share with you some ideas and thoughts, and hopefully give you some motivation to help you get on the right track again.

Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better.

I have gone through a relatively tough time myself for about a year, mostly due to my own (bad) decisions, and I felt pretty depressed and didn’t enjoy life very much. I learnt many things from that period of time, and I realised that there are many things that you can do to get out of a situation, even if it takes a while.

There is one question you need to ask yourself and it is the following:

“Am I doing everything I can to get out of the situation that is causing me unhappiness and makes me sad?”

Most likely the answer is NO. I had the same problem, there were many things I could have done that would have stopped me being unhappy and bring forward positivity and happiness. Whether you have lost your job and are low on funds, or you lost your friends and your girlfriend/boyfriend, or you feel like the world is against you, there is always something you can do.

Scenario 1, no job, low on funds:

You can work 2 or even 3 minimum wage or part time jobs,cut out all non-essential things, don’t stop thinking about ways to make money, is there anything you are good at that you can provide or do for someone? Keep talking to people, make connections, trust that things will turn out well. Wake up early, be persistent, don’t give up. I know it’s tough…be tougher!

Scenario 2, you lost your friends and/or your girlfriend/boyfriend:

If your friends were truly your friends, then no matter what, there will be a way that you become friends again. If not, and it’s over, then it is one of those things that you cannot change and have to accept. Be thankful for the time you had with them, and start on your new journey. There are 6 billion people on this planet, I guarantee that you will make new friends, even if it does take time. The same with a girlfriend/boyfriend. I know this can be a big reason to be unhappy. If you can truly say that you have done everything in your power to try and make things work, and they still don’t, then it is another one of those things you cannot change and have to accept. You WILL find someone else.

Another great saying that I got from Eckhart Tolle is:

“This too shall pass.”

Time is continuous and never stops, so just as you get older, just as good things come and go, bad things will also come, but will also go. So you got slapped around a little, you made some mistakes, things didn’t go the way you wanted them to go. It sucks. Sometimes it really sucks.Don’t let it keep you down!

Today is a new day, one that is full of possibilities and opportunities. Did you think of things that you can do yet to change the situation that is making you unhappy? Well then, get started with it today, or at least make plans how and when to get started.

Personally, I have become content with believing that things happen for a reason and that they play out the way they are supposed to. It removes the frustrating question of “why is this happening to me?” that never really has an answer. I also believe in karma, or that what you give out is what you get back, especially when it comes to being good or bad and honest/dishonest. Some of you may not share my view, and it is not essential to your happiness. It is good to believe what you want to believe as long as it brings joy and happiness to your life and not the opposite.

Don’t give up! Keep your head down and your dukes up.

Remember, “This too shall pass”

Let’s have an awesome day and put a smile on that dial

Diggy is author of Upgradereality.com and writes all about self improvement.
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When Life Knocks You Down is a post from: Quest for Balance

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