Quest for Balance

For the Warrior, Poet, Mystic: On Finding Love

Lisis — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 14:20:25 +0000

LOVE

Outward Kindness

rests

On Strength,

Magical

and

Certain,

Mystical

and

Centered.

ETHEREAL JOY

from

CHANCES TAKEN.

Peace

Walks Slowly

On Still

Water

Between World

and

Illusion,

at times

Unaware,

Guided By

LOVE.

(Swans, Boats)

For the Warrior, Poet, Mystic: On Finding Love is a post from: Quest for Balance

How to Stay Sane While Waiting for a Diagnosis

Lisis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:30:09 +0000

This week I have the distinct pleasure of putting Vermont’s universal health care system to the test.

For a few weeks now, I haven’t felt exactly right. I can feel my heart beating harder than it should, my chest hurts, my cycles are all screwed up, and I feel like I’m breathing through a straw… at 10,000 feet above sea level.

For the record, I’m not usually a hypochondriac. In fact, I go to great lengths to avoid seeing anyone in the medical profession, for reasons I won’t get into right now. If anything, I have a tendency to downplay the significance of my symptoms. But I have a new theory that EVERYONE becomes a hypochondriac while waiting for a diagnosis. The degree of paranoia is directly related to the amount of time one has to wait.

I wonder if it was always like this, or if this is a relatively new phenomenon, created by easy access to too much information?

For instance, during my first appointment, the doc said it MIGHT be anemia… and we had to wait on the lab test results. Now I will say that I didn’t have to wait at all to see the doc (no hours spent in a waiting room), and the results were back in less than 24 hours. So far, so good with this Vermont system.

At this point, I have no idea what’s going on. The doc did tell me my lungs are perfectly healthy, but they are working overtime to compensate for something else that is preventing me from getting the oxygen I need delivered to… well, everywhere in my body. That “something else” is either a blood issue (hence the anemia guess), or a heart issue.

So, what ELSE am I going to do while I wait? I Googled “anemia”. Even one hour is an ETERNITY, when you have access to this kind of stuff:

Google Health * Mayo Clinic * Web MD * Wikipedia * Women’s Health

TOO much information! Knowledge may be power, but this is just sadistic. Did one of those say there are 400 types of anemia?!

The thing about having too much information is that you might as well have none at all. You can’t process it in a useful way… it is meaningless. (Kinda like when the forecast says, “50% chance of rain”… “it might rain, or it might not” is NOT helpful.) And, in the absence of useful information, we tend to make up stuff… stuff that’s probably much worse than anything reality will throw at us.

After Googling, I Tweeted and Facebooked for a while, trying to vent a little of the angst of not knowing (apologies to my Twitter and Facebook friends who had to read my rambling streams).

Then I started to worry about whether my “affairs” were in order (as in life insurance, not adultery).

Then I started to panic because I’m even thinking about my “affairs”.

And then I joined Hunter in his fort to listen to Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events, on audio.

This seemed to do the trick. Immersing myself in a child’s world removes me from the actual world, and any of its various and sundry grownup affairs.

But I can’t stay in the fort forever.

Can I?

Well, I got the lab results back and, despite the fact that I am now an expert in anemia, it turns out I am not anemic after all. So… yay for healthy lungs, and yay for healthy blood, and not-so-yay for the fact that I’m still waiting for a diagnosis.

Step Two takes place today, and will consist primarily of X-rays. Then, depending on what we learn from those, I might be visiting the EKG tech person. It sounds like I may be waiting a few more days, at least.

Not-so-yay for that.

Maybe by the end of today I’ll have a few more potential conditions to Google (probably not a good thing). By this weekend, I’ll be a full-blown hypochondriac!

Or, I may just stay in Hunter’s fort full time.

Anyway, I still don’t know… and it drives me nuts. But I thought I’d share the ups and downs of this little journey with you, so you’d know where I’ve been, what I’ve been up to, and why I’m not blogging much these days. I guess you could say my heart and mind are elsewhere right now.

What about you?

Have you ever been in the “waiting for a diagnosis” phase? If so, how did you stay sane?

(Photo Credit)

How to Stay Sane While Waiting for a Diagnosis is a post from: Quest for Balance

The Myth, The Legend: One Passion to Rule Them All

Lisis — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:30:33 +0000

Please note: This is a guest post by Amanda Farough, from VioletMinded.

For some of us, finding that one true passion is just not an option. We want to do it all.

I’ve never really been able to concentrate on one thing at a time. I’m a notorious multitasker with an apparent inability to focus. In university, people kept telling me to slow down, pick something, decide on a path. Academic advisers would preach that my future (and future earnings) depended on my finding a niche and sticking with it, at least until my mid-thirties.

I can’t tell you how many times that gave me borderline anxiety attacks.

Why should I have to stick to one (or three) paths for the rest of my life? Why can’t I do it all? Was my kindergarten teacher lulling me into a false sense of security with her speeches on how anyone can be anything?

The problem isn’t my kindergarten teacher. Or my academic advisors. The problem is with perception.

From the time we’re small we’re continuously asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I remember the kids from my class answering: “Firefighter”, “Doctor”, “Actor”, “Rockstar”. My teachers would look expectantly at me. My answer?

“A journalist. And I want to write a novel. And then I want to play in a band. You know, a jazz band or something. And then I want to make a video game. Oh, and then…”

I would just continue on and on until the teacher would stop me and say, “Be serious, Amanda. You can’t want to do all that.”

We’re told that we can be anything we want; we just can’t be everything.

In a world where specialists are highly valued, we generalists, Renaissance Men and Women, and Scanners are often mistaken for lazy, misguided, and aimless. Once we realized we were never going to find our one magic passion, we’ve thought there was something seriously wrong with us. I thought that maybe I had some kind of obscure learning disability that barred me from deciding on one thing and one thing only. Or that I had the dreaded ADD.

A Scanner’s World

Some of the most brilliant minds were many things, other than what they are best known for. Take Leonardo DaVinci, for example. He was more than just a painter: he was also a sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, botanist and writer. He was never accused of spreading himself too thin. No one walked up to him and told him, “Just choose something already! You’re wasting your life on meaningless pursuits!”

Barbara’s book changed my life.

I found myself throwing my ideas in a journal, no longer afraid that I was going to forget anything. I was free to pursue my dreams. All of them. I didn’t even need to prioritize them. All I needed was the help of Google Calendar (or my rockin’ analog agenda) and a handy dandy egg timer. I section off a couple of hours for different activities, depending on the day. I’ll usually decide when I wake up what I want to accomplish that day. How many hours do I want to work on my business before doing some writing? Do I want to throw some leisure time in there? Perhaps somewhere in the mix I’ll want to try my hand at a different programming language. And then maybe I’ll spend an hour or two researching how to make pasta from scratch.

There are a few ways for you to keep your sanity, in the midst of this creative sugar high:

1. Store your ideas in notebooks and binders

When you have time to look at them again, you’ll be glad you did, even if it’s not for a few days/months/years/decades. And in the meantime, at least you know that they’ll be safe.

2. Lose yourself completely in whatever you’re working on

And then, once you’re done with it – once you’ve gotten what you need out of that activity, be it completion or not – put it away. Don’t feel guilty about not finishing if you don’t. Be proud that you’re capable of great things.

3. Find a scheduling system that works for you and stick with it

Make it a habit. If you want to accomplish more than one or two things during your day/week/month/year, then jot down what they are (on a calendar, on a huge piece of paper, or even on many sheets of paper) and work towards it, bit by bit. If you’re like me and you want to accomplish ten things a day, then the egg-timer/calendar system will work for you.

Don’t forget to come up for air.

Amanda Farough is a writer, web rock-star, geek, gamer, and musician. She rocks it over at VioletMinded, if you want to stop by and jam.

(Photo Credit)

Have you shelved some of your passions in favor of others, or have you found a way to pursue them all? We want to hear about it!

The Myth, The Legend: One Passion to Rule Them All is a post from: Quest for Balance

OCD: The Pendulum of Caution, Risk, and Reasonable Doubt

Lisis — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:30:59 +0000

I was once a bit OCD. I don’t mean that my house was neat and tidy (though it probably was), or that I was a control freak (though I definitely was); but rather, I had obsessive thoughts that I compulsively acted on, even when I knew I shouldn’t. I would tell myself NOT to act on those thoughts… but, when they arose, it was like I was on autopilot. I absolutely, compulsively, had to follow through, no matter what.

When I was dealing with this issue, I learned that OCD people live in an imaginary world that is Beyond Reasonable Doubt. Some doubts, of course, are reasonable and prudent.

For instance:

I just cut raw chicken on the counter, so I should disinfect it. (Reasonable)

I need to disinfect the counter every 30 minutes because there MIGHT be germs on it. (OCD)

Or:

I wonder if I locked the door (or turned off the oven) before I left? (Reasonable)

I can’t leave my house without checking the lock (or oven) 17 times, because I MIGHT forget one of those times. (OCD)

Reasonable doubt keeps us alive and well.

Then there is the paralyzing world of doubts that are WAY beyond reason… “what if this or that (highly unlikely scenario) happens? I need to go to great lengths to avoid that catastrophe.” When this is your thought process, you end up not living at all, because fear and compulsive behaviors keep you from enjoying ANYTHING.

But at the other end of the spectrum, the pendulum swings to the OPPOSITE of OCD, careless risk-taking.

When this happens, people are not even concerned with reasonable doubts, because they get so caught up in their pleasure seeking, and narcissistic goals, they start to believe the rules of mere mortals don’t apply to them. They imagine things like, “I’m special, extraordinary, smarter, stronger, better, richer… and therefore, these things (that happen on a fairly regular basis to other people) will NOT happen to me.”

Recently I watched Everest: Beyond the Limits, and was struck by how many times I heard people say, “If I had only known THIS would be the price I had to pay (losing fingers, or toes, or friends), I never would have come.”

Really?!

Because I’m not even a climber, I’ve just watched a few Everest specials on TV, and even I know that every climbing season people on Everest lose fingers and toes to frostbite, get pulmonary or cerebral edema, suffer snow blindness, and any number of other things… and these are the (lucky) ones who survive their summit attempts.

Everest is, for all intents and purposes, the world’s highest graveyard; it is covered in bodies of climbers that cannot be recovered. This is not a big secret… it’s pretty well documented.

You didn’t KNOW? Or you didn’t think it would happen to YOU?

Those are two very different things.

This week I watched Tiger Woods deliver his staged press conference on the issue of his affairs. He admitted that he had come to believe he didn’t have to play by the same rules that apply to everyone else. He thought he could just act on selfish impulse, without worrying about consequences.

I guess if he had KNOWN his affairs would destroy his family, and the professional image he worked so hard to achieve, he might’ve kept it in his pants.

Really?! A smart guy, like Tiger, didn’t do the simple “what if” scenario, following his actions through to their logical conclusions? Or maybe he did, and just didn’t care enough about the outcome… but that’s not likely. He thought, “OTHERS get caught, but not me. I’m Tiger Woods.”

But he did get caught, and shattered a bunch of hearts in the process.

Why in the world would he do that?

Granted, some risks beyond “normal” tolerance must be taken for progress to be made in all sorts of fields. But, it seems to me, total carelessness and disregard for others, in the pursuit of one’s own pleasure or glory, is a recipe for disaster and regret.

What do you think?

How do we know what “reasonable” doubts are? Have you ever felt trapped by worries or concerns that were WAY beyond what others considered reasonable?

How much risk-taking is healthy and normal? Do you engage in behaviors you KNOW could cost you dearly, thinking you probably won’t get caught? (I don’t actually expect you to confess them here, by the way.)

How do we find the balance between too much risk, and not enough?

How do we know when we’ve gone too far?

Are some obsessions better than others?

(Photo Credit)

OCD: The Pendulum of Caution, Risk, and Reasonable Doubt is a post from: Quest for Balance

4 Things You Need to Know About ALL Ideas

Lisis — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:30:34 +0000

Please Note: This is a guest post by Christopher Kabamba, of consciouSynthesis.

Every now and then, I come across the word “hype” as I try to read my way to a better life for myself and the people around me. It is a word which, in the realm of personal growth and development, is usually used to refer to ideas that promise a runway in your backyard and a mansion in the middle of the sea.

The promise is not always material possessions; at times there is no specific promise at all. You know what I am talking about… the carefully choreographed words that seem intended just to make you feel good, while you wallow in your problems; all the big words from past sages, which at face value seem to promise more that they can deliver.

I have come close to using that label before, and chances are that I will use it again.

Not too long ago, I wrote a post entitled “Why the Science of Success Theory is Flawed”, and while I didn’t use the word “hype” in that post, you would not be far from the truth if while reading that article you got the idea that I was in some way trying to label most Science of Success theories as “hype”.

In this article, I want to remind you of four things about ALL ideas.

1. In their Raw State ALL Ideas are “Hype”

Hype is not an objective label on an idea. It is almost always subjective. People don’t just apply this word to carefully crafted “goody goody” ideas. You will ALWAYS find at least one person who labels “hype” even what seems “practical” and “original” (if there are such ideas).

It is for the simple reason that all ideas (even the good ones) are potential hype in their “raw” unused state. The more accurate way to put it would be to say that ideas are just ideas until practiced to see their fruit. Even then, you may never really know.

2. Not Every Idea Labeled “Hype” is, in fact, Hype

This is obvious.

The stack truth about life is that we have personal preferences with respect to ideas we want to espouse. This usually blinds us, causes indifference, and makes us shut out other ideas which may well be valuable and sometimes better than what we currently know!

Everyone is at risk of indifference towards ideas which don’t initially “click” with them. That’s OK; this is what makes us individuals. But it helps to know that sometimes it’s about personal preferences and experiences, not necessarily the value of the ideas themselves.

3. Not Every “Hype Idea” must be Hype to YOU

This is VERY important; it all comes down to YOU. What does it mean to YOU? The ideas you espouse, what do they really mean to you? What place do they occupy in your day to day life… when the lights are off, and the music has stopped playing… and the page view count is not moving any further up.

This is the challenge for any person who shares ideas with others. This is the starting place for every writer, every blogger. The same is true for every reader.

4. The Value of Ideas is in their USE

The value of ideas — hype or not — is in their USE.

Ideas YOU are not using remain as ideas… and for YOU qualify to be labeled as “hype”!

If you lived even a little bit of the so called “regurgitated” ideas that you know, your life would probably be very different from what it is. At every point in your life, you can lead a much better life with what you already KNOW and HAVE.

When it comes to ideas, let these words ring in your mind, words I heard Anthony Robbins speak when he shared the story of how he changed his life:

“You don’t need many ideas to change your life; you don’t need complicated ideas to change your life; all you need is AN IDEA you are willing to TAKE IN and USE.”

Some of these ideas are things some people may call “hype” or “regurgitated material”; care less about the label an idea has. As someone recently pointed out to me, you must concern yourself with the results of the ideas, not the semantics.

In short, it doesn’t have to be hype or practical, regurgitated or original. IT JUST HAS TO WORK FOR YOU!

What do you think?

What are your thoughts on all these new (and not so new) ideas that get tossed around in countless ways to help you sort out your life? Does it matter if they are gospel, or useless hype, if they produce results?

Thanks!

(Photo Credit)

4 Things You Need to Know About ALL Ideas is a post from: Quest for Balance